Dealing With an Abusive Husband?

When my husband is at his worst, he calls me obscene names, all in front of our daughter. I always remain calm and tell him speaking to me like that is unacceptable. His response "I don't give a ...". This occurs every couple of weeks. He cools down quickly and within 24 hours is acting as if nothing ever happened.

If it is not toward me, he is screaming at his adult children, business associates, or even the mechanic. In between these explosions are often daily subtle digs about my business skills, thought process, cooking, parenting, etc. However, this is mixed in with compliments, loving touches, and helping around the house.

He doesn't drink, do drugs, or go out. He is home every night and is a very much a family man. He is an attentive father.

He has struck me on two occasions. I've told him twice in our 10 year marriage that I want a divorce and both times he promised to get better and asked not to destroy our family, reminding me that our daughter needed her mother and father. And I agree, but I don't want my daughter to ever think this type of behavior is okay. After his latest episode, my daughter told me, "I'm never having a husband like yours."

After reading a few stories, I feel like my situation is not that bad, but still, I often feel depressed, hate intimacy with him, and always cringe when he walks in the door, but I will endure it all if it is best for my daughter to have two parents under one roof.

By Anna P.