How do I deal with a daughter who creates drama against me and blocks me constantly and keeps me from seeing my grandson? My daughter has this unrealistic perception in her mind, that or else she is just saying that I do these things that are the exact opposite than what I do? It is so far fetched that I can't even explain it. I look crazy, feel crazy and it's wearing me out. I fear for my grandson who is being parented by my daughter who has this personality disorder (NPD), undiagnosed. I am an empath and I have had my own issues that I have worked through (abandonment) and now I am seeing my daughter may have a narcissistic personality disorder.
She really started acting this way just a few years ago. She told me we never had a relationship. The worse part is that she calls herself a Christian. If that is a Christian, I wish not to be one. My grandson is three today. I have only been allowed to get to know when she feels like letting me. We bonded right away, he loves seeing me.
She is ripping my heart out keeping me from him.
Help!
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Start by sending a card to her, a hand written note asking permission to think about seeing your grandson on a date that works for both of you. Sounds like you would need to be the better person. You have to do what is needed to see your grandson.
If you think the child is in danger, you need to document evidence and enlist a qualified third party to intervene. You didn't explain how your involvement will benefit anyone or how you intend to demonstrate your love for this grandchild -- which is concerning. What can you offer to bring to the situation?
I feel sorry for anyone to be in a situation like this but we are not the people you should be talking to as we do not know all of the circumstances (and we do not need to) and I'm sure there are possibly health problems involved but a child should not be the one you two are battling over.
I believe you should stop whatever you are doing with your daughter until you have discussed all of this with a qualified counselor. None of this looks like a healthy situation and can only harm the child if it continues.
You should be able to receive counseling free of charge if you consult the Family Services - Google with your zip code and find your local agency.
Please consider doing this as soon as possible.
If what you say is true and you can show just cause then you need to speak with child services and get some help. This will need to be documented and you'll need to prove that the life of your grandson are in danger. You may be asked to go through a physiologic evaluation to prove that you are not making this up and that you are actually a fit grandmother that can see the child.
Your second option is to hire a lawyer and take her to court so you can have visitation rights. This can be rather costly and in the end damage all your chances of seeing your grandson if it does not go in your favor. Furthermore, if it does go in your favor it can drive a bigger wedge between you and your daughter.
This is a very bad situation and you should really try to work this out with her first before trying these other measures.
First, unless you get an answer from a medical expert, this isn't the place for answers. It sounds like you each need some professional help....1) your daughter, to see if she truly does have a mental health issue, and 2) you may need help in dealing with the whole situation, both being kept from your grandchild AND dealing with the possibility of your daughter having mental issues.
I don't think any advice from us can help EXCEPT that we all advise you to take your daughter to get counseling jointly with you with a family matters therapist. She may have issues on her own, but she also drags you into these, causing you not to see your family. Seek professional help as a team. Good luck!
Personally, I feel there is a need for counselling for yourself to seek professional assistance in dealing with this situation! As someone stated earlier, this is between you and your daughter and the son should not be having to deal with this in any way! If you truly care you will deal with this situation with professional help available!
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