My grandson just turned 3. He is a smart child, but he refuses to use the toilet. He tells me that he is a baby and doesn't have to use the toilet. Can anyone gives his mother and I some ideas on how to get him to use it.
Thank you,
Barbara
My son totally refused to use it until he turned 3. He told me all along he would use when he was 3 years old. On his third birthday I reminded him of that fact and he has used ever since. You might ask son and grandson when he thinks he needs to start using the potty. I was assured from the Child Development Center he goes to this was not unusual and they were right. Be patient! He will use when ready.
By K. Thomas
By Tammymarie
My baby is now 27 years old and let me tell you... This child would as the old saying goes... Cut his nose off to spite his face. Talk about stubborn! He was not going to be potty trained no matter what I or his Father said or did. Thankfully I came across an article right at that time in Parents Magazine with the perfect solution.
A Reward Bowl... the article said to have a bowl of rewards... little candies, suckers, stickers, inexpensive toys, colored pencils, crayons... whatever you think would appeal to your child as a reward and not cost a fortune.
Well let me just say... I showed him the reward bowl and said when you use the potty like a big boy you may have one of whatever you want from this bowl... If you potty your pants like a baby you do not get anything from your bowl. He immediately went in and used the bathroom, washed his hands and came out and picked his reward... about 30 minutes later he came to me and said... I went to the bathroom MaMa... I asked did you go in the potty like a big boy... He looked down and said No. I told him You only get something from the bowl when you use the potty like a big boy.
I also utilized this reward system with him throughout his growing up years... rather then negative attention he looked forward to positive attention. That 27 year old stubborn child is now in his 3rd year of university working towards a medical degree. Stubborn children need special handling... because that stubbornness is a gift in disguise when they become adults. Once you get that stubbornness directed... they can accomplish anything they set their minds to.
By Rona Olson
At that age my son was also refusing to use the toilet. I was so frustrated since I KNEW he could do it, but he kept telling me "no, I'm not a big boy". Then one day it was like a light bulb popped on in my head - HE WAS MY LITTLE BOY! Keyword there - LITTLE! I took a few minutes to tell him that he would still be my little boy and that I would still snuggle with him and treat him the same, he just would wear underwear like his brother and sister and use the potty. Believe it or not, he fully potty trained within 3 days - day and night time! Trust me, this was a child who adored his pull-ups and wanted NOTHING to do with undies a few days earlier. Give it a try - he may not want to 'grow up' yet and be afraid that he won't still be your baby boy :) No matter how things go, don't push to hard or he'll just refuse the toilet even more!
trill22
To encourage my grandson to give up diapers I bought Bob the Builder and Scooby Doo underwear, and told they were BIG BOY underwear and he didn't want to mess them up. Matter of fact I still have them at my house. Moms, PATIENCE and ENCOURAGEMENT works, FUSSING doesn't. I worked with kids at Head start and believe me if you want positive results PRAISE them for their accomplishments.
MamawKCMy son became potty trained at the age of 3 years and a few months after a good bout of diarrhea helped him to figure out where his muscles were and what urges felt like. Nothing I did before then helped. He wasn't being stubborn, his body/brain just didn't get the message. He graduated in the top 3% of his high school class amidst plenty of competition, so don't equate potty training with intelligence.
cookwie
You may want to to put up a reward chart and every time he uses the potty put a star or some sort of sticker on it. Tell him after is receives x amount of stars that he will be rewarded by picking out a new toy, etc.
Another thing that worked like a charm with my children was to have them watch "It's Potty Time "video for two weeks once a day. He will be going in no time!
Mrs. Clean
My "baby" still just dies when I tell this story... and she's now 29 with a baby of her own.
When my daughter was about 3 1/2, she was wearing training pants during her waking hours and a diaper during her naps and at bedtime. I don't know how, but that little thing would hold it till those times! When she didn't, she would mop up her puddle, put her panties in the hamper and put a clean pair on! Well, one nap time she woke up with an absolutely DISGUSTING diaper, and I very calmly told her that I had changed all of the diapers I cared to, and the she was welcome to continue to wear them but she would have to change herself from now on. And I stuck to it! After about 15 long minutes of her being heartbroken, I caved in and told her that this was the very last one I would change. She didn't even wear a diaper to bed that night. She was really potty trained with almost no accidents after that. The thing is to really mean it and stick to it. I guarantee that they will only choose to change themselves once or twice.
By Margie Minard
When I had my daughter, my son was 3. He wanted to be a baby, so I let him. He got a bottle and a diaper and had to stay in the crib with a rattle to play with. Didn't last long. That staying in the crib is no fun. Diapers don't feel good after pants.
By siris
He has to know you don't think of him as a baby anymore - it's partly how he controls you. It's a way he can control you, because he has figure out already mommies like having babies and being needed by them. And he has enjoyed being 'cute' when he was a baby, because he was.
I would begin by reassuring him that, even when he's a daddy, he'll always be so special to you that he'll always be your "baby". But that real babies are different. Begin to say, when with a real baby "Oh, look at that BABY! See how little he is and how big you are. He's going to want to be big, too ... just like you." And compare hand sizes, feet, stature. Hold up baby clothes to your grandson. Permit him to see the difference. Remind him that babies don't get to eat ice cream, or have a popsicle or cookie, or go to the park and play.
Diapers are very good at keeping the discomfort of being wet away from the children. He probably doesn't have a 'reason' not to use his diaper. Help him by putting him in cloth diapers or training pants - or big boy pants. He'll soon be able to associate the feeling of having to 'go' with the uncomfortable feeling of wet or soiled clothing.
Let him go to the bathroom with his dad - most boys want to be like their dad, and he'll get the idea.
Leave chocolate chips in a special container that can be reached when he uses the toilet. Let him have one chocolate chip when he successfully uses the toilet.
Finally, when you take him to the toilet try putting (just) one cheerio in the toilet and make a game of letting him try to "sink the boat."
When my grandson was about that age he refused to use the toilet to defecate. He thought it was funny for grandma to clean him up -- and also it let him get up from his nap time because he always did it during his nap time then needed changed. Finally Grandma told him, "I know you are a big boy and can use the toilet to poop if you want to. You know it too. So, the next time you poop in your pants you will clean yourself up." In less than 15 minutes he soiled himself and called to get out of bed because he needed changed. I didn't make a fuss, didn't scold and didn't holler. I just said, "Okay". Took him to the bathroom as usual. Had him take his OWN pants off, dump it in the toilet, then clean himself with toilet paper. He didn't like it and said it was icky and too hard. I didn't give in, reminded him what the rule was, and stood by to help him figure out how. He had to do a good enough job that I could easily wash him with a cloth after he was finished. He never soiled himself again.
By little me
I'm almost finished with daytime potty training of my 3rd and last child. It's a time consuming and sometimes frustrating process. 1st pick a week (a whole week) where you aren't going to be going out a lot. Put the child in 5 ply underwear (training pants) and DON'T fall back on diapers or pull ups except for sleeping times. I have a container of M&Ms in the bathroom for reward. 2 for pee-pee, 3 for poo-poo, or gummies or whatever he likes. Encourage him to go, reward him when he does, really make a big deal out of it. We call them potty parties. We clap & yell & give out the M&Ms. My older children are BIG helps w/ the encouragement so they get M&Ms for being potty helpers. Don't make a big deal when he wets his pants, just make him take off the wet clothes, take them to the laundry area, put more on, etc. The potty parties will eventually go away. After they get the potty process down & start going without prompting, they start forgetting about the M&Ms. Also, if he tries to trick you saying he went pee pee just to get an M&M, cut up small squares of colored tissue paper to place in the bottom of the potty chair. You can quickly tell if he went or not. Good luck!
Now! Does anyone have any advice for nighttime potty training for me? My middle child is making NO progress. Wets the bed almost every night. The only time she stays dry is if I get up & take her at 12:30, 3:30, 6:30 (yawn, yawn) and sometimes even that doesn't work. She'll sleep in it & it doesn't even phase her; I'm not even sure if it wakes her up anymore.
By Nancy
My daughter was a challenge. She finally cooperated when I bought stickers and let her decorate her potty. Since she had to earn these stickers, she was always willing to use her potty. My son was very easy, I didn't need to bribe him, but I did have to wake him to use the toilet before I went to bed or he would have an accident.
By mkymlp
I was a nanny for a toddler that I and his parents finally got trained around age 3 or so. He was so scared of germs. Anyway, instead of cheerios I used fruit loops for the color or the animal shaped cheese crackers for him to sink. I told him to "go get the shark"! It eventually worked - I also made charts and bought little trinkets at stores that when he went so many times in a specific period - 1/2 day, couple days, week - you can decide as you go along he received. Children all vary and it is best to let them go at their own pace - remember the grow up so fast! My "little guy" is now a teenager!...lol
By bearlover
It sounds like this little boy has made a conscious decision. It's a control issue. He wants to be a baby? Fine! Let him be a baby, which means losing his "big boy" privileges. Put up his "big boy" toys, roll back his bed time, suspend outings to places where "Babies don't go"... DON'T cave in. Babies don't have as much fun as big boys. Allow him to choose to be a 'big boy', and then reward him accordingly.
By Guest
Children get tired of everyone controlling them and telling them no, so by age 3, they can be rebellious. A child can only potty train when they are mentally and physically ready. It cannot be when a parent decides it's time. They need to be showing signs of readiness. By age 3, you should see some signs shortly, if not already. You have to make them think it is their choice to use the potty when they are ready. Tell them the benefits of being a big boy (wearing big boy underwear, getting a candy every time you use the potty, using the big boy potty at Walmart instead of laying on the changing table like a baby), and pick out a toy you think he would like and tell him he can have it after a week of being a big boy and using the potty. Rewards work wonderfully, but the timing has to be right. Boys tend to potty train closer to age 3. Remember not to punish for accidents; make no big deal about it. Make huge deals about going in the potty. Tell everyone in front of the little one and make him feel so proud! Good luck!
By suzi homemaker
Reading all these stories of kids that are now grown up brings a tear to my eyes. I have a 17, 16 and 3 yr. old. They grow up so fast! My suggestion for potty training: now is the perfect time with summer coming. Commit yourself to staying home for a few days. Put him in "big boy" underwear and a t-shirt and let him go. After a few times of peeing down his leg he won't like it. This works best if you can spend a lot of time outside. I also agree to let him know he'll always be your little boy but can still do big boy things too. I would not recommend the reward bowl because it might contribute to childhood obesity and unhealthy eating habits. Sorry, I'm sure it works but I am a nurse, and that is how bad habits get started.
TC in MO
One of the best tips I had was to let children proceed at their own pace. I have twins who will turn 4 this summer. To begin with, we went and let them pick out their own underwear. Then we went to the potty every hour. My daughter got it really fast and was trained by 2 1/2. However, even though he wanted to use the potty my son was unable to make him self go when he tried. I didn't push him and when he was almost three, he was instantly potty trained. Give your grandson the time and the choice to do this. Reward him with clapping and praise when he does use the potty. It often takes boys longer to get everything working.
By Jen
My Daughter wet the bed until she was 10 or older. We tried everything including nose drops prescribed to be used before bedtime and nothing. This was not only discouraging to her but a lot of work on me. An older friend told me her girl did the same and a doctor told her that when she reached puberty it would clear itself up. And sure enough it did. We can't really RUSH nature. Some children are just not physically ready to be trained when we feel we're ready for a break! Be patient.
By MamawKC
When my grandson was ready to be potty trained his pediatrician gave us a couple of tips that worked for us. The first one is put either Cheerios or Fruit Loops in the toilet & tell him to aim for them. If he hits them then you can offer some type of reward. Another tip is to keep a small dish or individual packages of M&M's, Skittles or any other goodies that he really likes & reward him with these every time he uses the potty. They worked for us, hope they work for you too. Good Luck
By Diane
My youngest was difficult. I ended up going to the dollar store and getting cheap little toys to wrap. I also got 2 small containers. I wrapped cars, a mini candy bar, stuff like that. If he went pee he got to unwrap one. If he had a bm he got to unwrap two. If he stayed clean all day he got to pick from the second bucket that had larger "prizes" This was the only thing that worked with him.
By cheryl
Buy or check out from the library a book called Toilet Training In Less Than A Day. In our family the technique worked for kids over 3 who were truly old enough to control themselves. I can't recommend it highly enough!
By KT
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