My mother made me her durable power of attorney about six months ago. I am also executor of the will and her advance medical directive. My mother has dementia and needs constant care. She has enough money to pay someone to come stay with her for a few months, but then her savings will be gone. My younger brother has been living with her for 14 years and has never paid for anything. He has paid no rent, nothing on utilities. All he has ever done was to cut the grass. He says he can no longer help take care of her. He is gone constantly. As my mother's POA can I have my brother be made to pay rent and help with the bills?
By Donald H
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You have a difficult situation and clearly need an attorney to answer your questions and start legal action to remove your brother from the home. It is clear that he is prepared to fight to continue to live in the home.
Off hand, I think he has zero rights to the house, or anything else. But, you need an attorney, and you need to be prepared to have a very nasty fight with your brother. I'm sure if he tells this story, he will be the aggrieved party, but the first priority here is your mom, and you are the one who must now decide how to look after her and her best interests.
You definitely need an attorney. Because your mothers money is in her home any nursing home will want you to sign the house over to them. Once that money is used up she will need to be put on Public Aid. So whatever home you place her in you will be better off by asking if they will keep her when she needs to be placed on public aid. Not all homes will do that so line up one that will continue to care for her under Public Aid. A lot of nursing homes won't keep her and then you will have to transfer her to another home that accepts Public Aid when that time comes.
Don't even think about trying to hide the house or the money from them because before she's approved for government assistance they will want to see her income tax returns for the past 5 yrs. Any money (house) she has given to her family will have to be returned to her for her care. That's another reason why you need a good lawyer.
Call your local Bar Assn. for a referral or ask your friends if they know of a good attorney the first consultation is usually free. I suggest that you talk to three lawyers before picking one.
Sorry to hear about your mother - good luck with this situation.
You certainly need legal advice as there are too many variables to be addressed.
You do not mention who the house goes to (will) but a nursing home will take the house no matter who is the "owner".
Your mother appears to need extra care right now and a live-in person may work but may be difficult to find - and keep - if you expect them to take care of the house (and the brother?).
As pointed out by another responder - be sure to check out several nursing homes before making any final decisions as many homes do not accept public (Medicaid) funds and a VERY large number do not accept patients with dementia/Alzheimers. This is usually a special type of facility so just ask what happens to my mother if she needs this type of specialized care.
The nursing home may place a "lien" on the home but may allow your brother to continue living in the home until it is sold to take care of the expenses incurred in your mother's care. However, they will probably not put out any money for maintenance/utilities etc.
All homes of this type are very expensive - usually running (in my area) 100 - 300 (and up) dollars a day plus any special items/medications/doctor visits etc.
At home care is also expensive but your decision should be based on what type of care your mother needs now and in the future.
I have had to make this type of decision and it is very difficult so maybe it would be good if you have someone to discuss this with that can assist you in finding the right solution.
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