My partner has a 5 year old daughter, her mother has always contemplated letting my partner see his daughter. However for 4 months on-off he sees her each weekend. Then all of a sudden she stops coming down/speaking to him.
My partner calls his daughter daily, and at the moment he is off work. So he asked his daughter to stay for some time as she is off school, however her mother just keeps saying no. Wednesday she rang my partner up and told him he needed to pay child support. However she has never asked for this before because when he sees his daughter he takes her out shopping, playing, and out for tea/breakfast, etc.
However his ex partner has just had a baby with somebody else, her partner is not registered as living with her. She also worked part time, but still received her full benefits and house paid for, along with luxury pets and furniture.
My partner works full time, I work full time and we live in a one bedroom place. His ex partner told him she would ring the police on him, call child support, and social services on him because he refuses to pay the money. Considering it is now a month since seeing his daughter. I do understand that she is 5 and with a new baby in the household she could feel jealous over attention.
To the point, will his ex's benefits stop, should we tell the authority that she and her partner both work cash in hand and still receive all benefits full?
Also what happens to my partner, he does not want all his wages going to his ex when he doesn't even see his daughter?
Thanks.
By AMB
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Your boyfriend should be paying child support that he can afford on a weekly or monthly basis. If he is reluctant to do so, his ex can go to court and the court will order him to pay child support. This will be more than the amount he would voluntarily pay and they can garnish his wages if he doesn't pay it.
As far as visitation is concerned, as long as he isn't doing anything dangerous or illegal, he can get visitation. He will have to go to family court and request it. Keep in mind that if he does request visitation, his ex will certainly request court-ordered child support. But then again, she can do that anytime.
As far as the ex's financial situation is concerned, I assure you that if you went to the "authorities" with this information they would escort you right back out the door. They are way too busy to get involved with unprovable accusations.
How do you know your partner's ex and her partner get paid in cash and get benefits? If you know this for sure you have your nose where it doesn't belong. Are you sure the little girl isn't playing the parents against each other and that is why the kid doesn't always see her Dad.
Also I have heard of judges that tell the step parents their opinion about step kids don't count and they should keep their nose out of it. Then there are the alleged step parents that are only playing house with the parent, which apparently is what you are doing, judges have been known to tell these people not to refer to themselves as step parents because that only applies to married people. As long as the ex's significant other isn't living in the house his income doesn't count other than providing support for the new baby. The same applies to you, when it comes to child support, your income wouldn't be counted. Even if you and the father were married, your income wouldn't be counted for child support.
As an old saying goes - there are usually two sides to every story (and sometimes 3 or 4?). You do not say where you live - even USA or another country - so it is difficult to offer suggestions as rules/laws about this sort of thing are different everywhere - even in different states in the US.
Most Everyone on Thrifty will agree that the father should be paying some type of child support. It appears from your remarks that your partner and the mother of his child were never married? That sort-of explains why there is no agreement on support and visitation. This does not negate his obligation/responsibility to support the child but it does make a lot of difference as to the legal aspect of someone making him pay.
Since we have no information about where you live - your partner should decide how he wishes to handle this as getting legal advice seems the only way to resolve something like this.
Just bear in mind that when a legal resolution is started - everything about your partner's financial situation as well as the mother's will have to be stated and may be investigated before the court will make a final decision.
I kinda doubt there is anything the mother can do to legally collect the money unless there is some kind of written agreement. But this also means she is in charge of visitation rights also.
It seems it may be a good idea for the two of them (just them) to have a private discussion and try to decide what is fair in their present situation? Maybe no one wishes for the whole "truth" about finances and living conditions to be brought out into the open.
It is good that the father wishes to have visitation rights but support is necessary even if visits are few or never.
I hope that none of these discussions are conducted when the child is around.
Also, I believe most will agree - this whole matter should be decided by the two parents - and - hopefully they will resolve things with the child's best interest in mind.
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