Catching Fruit Flies In The Kitchen

I'm sorry people. Call me the oddball. I have tried the classic trap with no success. It consists of pouring an amount of vinegar and a bit of dish detergent in a container and covering the top with perforated cling wrap.

I have tried different vinegars, fruit juices, bits of fruit and other things. It simply does not work for me (unless you count catching 3 fruit flies with cranberry juice over a week's time a success).

I am not discounting pictures (one by our dear Editor in Chief) proving this method works. I'm just saying it doesn't work for me. Yes, call me the oddball.

Several times I have thought about using a vacuum cleaner to suck up the flies but always discarded the idea as I thought they are much too quick to be caught that way.

After gorging on this year's bountiful fruit harvest (sometimes as many as half a dozen navel oranges in one day), I found my kitchen invaded by a hoard of fruit flies.

Noticing a swarm of maybe 75-100 alighted on a kitchen cabinet, I thought, with nothing to lose, I'd give the vacuum cleaner a try. It works! When the flies see the hose approaching, they do attempt to fly away, but, they are not fast enough. In mid flight they are sucked right into the hose.

On the first try, I got most of them. An hour later, I got most of the escapees that had settled back on the cabinet door. Now, I have to hunt for them to get the last remaining few.

Pretty good. No chemical, no sprays or traps and very efficient.

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I have discovered two inexpensive and delicious wines produced right here in The old North State (NC). One is a white scuppernong by Duplin. The other is a white scuppernong by Childress. Both are sweet, low in alcohol and are considered a dessert or sipping wine.

Indulging in a small glass takes me back many years to when I visited my favorite aunt. An old country home with a big front porch, bedecked with several rocking chairs.

We sat on the porch in the cool of the evening. A few yards away was a huge, heavily laden scuppernong arbor. I walked to the arbor, selected and ate a few scuppys, picked a few more and brought them back to the porch.

There I seated myself on the porch steps, just munching away. With tongue in cheek, I brought up any subject I knew would get my Aunt Viola to start reminiscing about the years she was a cow girl...and all the excitement, peace and freedom she felt during that time in her life. It was heaven to me.

Yes, I thought about making a trap using a dram or two of my newfound elixir. If they liked it as well as I do, I would catch them all in one in one fell swoop (whatever that is).

But no, the vacuum works great. I'm not about to waste a drop of my giggle soup on those dastardly varmints!

I'm getting old, Y'all...antiquated. Do you think it's too late for me to become a wino?