My 5 year old daughter has developed a fear of wearing her knickers over the past few months which has gradually gotten worse to the point where she screams her head off, cries and throws herself to the floor if we try to get her to wear them. When we do manage to get her to wear them as soon as she goes for a wee she will refuse to put them back on saying she still needs a wee even though she will have spent half an hour sitting on the toilet having done 3/4 wees.
When I've asked her what she doesn't like she says it's because she feels scared of weeing in her knickers, but she's not scared when her knickers are off. It's frustrating for us because it's come out of no where and she's never had accidents before so we don't understand where this fear has come from. This has given her high anxiety which has presented in other unusual behaviours such as sucking/biting her fingers, walking round in circles, only wanting to wear the same clothes everyday and the same shoes, which have to be washed before she will put them on and wash her feet before she will put the shoes on, we are waiting for an appointment with an OT, but are at a loss on what to do until then as we have tried a lot of things to help her, but nothing we do seems to help her.
She was assessed for ASD, but wasn't diagnosed at that time as doctors where unsure as she had only just turned 4 and wanted to wait and see her again in a year. So we don't know if that could be why she's started these new behaviours, also breaking up for the school holidays has knocked her routine out so that has had an impact. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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Prayers for your sweetie! I hope they can get you in sooner as I think getting professional directions is what is going to help you the most.
I have 3 suggestions
1. Do you think she would benefit from a trip to the store and be allowed her to pick the undergarment of her choice, would that help her want to wear them...so she feels she has some control?
2. I also wonder if she is having some tactile defensiveness and the material of the undergarments she has are painful for her skin. What are the made from? Like if they are a poly material, maybe try an all cotton material or if you have all cotton try a poly material. Sometimes a change in fabric helps.
3. Have you tried the pull up diapers to help her through this phase? If she is afraid she is going to have an accident in her pretty undies, maybe find something where it is OK if she has an accident (and put the pretty ones on the outside so they are not damaged).
Please post back with an update. Sending lots of good wishes to you both for an easy solution.
Thank you for your reply, we have took her and let her pick her own clothes and knickers for her holidays, she even tried them all on in the store before we bought them but since then shes refused to wear them only wanting to wear the same 3 outfits that are old ones from last year, luckily they still fit. We've tried various styles of knickers and various materials, all still no good, everything weve tried hasn't worked, theres just no convincing her or talking to her she just shouts and screams when we mention wearing her knickers, she wont wear the training pants because she says there for babies she wont even wear shorts or leggings instead of knickers so shes missing out on things because she cant do certain things without wearing knickers also school has said she cant come into school without knickers on or something to cover her self because of safe guarding so we are in a bad situation at the minute and feels like theres no solution.
Please don't give up hope. Hope is everything!! Once she gets in to the doctor perhaps there will be solutions that can help either with a therapy or a medication or both.
Maybe just back off from the topic for a while and let her stay home. Then when things have settled revisit the topic.
Can you do home schooling for a week?
Please post back when you can get her in to the doctor, what the doctor says.
You will be in my prayers.
My daughter is EXACTLY LIKE THIS! there is no logical solution that she will accept and she is 6! Ive tried special sensory underwear, seamless types, boy short types, etc. We have tried cutting off the threads and edging on some other pairs. Ive tried taking her to the store and letting her choose clothes. She is missing things she wants to do because she cant tolerate underwear. We have to physically out her in the car on various states of dress so that she wont miss school.
Hi, I know this is an old post but wondering how you got on with therapy for this. I have a 5yr old daughter with exactly same challenges and wondering what to do as getting worse. We take her shopping all the time to try and find solutions but more clothes/options does not seem to be the answer.
The change in schedule must have set her off.
I would talk to her doctor. 5 years old is old to be having these issues, especially since she was trained before.
I am so sorry to hear this. My grandson started to have similuar issues with the foods he ate and not touching one another on his plate. To me this sounds like someone at school has been teasing her about wearing her knickers. I am not sure but this can also cause problems with children and how they feel in their clothes.
If your daugher only wants to wear certain clothes and she is so upset when you want her to wear her knicker it might be time to take her shopping and allow her to choose her own clothes.
Maybe it is time to take her back to the doctor and see what they can tell you about her behavior. It is not good to allow her to walk around biting on her fingers and sitting on the toilet for 2 to 3 hours at a time.
No its not a good situation, we have took her and let her pick her own clothes and knickers for her holidays, she even tried them all on in the store before we bought them but since then shes refused to wear them only wanting to wear the same 3 outfits. Everything weve tried hasn't worked, theres just no convincing her or talking to her she just shouts and screams, she wont even wear shorts or leggings instead of knickers so shes missing out on things because she cant do certain things without wearing knickers also school has said she cant cone into school without knickers on or something to cover her self because of safe guarding so we are in a bad situation at the minute and feels like theres no solution. All the comments Ive read Ive already tried with her on multiple occasions so we feel abit like theres no hope
Hello. Several years have passed already. Please let me know if your problem have been resolved. Everything is very similar with our 4-years child now.
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