"Please Hear Me" - Email Etiquette

This is something I wrote recently and actually did send it to some of the people who can't get it after years of asking nicely.

If you have a friend who sends you forwards till your eyes bleed, subject matters you hate, boring surveys and never really connects with you except to send you more junk, please feel free to copy and paste this into an email. It's yours for the copying. Seriously. I hope it helps.

Please Hear Me

From a weary and often ignored reader.

Email Etiquette

After years of asking people to do or not do something when they send me emails, I am going to send this to each of you who have ignored my pleas. I hope it works.

If I tell you I don't like political digs, jokes, quips, nasty comments, stupid signs and the like, please stop sending them. It might be that I am not a politically involved person. Or, I just might like the person you don't. Political opinions are like noses, everyone has one. If I dont foist mine upon you, please do me the same kindness.

If I tell you I am not into religious things, please stop trying to save me. I may not believe I need saving. And I don't believe that, whether I send that angel prayer to 14 people in the first 6 minutes of opening the email, something wonderful will happen tomorrow at 4:30 pm. As far as I am concerned, something wonderful will already be happening tomorrow afternoon at 4:30 pm.

Hopefully, I will be breathing, sheltered, fed, content, and relatively safe. I equally don't believe that the universe, who already dictates my fate (if I were a believer in astrology or numerology) would cast some catastrophe on me because I didnt open or forward my email in time. One of the reasons I delete those, is because "I have heard my friends when they ask me not to forward them and I remember". And the funny thing is, some of you actually preface these emails with "I don't believe in these but why tempt fate"!

Now, surveys might be nice on the back of store receipts, as who wouldn't want to win 1,000.00, right? But when I get 12 surveys from one person per year and they all start out with "What color socks are you wearing right now"? My only conclusion is that person either forgets things quickly, or they think I have at least 12 pairs of socks and I wear them even when its 100 degrees in the shade. I promise you, if your questions have not changed in over a year, neither have my answers. But just so you know today, I am barefoot.

I am not saying that all forwards are unwelcome. I love anything with animals, cute kids, sand casting, amazing chalk drawings, and the like. What I do hate however, is scrolling down half the page to get past all the forward address, some of whom may not want everyone in cyberspace to see who they are, just to get to the good stuff.

I think forward is a great tool, but it also tends to make us lazy. When I forward something, I take the time to highlight and delete all the other people who have seen it before me. Or, if it's possible to capture the image and the text to a word doc, I send it as an attachment for my friends to see. It might be a bit more work, but it's nicer for the recipient.

If you like a bit of humor in your life, we are on the same page. I start each of my days with comics and LOL Cats on line. I personally hope to be laughing and crocheting when I leave this earth.

But it probably won't be from any kind of humor that makes fun of obese, poor, sexually different, or challenged people. The world is full of enough hate, and I personally don't find that kind of humor funny. Since I am poor, overweight, and physically challenged, it stings a bit more now days.

So, please dont send me those that make fun of other people. I am one of them. And it hurts.

If you are swimming in money and want to brag about your trips, jewelry, new cars and such, fine. But try and remember that some of us live under the poverty level, can't afford a dentist much less a cruise, own 3 pair of shoes, and ride buses.

So here is what I would like from you. News about jobs, kids, pets, homes, cars, births, deaths, promotions, good times, hard times, plans, hopes and dreams, and more. I want pictures of it all, so I can share in your family and your life as I try and share mine.

A friend told me one time that I tell people every time I turn around and fart. That might be true. But I don't have to wait for once a year and write the dreaded Christmas Letter and people don't have to wonder what I am up to.

Everything seems to have disclaimers these days. So, here is mine.

I know that it's a free country, everything in cyberspace is acceptable, and it's your right on your computer to send what you want. I get that. I really do. But just because we can do something doesn't mean we should.

A computer is not a weapon, it's a tool. That means you don't use a railroad spike to hang up a towel rack. Cyber responsibility is more important today than ever. But it's even more than that. It's respect for the recipient.

That porn you think was cute might be opened up when someone's parents are sitting behind someone.

If you think that all fat people should either lose weight or cease to exist, one of them just might.

Did that jab about the boss you just sent to a coworker during this mornings coffee break be fwd fwd fwd to everyone in the office by lunch?

When you want to make fun of an awkward kid in school today, you may find yourself at their funeral next week.

So, here is my advice.

The Send button should have a timer on it. Perhaps everything should automatically go into the drafts folder for 24 hours so you can think about something before you send it.

I am going to send this to a few of my people who just havent gotten it yet.

And yes, next week I will be asked what color socks I am wearing.