I am 8 months pregnant. Yesterday, the father quit his job and told me he would not be working "for a while" because he is trying to get SSI. His mom is struggling financially and so they are trying to convince his counselor that he is "unable" to work and I think she is falling for it. I am meeting with her next week. We had a written agreement he would pay for daycare and verbal agreement he would help with my rent, when I would not be paid, for the last month for my maternity leave.
When I asked him about that, he said I should give our baby up for adoption! I will, of course, find a way to pay for the daycare. I already cut off my cable and started saving even more, and am prepared to support this child on my own. I don't feel I should have to by myself or give my child away like he suggests.
Once my child is born, I plan to file for child support since he has been unstable and inconsistent for my last 5 months of pregnancy. I used a support calculator and it stated that he can use his mental illness to get out of paying even though he is perfectly capable of working! He has been working and/or in school for the past 3 years! Is this true? Has anyone else filed for child support while the non custodial parent was either applying for or receiving SSI? What was your amount? I make 2300 a month, but I have bills including rent, car insurance, daycare for my 8 y/o (300 a month) and daycare for this one will be (500).
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I think you already know that the father of your second child has no intention of being a responsible parent, much less a parent, now and in the future. You are taking the correct steps to insure the absentee father pays something through SSI, if he does receive it.
Here's the deal: He will not get disability easily. Here's why: Since the recession, the government doesn't have as much money to give. They will first give it to people who have spinal damage, missing limbs, or other more obvious disabilities. This means the "baby daddy" (I refuse to say father) will likely be rejected two or three times before he gets any disability. He will have to appeal. Many people give up during the appeals process because they have to have some money in the meantime, and they start to work. If he does work, this proves he can. So it's harder to do than you think.
However, if he works part-time just to support himself, the amount of money they can take from him won't do you much good. It will be small.
I agree he doesn't have any intention to father this child.
I might get some flack for this, but I feel the need to point this out: Birth control is important, even if you have to double up (some women are so fertile they have to use more than one kind to be really safe). There is also abstinence. I know that's a dirty word, but you put your trust in someone who wasn't worth it and now you see how well that worked out. Think about the unsure and unhappy feeling you have right now whenever you feel tempted to be with someone who may not be there for you later.
Definitely agree with Abigail!
In my first answer, I focused on the only probable financial child support you might expect from the sperm donor in the future. Even SSI child support, if eventually possible, will be very low, as it is only based on a small percent of actual prior earnings. The SSI application process will certainly take many months and even years if the sperm donor actually continues to appeal negative decisions.
You now have two children that you are responsible for until they are adults, at least. Your choice to bring two new lives into this world requires that you provide the emotional, financial, educational and, in all possible ways, the very best resources you can to ensure their future. I suggest that you focus your efforts on your ability now and in the future to provide your best for your children.
Our society allows men to easily escape their responsibilities but women are expected to raise their children with no complaints and little or no assistance from anyone. This fact alone should make you extremely careful in all future relationships with men. As you are learning here, men can escape but women cannot.
A clarification in your questions:
It appears that you intend to apply for and expect to receive child support from SSI during the application and hearing process. This is not correct. Nothing is paid to anyone until a court hearing officer decides the father can receive SSI.
they will take it out of his ssi or ssa which ever he receives don't give up your baby there are other supports financial aid gives tanaf for people with limited income with kids
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