My daughter is almost 4 and she is beyond attached to me. I can't explain it any other way other to say that it is extremely exhausting and unhealthy. I don't know what to do. Besides the extra clingy thing, she also has a really hard time listening. From the moment she wakes up to the moment she goes to sleep, it's an ongoing battle.
I cant even walk in the other room without her right behind me. If I sit down on the couch she practically sits on my lap when the whole couch is available. God forbid I lock the door when I shower. She will literally bang on the door as hard as she can until I open it or she will sit at the door until I get out. When I try to get her to nap just so I can have a little time for myself, she will scream and cry so bad as if someone is hurting her. The whole time screaming Mommy Mommy.
I need advice. I am mentally drained. Oh yea, I also have a 10 month old boy who is very much a cryer. HELP!
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I think you need a professional's help with this. I would talk to your pediatrician and get a referral to a counselor or therapist to get to the bottom of what is going on.
In my experience, 4 year olds are generally independent and outgoing. Has this behavior started after the new baby was born or was she always clingy? It is possible that there was some sort of trauma that you are unaware of, or it is related to a behavioral condition that comes out as a child develops. ADHD and autism present with a similar inability to focus and listen, but the clinginess seems like something different. She could also be feeling replaced by her brother and mirroring the stress or anxiety that you are feeling too.
Another idea is to have her spend time with another trusted adult; a daddy/daughter date, shopping trip with grandma, baking cookies with a neighbor, etc. This will help her know that you are always there when she returns from her fun adventure and show her a bigger world than your home. A few hours of daycare or preschool might also be a good idea and gives you a welcome break.
Whatever steps you take, know that this child is NOT behaving this way on purpose. She is too young to be truly naughty and most preschoolers are eager to please. It sounds like she is trying to tell you that she doesn't feel safe and is worried about losing you. Once you get to the bottom of her concerns, these issues should improve.
Wishing you the best for you and your children. Parenting is hard and never seems to work out as planned. It's a thankless job but, one day, she will become a beautiful and independent woman and thank you for your patience and love when she needed it.
She has always been a bit clingy but everything definitely got a lot worse when baby brother was born. Thank you for your advice. I was thinking about talking to her pediatrician but just thought she was too young for mental health issues.
If you haven't already, I would suggest you involve her as much as you can in caring for her baby brother. She may feel like you don't love her as much as you used to, and she's scared that you'll stop loving her completely. Perhaps you can try to have a mother-daughter date once a week or at least on a regular basis. I had two babies 18 months apart, so I remember very well dealing with issues similar to this. Good luck to you!
Your daughter is not too young to show signs of mental illness. I would rather be safe than sorry. Consult a professional and see whether this falls in the range of normal behavior.
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