I have been with this man for 14 yrs, When he gets angry he's really mean and calls me all kind of names. He has hit me before. We have got 2 boys 15 & 7. He hasn't hit me in a while, but always threatens me that he is gonna hit me.
Last night he asked me about my job. I work 10 hrs a day. He's disabled and stays at home and sleeps all day. Most of the time my oldest takes more care of my youngest than he does. I'm an account manager at a rent to own furniture store and one of the guys used to help me when I had to pick merchandise. Yesterday he asked me who was helping now that he left and I told him the manager is. Then he said does mean he's picking up your stuff now? I told him no, he sent the delivery guy. He got so mad because I didn't say the delivery driver helps me too. He thinks I like him and I don't even talk to the guy. He called me all kinds of names, cursed me out and got in my face yelling. His hand was all in front of my face. I told him he needed to move his hand away from my face and he got angrier and started to say if I didn't stop telling him that, he would hit me, saying I was being sneaky and trying to lie because I like the guy.
I tried to talk to him again today, no luck. There were more insults and name calling. It was so loud that my kids could hear everything. I don't know what to do any more. I feel so sad, I cry all night and when I think about it I want to cry more. I'm so tired and unhappy. He always tells me it is my fault because I don't know how to communicate or have conversations and that's why he gets so angry. He doesn't have patience for stupidity. He says it is my fault because I didn't tell him that my manager was helping me by sending the delivery guy to pickup my merchandise? Instead I told him my manager was helping me?
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This man is an abuser-in all the horrible forms. He and his treatment of you and your children will not improve and will definitely become worse. There is nothing you can do to improve the problem except to grab your children and leave immediately.
I am absolutely with Dinah on this! Worse than him hitting you (if such a thing is possible)? You're raising two boys who will grow up to believe it's okay for men to hit women. Do you want to be responsible for that? Please look to local organizations who help women in such situations and get out as soon as you can.
Ah love. You have to get out. It won't get any better. I'm now 60 and have lived with an abusive father, he hit mum often and then started on his children. You need to take time off work to look for somewhere to live, document everything.
Gail
You are in an abusive relationship. The constant threat of physical abuse IS abuse. Verbal abuse is also abuse.
You say he doesn't work and doesn't really care for your children, so you don't have a lot to lose by leaving him. If you choose to stay, the tension and stress of your household will affect your kids as they get older. They may become depressed, turn to drugs, or have bad grades and not be able to continue schooling.
The man is also their role model for their future relationships.
I read your post and my heart goes out to you on this because I have been there and put up with that for years [I did 'it' by staying for the children is what I always said to myself]... after several years of the mental, physical and verbal abuse from him I got out and you should too. I feel so much stronger and better about myself then I have in years. My husband was jealous also BUT jealously is a weakness in ones self... what is he so insecure about?
I agree you need to get yourself and your boys out of there and as fast as you can... your children are suffering from this too so if you do not want to save yourself SAVE your children.
You're in my prayers... best wishes and keep us all posted on what happens to you honey.
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