Can my ex wife ask the courts to withdraw my back child support if my daughter is 21 years old now and they are not needing it? Also, because I am going thru some health and financial issues?
By Michael
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My son is still having money taken from his check to cover accrued interest for times when he was unemployed. His son is 26 and has a toddler. Once you get on their rolls it seems you never get off.
The debt never seems to go down. They don't send statements any more so he has no idea how much he owes or how much the state of Texas intends to take. If you can afford it see a lawyer or write to your state senator and representative.
I imagine your "ex" could do that if she wanted to. But then on the other hand when you got behind, no matter the reason, don't you think maybe your "ex" and daughter might have some unpaid expenses from the times you weren't paying support. My opinion is that the absent parent owes support and therefore it should be paid. There is no reason for any absent parent to not be paying child support.
If you lose a job, get a job flipping burgers, or something. I have a former son-in-law that likes to hop jobs, because it something like the grass being greener on the other side of the fence, and the jobs never work out. Due to the job changes, pay periods change, and some payjments get missed. He also knows how to play the system, he lets it go for awhile and then starts paying before it reaches the limit that the state of SD would go to the expense to bring him back from Texas. He and his third wife live in a $500,000 house and she is unemployed. Their 14 year old daughter has clothes to die for, and takes horse riding lessons, and dance lessons, etc., while his four kids here go without.
Divorce laws vary in every state. What works in one doesn't apply in another for the most part. I would contact an divorce attorney in your state and get the matter cleared up.
Child support is not based on "need". It is based on the principal that if you bring a child into this world you are obligated to support it. If you did not always pay then someone else did it for you and you need to pay it back. It is not your call to say if it is needed or not. Pay up.
The problem with back child support is it gathers interest and it is owed no matter what the age of your child. My daughter works in an office where a man is paying back child support on a 32 year old son.
Just because your child is 21 at this point or that you're having health or financial issues is no excuse to not pay your former spouse back who had to foot all the childcare bills by herself while you were getting behind paying! You both made that baby! Even if you can only repay her 100.00 a month for the rest of your life, just put your big boy pants on and do the right thing!
P.S. And I don't care whether it be a man or a woman who owes support. If it's owed, it's owed.
Is your ex-wife in agreement with forgiving the back child support? If that's the case, it might be that the simplest thing is to issue her a check, have it go through the books at the courthouse, but then have her return it to you, un-cashed.
I realize you haven't shared any details of the circumstances, so it is unclear of the reason you got behind, but if this is something you both feel okay with, then that's great. If it's just a matter of you wanting to get out of it, regardless of your ex's circumstances now, and the fact that your daughter is 21, then with careful budgeting. Hopefully you will get the debt paid off.
Whatever you did not pay while your ex was raising your daughter, had to be made up by her. Just because she is in a better position at this point doesn't mean it wasn't a hard road getting there, nor does it negate the fact that it is a debt owed. Hope you can work it out.
I am afraid you are not going to get much sympathy here for owing back child support. You should have paid it when your daughter was young. A debt is a debt.
This is all so sad. Men especially and some women who don't take responsibility for their children. The root of this problem is....stupidity. If you don't want to pay for a child, get a vasectomy, or your tubes tied. One day in the hospital and no worries about having children. I know about this first hand. X son-in-law, slime ball, behind 3,000 on child support and staying unemployed so he don't have to pay it. What a loser.
Stand up and be a man. Accept your responsibilities now because you obviously didn't in the past if your daughter is 21 and you still owe.
To answer your question, yes, your ex wife can ask the courts to withdraw, or "forgive", your back child support.
It's entirely up to her if she feels that she truly doesn't need the money, if she is tired of dealing with the hastle of you and the courts, and if she feels it is a burden lifted from her heart to forgive you.
My 77-year-old, sickly hubby still sacrifices a few dollars every month to the child support office, for back support he didn't pay when the mother took him across the country to live. Not only is the son in question 29 now, but the woman who gave him life didn't even raise him. My hubby did. (He got custody within a couple of years.) He never asked for anything because he never needed it, he could work like two men then. We know this woman will not give us back the money or sign whatever form is required to cancel the debt. She gives our son the money instead. It was his & he never got it from her when he was small. This young man now has three children by three different women. He married #3, but a large part of his every paycheck goes to child support for the other two, even the one whose mother took her out of state to avoid losing custody to my son. I'm not happy to see him in this situation, but he did it to himself. I'd rather see him pay his obligations than his children suffer like I did. My own "father" never paid a dime that I knew of. We lived on assistance and scrounging.
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