I was a caregiver to my mother who passed back in May. She was in a nursing home and I used to visit twice a day. I am having trouble still trying to deal with the fact I could not see her without glass between us for 3 months before she passed because of the virus and also just the general missing her. I could really take from hearing from some people on how to go about feeling better. Thanks.
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Sending you my deepest sympathy for your loss. May your mom's memory always be a blessing.
If you are a religious person, I urge you to talk to your clergy and see if you can join a Zoom/Microsoft Office Teams or WhatApp grief share groups (there are some that are non-denomination also--in my town they are run by the bigger funeral homes). I have several friend who are getting great benefit from these groups.
If you are not of a mind to join a group person, private activities that friends and family have found beneficial are journaling, a daily private prayer time dedicated to your loved one, and art creation.
There is (if you health insurance) private counseling you can attend. If you don't have health insurance, call your local United Way and see if they have programs that can help you with the costs/resources for individual therapy.
There are people who care! Praying for you to find a solution that helps lift you through your grief.
Post back with an update and let us know what is working!
I'm very sorry for your loss, especially at a time when COVID-19 kept many from their loved ones. I lost my husband 17 years ago, and what helped me cope was that I wrote letters to him. Even though they could not be mailed... I still have them all of course, but it was a way of telling him how I was feeling, of events he was missing, how much I missed him, etc. At first, I would cry while writing down my thoughts, but it got easier to tell him things, such as when our son got married, and when our two grandchildren were each born, how everyone was doing, important world events, and even game scores of his favorite sports teams.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
It is difficult to offer help as loss of a loved one is such a personal matter and circumstances are always different for each person/family. It sounds like you do not have any close family to share your grief with and grief is something that seems to be a constant companion when we're all alone in our sorrow.
I believe you really need professional grief counseling but therapy like this can be very expensive so I would suggest you look at all of the suggestions that have been provided to see if any of these can help you through this very disturbing period of time.
There are many sites that offer links to 'help' groups and these are usually free but you will have to check each one to see if it sounds like something you would like to try. Of course, you may have to join several to find one that fits how you feel.
I would recommend contacting AARP and asking for help. Do not be shy or embarrassed as there are thousands of people in the same situation as you. You do not have to be a member but they have a lot of resources available to them and may be able to contact someone in your area.
There are a lot of sites that offers suggestions so take your time and read what they have to say - do not get discouraged if nothing seems to be what you need - just keep searching.
Please stay in contact with friends and if you belong to any of the church groups be sure to stay in touch with friends and members and ask for help from the elders of the group.
If there is any kind of safe volunteering that you can do, now would be a good time to renew that - especially if it is dealing with animals. Just be sure it is safe.
If you have any family members to contact, now would be a good time to renew conversations so everyone can enjoy remembering good times/things.
I just want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss.
It is really a tough year. I'm sorry to hear, my condolences to you and your family.
You can see if there are local support groups you could be apart of. I find that writing down what's on my mind, helps me grieve. There may be a hobby you can see if that helps, everyone grieves differently and I hope you find your method of grieving.
Take care, stay safe.
Grieving takes time and everyone has a different experience. Do not feel guilty that you could not visit your mother the way you would have wanted to, even if she did not understand the circumstances.
You could Celebrate her life, do things that are related or in memory of her. You could keep a journal/ diary to write in daily. This helps with getting some feelings out. Also enjoy pretty days outside with walks with nature. Also may be a good time for a pet ,they help so much with grieving( if you do not have one). If you have a Hobby, do more with that. Your Mother would want you to keep yourself healthy so that you can enjoy life and memories. Also check in your area for grieving families, often you can get in touch with groups of grieving families with doing meetings, chat, email, phone. You are not alone!
Here is a link to the Mental Health Association. I would look under their "Find Help" option. So sorry for your loss. I wish you well.
mhanational.org/
You have my sympathies on the loss of your mother. I can identify with your situation also. I was the caregiver for both my mom and dad, both of whom passed away within eight months of each other in 2020. While I was able to visit my mom, I was not able to do so with my dad due to coronavirus restrictions in our state; window or video visits only. I can totally identify with your situation, which is very difficult. I am not someone who is comfortable talking about my problems, like with friends or in a grief support group, but I did sign up for a daily grief support email with a local funeral home. These emails have been a help to me. Most funeral homes offer this service for free, for about a year and does not need to be from the funeral home that handled your mom's remains. You can find this free service by going to one of your local funeral home websites. I wish you well.....
In sympathy,
Tori in PA
Tori in Pa. This is Max. Thank you for your reply to my situation. I am so sorry for the loss of both your Mother and Father. The situation of not being able to visit with a love one is something that is unbearable. My Mother was doing pretty good at the beginning but then she stopped eating. I called everyone I could pleading to get in to help her with one meal a day and got the same answer everytime we are sorry but they can't take any chances. I hope you are doing ok. Maybe we can stay in touch. Take good care.
Hi Max,
I would have replied to your post sooner, but thriftyfun doesn't forward your message to me directly. I just happened to see it today when I searched for your question again to see if there were any suggestions that might help me. How are you doing so far? Any suggestions other people have made that have helped you? At any rate, hang in there! Tori
Hey Tori. I'm doing some better. I forgot to mention before that I am volunteering 20 hrs a week at a community in schools thrift store. Also although I got a little lazy last week(lol) I try to do a good bit of walking. I believe these things are helping but it may be as much that I am getting farther along in the process. Someone told me last week that the healing process is taking hold on me and I'm better able to deal with it. That may be the key right now, better able to DEAL with it. How are you doing?
Hi Max, I am hanging in there. I started walking myself again at the beginning of November 2020, right after my dad died. It's an activity I enjoy for fitness and stress relief. I had been a daily walker before I got deep into the caregiving with both parents, and then I just stopped doing it altogether. Now I'm up to about 1.75 miles per day, plus I have two small dogs, one of which is a senior and has medical issues. I'm glad to hear you are busy with your volunteering; that is such a worthwhile thing to do. Sounds like you are on a path to healing, especially since someone you know noticed changes in you. It would be nice for you and I to communicate outside of thriftyfun, but I didn't want to put my email address where the general public can see it, so I'm open to suggestions if you have any. Have a good weekend! Tori
You can send a private message to any member by clicking on their name. The message link is at the top right of the profile page. Then you can privately exchange your email addresses.
Best wishes to both of you during this trying time.
Hey Tori its Max. I hope you had a good wknd and that the weather was good enough that you were able to get outside and do some walking. I grew up in West Virginia so I know that it can be hit and miss getting out this time of the year. I agree about what you said but don't have any suggestions at this moment. Take good care.
Hey Tori it's Max. I hope you are doing well. Has the weather allowed you to get out and do any walking this past week? Take good care!!
Tori this is Max. I sure hope you are doing ok!
Tori are you still looking at this site?
Tori this is Max. Are you doing ok?
Tori this is Max. I sure hope you are doing ok.
Tori this is Max. I am very concerned about you and hope you are doing ok.
How specifically again do you send a private message?
To send a message, click on any member's name. You will be forwarded to their profile page. There is a message button on the top right.
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