I have lived in a small town, less then 300, for 10 years now. I still do not feel I fit in with the women that live here. I am a widow. My husband got sick almost soon as we moved here and died soon after. During that time I was home-bound caring for him. A few ladies did try to make friends with me at that time, out of their christian duty I suppose. They were very interested in me joining their church and bible study. When I resisted that they lost interest. Not that I do not believe in God, I do I am just not much of a joiner of anything.
The only other way to get to know people is volunteer fire department ladies AUX. Ugh, I attended a few meetings. I got to helping pick-up our town highway trash. At first I had a helper and then I got 4 miles of road to pick up by myself! Come on ladies. But several of the ladies had quit, so we were all short on help.
Then I got Lyme disease. I was very sick. It took 2 years to get a positive lyme test. So for all that time I was sick as a dog and had no idea why! So I became pretty much home-bound. Nobody seemed to notice I was even sick let alone alive. lol
Now I am feeling better, but am just kinda stuck in a rut about not having anything to do with anyone. Is it time for a move or what?
By Barb
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Everywhere you go, there you are. That's a problem you will have to deal with. In order to have friends, you have to be a friend. You can not sit and wait for people to come to you. It may be time to move to a place that is bigger with more variety of activities that you might be interested in. But you will not make friends if you don't go out and join in on things.
You have to become a "joiner". You could also start a group and see if people would like to join in. In my area, a town of about 5000, there are these groups that I might join & some of the activities I take part in - a book club, a singing group that sings once a week at a local seniors residence, a line-dancing group, a quilting group, exercise classes, curling club, part time work as a ski instructor, substitute teacher, and tutor, art club, art classes, Red Hat society, volunteering to do meals on wheels, retired teachers' group, ladies golf group, volunteer at a school, museum volunteer, hospital volunteer, senior citizens club, etc. I do not do all this stuff, of course, but these are some activities I could do.
I do believe you should move. Here's why:
There has to be activities that you want to do in order for you to meet people. Very small towns are often insular and have fewer opportunities. Also, you may find yourself in a town with an aging demographic, with people who talk about illnesses and dead loved ones primarily. This will certainly get you down.
Finally, if you are in a town in which several generations of families have lived, you will no doubt feel you are the "odd one out" if you don't have a street or business named after a prominent ancestor.
In my town we have community opportunities and classes. There is community theater, Toastmasters, yoga, rug hooking, quilting, book club and other groups. You need to find a place like that.
There are also quite a few things going on while the weather is nice such as the farmer's market every friday. Beware though, of moving to a place with a long winter, which is why I can't quite recommend my town- there is a short season due to being in the mountains. But I would recommend Colorado in general. People here are more active, and since nearly everyone here is originally from somewhere else, they are more inclined to be friendly.
Some good advice. I had to move 4 years ago from a large town because of a neck injury. I've been active in groups in the past, but am admittedly a bit impatient with some social etiquette, and thus a loner in my thoughts. Neck pain makes me afraid to be social, because that is when I feel the pain the most.
My mom has what we believe to be lyme disease, having hard time getting a diagnosis... any tips?
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