So I have a boyfriend at 14 and originally my parents didn't know and now they do. We've been together for 2 months now. Sadly we will be going to different high schools and they are rival schools and there are ways we can still hang out and stuff. I really really like him and he feels the same. I don't want to break up, but I don't want him to break up with me. Would it be easier if we break up or should we be trying to make this work? What advice do you have for my 14 year old self?
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Dont see each other exclusively. See him on weekends and breaks. Time will tell if you are meant to be together.
I am MUCH older than you are and what I was told back then I didn't want to believe and it made me mad and sad...but now, all these years later, I get it so I will share it....and will totally understand if you get mad and sad. You may even write some really neat poetry about it all...so even better!
1. If it is meant to be, it will be--it is as simple as that...
2. If your parents don't like the person you bring home, pay attention, they are usually right even if it is the most painful thing in the world when they say it. Parents could say things nicer, but their job is to protect you so they usually aren't nice about it. You can obviously make up your own mind...but at least hear them out and think about what they are telling you before you blow a gasket....
3. Rival schools should not be an issue...you aren't the school and neither is he...you are people...unless you are facing each other in a sports competition, that should be irrelevant...(even if you face off in sports...you should be rooting for yourself and him both)!
4. Dating at 14 is different than 15 is different than 16 etc. Enjoy being 14 and don't try to rush growing up. When you are old, you will wish you were 14 again some times...just be yourself...today...
5. If you are lucky (and I consider myself in this one) you and that boy will still be friends when you are old...be it married or friends or even just still acquainted. I am not married to my 14 year old boyfriend (my parents were right about that thank G-d)...but he and I are friends and if I see him, we can laugh about being 14 together.
No matter what you do....be you and be safe! Have fun!
This was EXACTLY me at 14!!!!!!!!! To the T. We just saw each other on the weekends and had so much fun. It was cool to tell each other what was happening at our perspective schools.
Well at 14 I was already engaged - I am now 84 so "times" were a little different when I was 14 - and I do not believe relationships were as intense as they are in present times. So many variables.
I had fun (being engaged) because it was just another period in my life. I am glad that it was just fun but that is what being 14 is all about - having fun.
I would not attempt to give you further advice than that - think about having fun with your boyfriend and lots of other friends - but nothing exclusive with anyone.
I do not believe you will ever receive better "advice" that what Pghgirl40 has stated and I would recommend you print that out and read it over several times and some of your friends might be going through some of the same "symptoms" as you and also need good advice. Attosa also stated what she went through and the results so please listen and maybe learn from their experiences.
It is so true that parents are so close to the problem it is difficult for them to always be rational so it is a very good thing (and speaks highly for your wisdom at just 14) that you are seeking advice from other sources.
You do not see it now but the one thing that hampers parents in giving good "calm" advice is fear. They can visualize many problems down the road and they just do not want you to go through those problems if they can stop it now. Some call it "tough love" but it is usually just plain love.
I hope you will have many years of fun with friends and that true love will find you when the right time comes along (and person - maybe even this one?).
I think whatever you do is good because at this stage of your life it's all about learning about yourself and learning about life and learning about the good and bad of relationships.
I see no reason to break up if you don't want to unless you have decided that it is NOT the best scenario for you, in spite of your emotions. I would be so excited to learn of a 14 year old mature enough to make a rational decision immaterial of her emotions were that I would for one throw you a big party. But ifyou have no strong reason to break up, why? Why not just enjoy it and see where the chips may fall?
good luck
You should tell your parents, invite him to dinner so your parents can get to know him. School comes first so it's best just to see him weekends an break, that's good y'all both feel the same way about each other.
THEY SHOULD HANG OUT AFTER SCHOOL NOT JUST IN SCHOOL
Trust your heart and you will find the answer within yourself!
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