My GF of 2 and a half yrs is moving in with me. It was a mutual decision based on us wanting to be together. We are 50 yrs old. She previously had an apartment for which she paid roughly a $1000 a month in rent plus all the utilities that go with an apt (gas, electric, cable, water). I own a home with a $1300 monthly mortgage.
By Bill
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I definitely think she should pay something in the way of "rent". If you want to be generous, you could make it a lot less than her previous rent, i.e. $400, $500. But if she balks at that, then I think you should think long and hard about this new arrangement, because unless you are inclined to basically support her (which seemingly is what she is expecting), then I doubt it will work out.
I moved in with my long-time BF (I am over 50) and in very short order I saw it was not going to work out (less than 2 weeks), I moved out and bought a house. We are still friends.
There are many things to consider in the question you ask. If you were just getting a roommate to share the house - like many students do, you would charge rent that would cover whatever you decided (utilities, mortgage, upkeep, etc.). When the roommate moved out, that would be the end of that arrangement. If the stove broke down, it would be your sole responsibility to replace or repair it. It would be your responsibility to see that the house was insured, and so on.
However, depending on where you live and the laws of your state, province or country, "moving in together" - ie, living common law, is an entirely different kettle of fish. Here in Saskatchewan, if a couple co-habits for two years, they are considered married for all purposes, especially for division of property should they then later separate. Your girlfriend does not think that she should contribute to the mortgage, when, if you should find that you do not suit, after a number of years, she would not have any claim on the property.
Here in Sask, she would have, and so I would say that she should contribute. However, things may be different where you live. You and she should investigate what the laws are. You may not want her to have any claim upon your house, if there is that option. There is a lot to consider. You both need to give the financial aspects of moving in together more thought and more discussion.
please help. I live in the uk. my partner of 8 yrs is not registered as living with me. he pays gas and electric £400 four times a year. I pay £140 per week for food. he still gives his mother rent of £150 plus month plus plus he paid for her to have a new aga cooker last month £2500.
If she was paying rent plus all the utilities before it can only be the fact that you are buying your house. May be she can pay all utilities if she won't pay towards the mortgage. If she won't do this I would suggest you re-think the decision to move in together.
If you are together for 10 years will she then be entitled to a share of your house if you split? Get this sorted before moving in together.
Hello - sure sounds like you and your girlfriend should have some long serious talks (before if possible) the move takes place.
I do not believe the present arrangement will ever "sit" right with you and that could cause many problems and unhappiness.
There is counseling available for this but it could be expensive. There are probably good reasons why you are not discussing marriage (financial reasons probably) but it does appear that your girlfriend thinks that she should not have to "help" you pay for your house.
Seems like she is getting the very best of this arrangement and does not feel it should be a "share and share alike" situation. Can you really settle for that?
It does appear that a 50-50 arrangement would be more agreeable (except for the mortgage) and certainly more fair. The mortgage could be set up on a 70-30 agreement and then both of you could realize some financial gain instead of her receiving all of the benefit.
I am a counselor and I really believe (from past cases) your present arrangement will go sour in short period of time.
First and foremost (since you own your home) you should find out about the co-habitation laws in your area as this (very much like marriage) is a very serious move. The laws may surprise you and may even take into account the entire time (or part of it) you have been "dating".
I wish you the best of luck but make sure that both of you sit down and put your pros and cons on paper - with financial figures on separate papers so that both know exactly what is happening here.
If she is not willing to pay 1/2 of both the rent and utilities (she still ends up saving lots and is in a house, not an apartment) then don't do it. Suppose you both rented a house for $1300 a month and split everything in half. What is the difference. Seems she wouldn't have a problem with that but she doesn't want to contribute to your home. Does she not realize that you made the sacrifice to save the down payment for the house and have been paying everything on your own. You should treat her financially just as you would any other roommate. If she doesn't like that deal, don't do it.
Have her split the utilities, but pitch in for groceries 50/50. I would have a problem contributing to a mortgage if my name was not on the deed also. And if you love each other, what's the big deal? I was able to contribute greatly to my families income during the past 25 years, I got sick and now I don't have much financial contribution. My husband loves me and does not care. It's not about the money. Don't nitpick, you might lose her.
if a persons home is paid off and someone moves in with them, the person moving in should pay something for a roof over their head. If they only pay half of the food and utility bills, then what does the homeowner get out of it? Its like...ok...move in and just pay any increase in utility bills and food. WOW! Who wouldnt want to be able to do that? Find someone with a mansion and go for it! I am recently divorced and own my on nice home and Ill be darned if a man moved in with me without paying ALL utilities and majority of food bill. He will also pay entirely for his transportation and any hobbies he indulges in. He would also buy his own clothing and personal toiletries. I would also not foot the bill for any of his children or medical bills. I supply the nice home. I buy some food. I buy my own clothing and personal toiletries. I supply my own transportation. I pay my own medical bills. He would not support my child...whatsoever. I would also pay my own hobby endeavors. I would not want Christmas or birthday...any presents. I dont want jewelry. I want a companion. I wont remarry. I have no problem doing most of chores inside home. I would like help with some outdoor chores. Financially, I would like help with say buying a new riding lawn mower when the need arose. My post may seem cold, but I tried to be direct and to keep things all about finances. If the person isnt affectionate or doesnt like affection....there would never be a first or second date, even! Women have the babies, work, do everything at home....the husband/boyfriend complains, eats, may work outside the home and always gets his way! When did society get down the wrong path?
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