I rent a home at $ 1,200 a month plus expenses of $220 or so for utilities, not including food, gas, etc. She has kids grown and not living with her. She moved in and for 4 months paid nothing, then asked what I expected. I looked at her salary, about 27 K, mine is 40K, and I asked for $400 plus 1/2 electric and water per month.
By JT
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Your friend has a nice set up and wants to keep it as is. Suggest you tell her now that you will:
***Make a very detailed spreadsheet for all monthly bills, expenses, insurance, rent, food, entertainment, etc., and separate some expenses, if needed.
If she still resists, then you will know what kind of person she is and if you want the relationship to continue. Stick to your guns or she will continue to use you as her benefactor.
HI, JT. I think Dinah's right in that your friend may be taking advantage, but you're also letting her. I'll err on the side of respect by saying you're likely very kind hearted. However, the facts remain that - regardless of her income - if she wants to live in the comfort of your home, she should help carry the cost. To the full extent of said costs. Half the rent, half the utilities. Does she buy her own food or do you subsidize that as well? If either of you think it's not fair that you earn so much more?
Naturally, if she's not amenable to paying her own freight or striving to get ahead, she's more than welcome to find another place to live, right?
Wishing you luck,
Rose Anne
It constantly amazes me that people ask for help in situations like this but rarely mention "love", companionship, expectations, or what they planned when they moved in together.
How long have you known this person?
How long did you date before this move was made?
Was there NO conversation about how expenses would be paid?
Did she think that she would cause no increase in your present expenses so why should she pay?
What was her cost of living before moving in with you?
Does she feel that she should just be able "pocket" all of her new found wealth?
There are a lot of questions that need to be answered before you should decide how to handle your present situation - most of them should have been answered before the move - but - here you are.
No matter how both of you plan to handle the future of this relationship: she should be paying her fair share of all expenses and I think you have been given good answers on how to handle/settle this.
Maybe you should let her read your questions/answers on Thrifty?
What does your girlfriend think is fair? It seems to me that she is getting a free ride, and wants to continue to do so. I think that the fair thing is to total up all of the expenses that you both have for joint things (groceries, rent, utilities, etc.). Things that are for your own use (say a gym membership, your clothes) or her own use (gas to drive to her job, new shoes) should be paid out of your own funds. You should pay the joint expenses on a percentage based on your incomes. I think you did not ask for nearly enough money.
Did she state she should pay less when she said unfair or not enough? If she was your wife would you expect the same? I gather you are getting "wifey" priveleges.
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