I would like to see if someone can please give me some feedback. I have a disabled brother who I've been taking care for since 13 years of age. I never got custody of him because I never knew about it when I was younger. My mom passed away and she told me to look after him. Lately my brother is having behavorial problems which are just getting worse and my dad does not help me.
My dad is his legal guardian, but I refuse to give my dad the right to take my brother. My dad is very inresponsible and is in denial. He won't take my brother to his appointments or give him the medication at the time indicated. My brother is 37 years old, but has the mentality of a 6 year old. I've been trying to put him in a day program, but the state I live in has a waiting list for a waiver.
My sister and I don't work because we were told by his doctor that my brother can't be left alone. I don't drive so she has to take me to all his appointments. We are surviving on what my brother gets from SSI and we barely make it with all the copayments and appointments we have. I would like to know if I can take my dad to court to get legal custody and maybe try to get some child support or some type of financial help. Thanks for your time.
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The Legal Aid Society in your state that will provide assistance in obtaining legal custody for your brother. There is no fee for services. You can call or check online for your local office and an appointment.
From your description of your brother, he should be living in a state living facility, not at home. Have you applied to this type of facility for him? Of course, if he is able to live in a state facility, you and your sister will lose all benefits that have been paid to you for his care. Is this why you are providing his care at home?
If you and your sister have been providing all of his care, it appears you have severely limited your lives to care for him.
I do think you can get guardianship under these circumstances. It shouldn't be hard to prove you are responsible for your brother's care. You will need legal counsel.
I also think looking into a group home is a good idea. Your brother is severely disabled and could use the help of professionals. You must be spending all your time caring for him. Social Services should be able to hook you up with people who can review his situation and see if he can be placed.
It seems that you leave several questions unanswered but it does appear that you need to have someone in a more professional capacity to answer your questions and help make decisions that are the most beneficial for your brother - not what is best for you or your sister or your dad.
Not sure what you mean by refusing to give your dad the right to take your brother. It would appear that if he is the guardian then he should legally have that right - without your permission.
It is also difficult to understand why it takes you and your sister - full time - to take care of your brother. Are you sure that you are not using your brother as an excuse? It does appear that at least ONE of you could have a job?
I do know that you are probably receiving more help/assistance than mentioned because it would be very difficult to support 3 people (housing, food, utilities, clothing, and other necessities) on just what you mention.
I believe most people would agree that your brother probably needs a lot more than he is receiving if he is not in some kind of program. I would be the first to agree that loving care is very important but some sort of daily program (maybe even a special home) would make a world of difference in your brothers life.
I know (from experience) that "people" outside the real situation cannot make decisions like this so please seek outside professional help.
It seems that Dinah has many good points and suggestions so please take her advice and do it as soon as you can.
Don't you and your sister want some kind of life that is not tied to the everyday (24/7) care of your brother?
With the condition you describe - your brother may be able to live for many, many years - so it would seem that you would want him and yourself to make the very most of those years.
Try to think about everyone involved and look for the best solution - mainly one that will put your brother's health and welfare first.
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