I'm needing help to find a support group or someone to talk to that is going thru the same thing that I am going thru at this time. I just lost my daughter (29) in April. She had just given birth a week earlier to a girl, and she left behind, 2 other girls ages 5 and 11 and a husband that is struggling.
I need someone to talk to/or write to that may be going thru something similar or who has gone thru it. I'm in desperate need.
Please anything that you can share with me would be deeply appreciated.
Thanks again readers.
By Teresa C. from VA
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Hi Teresa,
I found a few other grief organizations that are recommended by the New England Organ Bank:
Alive Alone: www.alivealone.org; an organization which benefits bereaved parents whose only child or all children are deceased.
Bereaved Parents of the USA: www.bereavedparentsusa.org; an organization that offers support, compassion, and hope to bereaved parents, grandparents, and siblings.
For your grandchildren:
The Douggy Center for Grieving Children: www.dougy.org; 866-775-5683
an organization which provides loving support in a safe place where children, teens, and young adults and their families grieving a death can share their experiences as they move through the healing process. They have a National Center for Grieving Children and Families, too.
"When a Parent Dies" advice from Hospice: www.hospicenet.org/
"Helping Children Cope with Grief and Loss": www.nasponline.org/
Mister Rogers Websitewww.misterrogers.org See booklet, Grieving for Children, for ages 4-10.
My heart goes out to you and your family. I hope you know a lot of people are thinking about you all. :)
I'm so sorry for your loss. There is a support group called Compassionate Friends that you might look into. They are geared to people in your situation. You might ask at your church or check with social service organizations in your area to see if there is a group where you are. My heart goes out to you, and I wish you well.
You can contact me if you want to at morganeastcoast@yahoo.com. My name is Linda and I lost my 34 yr old son very unexpectedly. It has been 11 years ago but of course i remember every detail.
Hi Teresa, I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family. I looked up grief counseling on Google, and found an article which reviewed online grief groups at associatedcontent.com. They said these were the best:
www.griefnet.org
www.groww.org
www.compassionatefriends.org (Also recommended by moseley3)
P.S. Also check with your local hospital, sometimes they have grief groups.
May they offer you some help and maybe some peace. All my best.
I'm so sorry for your loss especially of a child; grief hurts whether the child is 2 or 22! Check with your local churches for a support group entitled "GriefShare" or go online and check it out griefshare.org. I have gone to the GriefShare seminar for 4 sessions completing the course each time and the healing in my mind, body and spirit is phenomenal.
Hi. My name is Leisa Gould. I also lost a child. He was 20 . He passed May 31 2007 and it still feels so fresh. I have nightmares reliving his death, which happened at home.He was sick all his life. He had Cystic Fibrosis. Cystic fibrosis is a horrible disease and I'd love to talk to someone who has experienced the things that I have experienced.I would love to be able to talk to you.
Dear Teresa, I'm very very sorry for your loss. There's no words to say to make it better or to even ease the pain. I'm only 30 years old, but I have lost a child. The loss of a child is felt deeply and no one can make it better. We have to get through it on our own; though groups do help, like was said in another post. Hospitals have good ones. Just by typing in "support groups for the loss of a child" should get you some kind of help online.
I am not over the loss of my dear Emily. Thankfully, I'm blessed with my ten year old son, Jacob. He's my angel, but Emily is always near by my heart and some days are good and some are bad. One day at a time. We'll never fully get over the loss; you never do. We learn how to deal with it everyday.
I'm not religious. I'm more spiritual, but I believe in God and I truly believe your daughter is watching over you in heaven. One day you will all be together:) I didn't mean to get all religious, its just my beliefs.
You take care, and I hope God blesses you and yours. I hope you get the help you need. Once again I'm very sorry for your loss. Don't forget, I'm here to talk to you if you like, anytime!
Always
Nichole
aka
Nicki:)
I am so sorry for your loss. You might ask your doctor if he or she knows of a group (grief) your area. Or check with your local hospital they might have grief counseling. Please let us know how you're doing. There are people hear that care. God bless you and your family.
I asked my foster mom (before she passed away at 82, what was the hardest thing she had ever gone thru and without a pause she said, "the loss of my 2l year old son just the day after his lst baby was born." She went on to tell me that if she hadn't had God in her life she couldn't have done it. It is Christ that gives you the strength to get through it and live. Yes I said live. Live for the baby and husband and most of all for you.
It will take time and time will still never take away the hurt, it just gets livable with time. God has not forgotten you and you mustn't forget that even though what you feel and see seems to say something different.
Teresa, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine. :(
Along with the other helpful ideas, I would contact your personal physician and see if they can refer you to a therapist or group counseling that is covered by your insurance. I know lots of people who have received temporary support in this way.
All my best to you and your family.
May your daughter rest in peace. I am praying for you and your daughter's husband and family. May god give all you comfort and strength during this difficult times. Try to check call some hospitals as for a social worker to see if they can suggest any support group. I can feel your pain.
I do know what you are feeling, We are 69 years old and have six children, our daughter Donna was 45 and had five children, the youngest one 6 years old. We lost her on March 10, 2013 from cancer. Up to a month before she passed away we all had hope but never got it. She put up a great fight for over a year only to loose in the end. I can't seem to have a good day anymore, my head feels like it is going to explode.
I try to remember the good times but then the bad ones get in. I am just waiting for the day when I can be a little more normal again, but instead I am just waiting to be with her. I am so thankful for my big family that we can all grieve together, I hope you have that support too. Bless you and your family.
My name is Lily I've just lost my lovely daughter to breast cancer she was only 39 I can't cope without her I've got to try for my lovely son and 5grandchildren I miss her so much it hurts what can I do
Lily, I lost my beautiful daughter, 30 yrs. old, in July 2018. I too can't cope without her. We talked/texted everyday. The void is huge and devastating.
Someone started texting their daughters phone to have conversations. I might try that.
When reality is too intense, I have panic attacks. I have clonopin to help.
I have a supportive husband and girlfriends I lean on.
Lily, I lost my beautiful daughter to breast cancer, as well. She was 33 years old when she passed in March 2017. It still feels like yesterday and I still can't believe she's gone. I cry every day and I know you miss your daughter just as much as I miss mine. I feel such emptiness, lonliness, and so much pain. I don't feel I have any support so I grieve to myself everyday. My family thinks I'm fine & have gotten over it, but they don't understand that you will never get over the loss of your child. Part of me died with her that day and I have never been the same and never will be. I have 3 other teenagers at home so I try my best to be here for them. I promised my daughter that I would be ok if she died, but I never imagined that it was possible to suffer this much. However, I never lost hope that she would beat breast cancer all the way up til the day she died. I just don't understand why she died so young with so much life left. I feel guilty for being here and she's gone. I was diagnosed with breast cancer, ad well in December 2009, but I survived it, as it was caught early, but she was already a stage iv. I remember how she was right there by my side when I went through that ordeal. I would've never believed that 4 years later, she would be diagnosed with breast cancer, as well. I went through genetic testing when I was diagnosed and tested negative for brca1 and 2 so I didn't think my daughter would be at risk. However, she tested positive for the brca1 gene do that means she inherited the gene from her father. I miss her so much and my only hope is that we will be together again one day. You will see your daughter again one day too. If you ever feel like you need someone to talk to you can email me at mtcalm223@yahoo.com . I'm so sorry for your great loss and I wish you well. It will not be easy for either of us, but we have to try to reflect on the sweet memories of them.
Glenda
I am so sorry for your loss. I just sent a very long response to one of the other ladies who recently lost her daughter. I have a very hard time coping each and every day. It's been a year and a half since I lost my beautiful daughter, but it still feels like it just happened. I sometimes experience panic attacks, as well. My doctor prescribed clonazepam which I think is a generic for clonipin, but I try not to take it too often. I was texting my daughter's cell phone for months after she died & it really did help me, but then I was so saddened when I realized someone else had her number. I can't explain how I felt to actually get a reply back from her cell phone. For me the pain is so great at times that I feel I just can't go on, but then I think of my other children that need me and I know Dionne wouldn't want me to live in a world of sadness & pain, but it's just so hard to face life every day without her knowing that she's not coming back. My only consolation is that I will see her again one day and you will see your precious daughter again, as well.
I lost my son in August due to stage 4 cancer. People already act as if I should be over it. A lot of tension with my husband and I am very sensitive and feel fear and anxiety most days. My son left behind a wife and 10 yo daughter. They dont want to talk about him. Kathy Unger
I lost my 32 year old daughter about 5 years ago she was a bad diabetic she had twins I had to raise and if that was not enough to push me over the edge. My son gotss RSS a A
Hi I lost my son 38 at time of his death. Its been 6 yrs but still stay in bed most rhe time. Call or email anyone wanting to talk. Vadasue77@gmail.com. (513) 484 2824. If I dont answer leave message
Hello, so sorry for your loss and pain. We loss our oldest son on 11/2, he was 25. The pain has been like nothing I have ever felt. It is only the love of my other 4 children that keeps me going. I plan on attending a support grief tomorrow night. I don't know if this will help but I have to give it a shot.
My best friend lost her son in October, the same week as my son was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He is still alive, but losing ground daily and is so much pain. I know I will lose him soon, but I am still trying to get my friend. What can you Tell me about the support group? Kathy
Lost my son at35 2 weeks ago.the despair is horrible.my only child ,a father and husband .heard it all ,so depressed what do u do ,don
Reading through everyone's pain makes me feel not quite so alone. I too lost my only child, my son entered the hospital at 39, had his 40th birthday in the hospital and passed 1 month later. I thank god that I had a feeling something was wrong with him . I had been working out of state and just felt I needed to see my son. We talked daily but something was off. I took a week vacation and headed home. Ended up staying 2 and a half months with him in the hospital. I'm so afraid this pain will never go away. I too cry daily. I have no one that understands. I'm empty, my chest hurts s ok bad sometimes that I can hardly breathe. Why my only child? He has an awesome father, husband, son and friend. It makes no sense. A mother should not have to loose a child.
Reading through everyone's pain makes me feel not quite so alone. I too lost my only child not quite 2 months ago, my son entered the hospital at 39, had his 40th birthday in the hospital and passed 1 month later. I thank god that I had a feeling something was wrong with him . I had been working out of state and just felt I needed to see my son. We talked daily but something was off. I took a week vacation and headed home. Ended up staying 2 and a half months with him in the hospital. I thank God that I had those 2 months with him, hard as they were, we were together. I'm so afraid this pain will never go away. I too cry daily. I have no one that understands. I'm empty, my chest hurts so bad sometimes that I can hardly breathe. Why my only child? He was an awesome father, husband, son and friend. It makes no sense. A mother should not have to loose a child.
I lost my son Bobby July 14th my heart is crushed all I want to do is go and be with him.my heart is hurting so bad I never knew pain could be this bad i pray every minute of the day I think god has forsaken me or he just to busy.i am barely hanging on to life please I need your prayers Lois Belt
Six years for my son this weekend. Seems like it just happened. Having a very difficult time. He couldn't take this world anymore after the murder of his 3 year old son. There are days I just want to die also so that I may see them again in heaven.
I also lost my 43 years son on Jan/21st of this year, I SO MUCH miss his morning text and nightly calls, he called me from his girlfriend fathers house to ask for his dauthers hand and I suppose to go there for his engagement following week, next day I heard from police that he was deciced in an accident I had to go there for his body rather than engagement. I am lost, angry, devastated and cant get him at of mind every second of every day, I can feel your pain and broken heart.SO MANY WHYS???
I too lost my 46 year old son, 2/14/19. I cry everyday. One minute he was getting ready for work the next he was on the floor, not breathing. One hour after his heart stopped they put him on life support. I was in another state and they would not get on the phone with me. No he was not a registered donor. In Ohio that did not make a difference. They were hoping that when I got there, I would sign to donate his organs. I did, they pronounced him dead and keep the life support on him til they could place his organs. He gave 5 miracles that day. I will never understand why he is gone and I am still here. I am so sorry to know there are many people that feel the same pain I feel. I would be happy to talk to anyone that need to talk. Nancy
I'm sorry for your loss. I too lost my 48 year old daughter to breast cancer on 12/05/2018. She left behind a 3 y/o son. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm having a nervous breakdown. The heartache and tears won't stop. I'm reaching out today for support and I came across your post.
I lost my oldest son in March of 2016. He had a kidney transplant in 2002 and was doing fine with it. But in 2015 he became very ill and his right side of his face swelled up. We found out he had lymphoma as the result of his donor having the ebstien virus. A lot of people have it, but because they have a normal immunion system, but a transplants immune system is weak. The first treatment of chemo did not work to take the swelling down from the inlarged lymph node. He went through radiation which was very hard on him. They tried many different chemistry that would work for a while then stop. I had him for nine more months. He passed away four days before his 49th Birthday. I went to a grief group for the loss of adult children for awhile, but my only other child lived over 200 miles away. I had lost my husband in 1997 and had no one in my immediate family near. I moved close to my younger son and grandkids. That meant leaving a home I had lived in for 40 years. Being close to my younger son, daughter-in-law and grandkids has helped. But the hurt and pain is still there. I'm going to a therapist. Hope you can find someone close to talk to and always remember God hears you in your pain. Talk to Him.
That's a lot to go through. I'm very sorry for your loss and her husband as struggling to take care of the baby and the kids. The best thing to do is to read the Bible, especially Psalms every day absolutely. Pray to God for His Love, mercy, comfort and peace. Praise Him and thank Him. Cry as much as you need to. May God bless you always!
Hi Teresa, I am sorry for your lost. I to need someone to talk to. I lost mt 46 year old son in a matter of seconds. Nancy
We just recently lost our son on May 19th I am thinking of starting a support group at our church , Im finding people dont know how to talk with parents that have lost their child adult or other wise . Firstly someone who has not lost a child cannot know the pain involved ,my heart goes out to you and I know what you are feeling ,I will pray for you .prayer helps
Hi Teresa. I just came across this. I was looking for a grievance group for parents that have lost a child. I'm in Oregon. Our 30 year old son passed away 3/30/19 and I haven't even had time to grieve or get into counseling. My son had 5 children and 1 of them is only 18 months old. The 12 year old is taking it the hardest. I hope you've found the counseling for the husband and children along with yourself. Sending love and prayers. My pastor offered help to us.
I also lost my daughter (37) in April. There is so much more I wish I could have said to her. She was in Arizona and I did not make it there in time to see her before she passed and to tell her I love her. Life will never be the same. I miss her more and more every day.
I lost my oldest daughter in a side by side accident 7-9/22 she left behind 4 little girls. Her youngest had just turned 1 on the 3rd of july. We set together an watched the city fireworks show then she hugged me an said 'thanks mom ,I love you' it was the last time I would see her alive. We had our differences, but no matter what when she needed me , I was always there. I tried!! She suffered from bipolar disorder. She hated the way the medication made her feel so she would take them for a little bit then just quit.leaving her depressed, anxious, moody , angry nothing was was good enough an it was everyone's fault. She would withhold her children from us or beg me to help her to love an want or forgive her. I wanted so badly to help her to prove my love a support to have a relationship she trusted.I failed!!! I'm lost I miss her so much .I've done everything in my power to insure her children are cared for an have what they need.but nothing has helped me personally cope with her loss. So much of me died that day an I don't know how to move forward or even who I am anymore. I need help an don't know where to start. Please someone help me.
Sincerely
Kimberly
To Every Parent of a Deceased Child: My daughter and son in law have been gone for 3 years January 30th. A man speeding down the interstate on the wrong side of the road hit them head on. They had three children. They were 18, 16 and 9. Their family was their life as I'm sure your children's were. No one got to tell them good bye or hold their hands as they died in their mangled car. It took the jaws of life to get them out of their car. My daughter had asked me if anything ever happened to her to take care of her children and I am, but I'm sure not as well as they would have. Everyday is unbearable. I also have a husband that thinks I should be over it and friends that say ,"I've lost a loved one before, i know how you feel." No they don't ,unless you've buried your child you don't know how I feel! These children lost both of their parents. Their complete lives were destroyed. No one was left for them but me and I'm a poor substitute for their parents. They put up a much stronger front than I can. I miss them both so much but I am ashamed to say I do grieve for my daughter more. Everyday is a burden, something to just get through. I have had a heart attack, now have high blood pressure, developed cardiac issues. I have been going to a therapist for a long while. Either the therapist isn't very good or I can't be helped. I'm hoping talking to people with the same horrific loss may help. I read that several parents here have expressed that God is a big help to them. I am angry with God. My Christian upbringing taught me that all things come through God. He controls the world. I'm mad that He let my daughter and son in law be killed. He could have stopped it, let them live. My grandchildren could have at least one parent. I know that the RIGHT thing is to be reverent and accept the unacceptable, but I can't. Their death was senseless. God could have stopped that car, stopped that man. I am writing this and I realize that God could have stopped all our children's death, not just mine. I don't believe my daughter and son in law are more deserving than your child. I don't know how to get better, how to hurt less, how to find joy. It doesn't seem possible.
I can sympathize with you about the loss of your daughter and son in law. I do want to say I CAN understand. I lost my daughter to non-Hodgkins Lymphoma on 1/21/2008 her son was only 13 years old and has ADHD. She was his sole parent there was no husband, and I was the only person left to raise her son. I go through everyday wishing that she was here to watch her son grow up. She would have be 43 this past Monday, on May 18 and I wish she could see her son as a young man now.
I go through days looking at her ashes wishing she were alive. They say it gets easier as the days and years pass. But, many days like you I see her or someone who looked like her and think she is still alive. Her son is still angry that she is gone and that he never got the mother that he needs. Therefore, that make me angry that he is hurt.
I would give anything to have taken her place, but it did not happen that way.
I live through my days pretending that I am fine and nothing is out of place. Antoni (my daughter) died taking my heart and sometimes I think my soul when she died. I miss her just as much as I am a mother to my grandson, who misses her more.
Grief to me is the depression that I hide behind with a mask of happiness that is as false as to when my tears fall during sleep.
I feel that we each will deal with the death of our children in our own way and talking about our grief will help us from going down the rabbit hole.
Kelvin Chin does great work with individuals on a case by case basis or speaking to private groups when invited (he travels all over).
He has been doing this type of work for over 46 years.
You can contact him at Kelvin@TurningWithin.org, and an easy website is KelvinChin.org, or call 202-870-9999.
He has a book (more are in the making to be released) and an audio and kindle version on Amazon.com & Audible.com just search Kelvin Chin.
Teresa, I just lost my son on the 6th of may he was only 39. I just dont know how Im suppose to get thru this. He is my only child. I honestly feel like Im dying inside
Hi Teresa I feel your pain I lost my son 9 years ago I think its something you never get over you just learn to live with it from one day to the next I did go through 3 years of counseling maybe it helped just to have someone to talk to but the pain will always be their some people deal with it better than some others do, I pray a lot but I also know that my son would not want me to be this unhappy he was 29 my baby, and this may sound crazy but, you take a horrible tragedy and make something positive out of it, you make the best of everyday you may think this is impossible but its not you can help someone else by telling your story my son was addicted to drugs and after several years he was clean then died in a house fire but talking about all your good memories is how we keep them alive within our hearts, some people say that our love ones in heaven only see good and happy things that happen in our lives I dont know how true that is and I dont understand everything in the Bible but I want my son to see happy things, when I see a red bird or a feather I say I love you Shon it makes me smile a little you have a bless day and keep moving forward thats what our loved one in heaven wants to see if you want to talk anytime my email is sonntimms @ Gmail.com or get me on Facebook Sonnya Timmon know that you are loved
Hi Teresa
I am sorry for your loss. I know how you are feeling lost, hurt, empty that is just some of the things I feel. I lost my adult son and now I got his son. If you would like to share stories I am willing to listen. Just email me. Theresa
I dont remember my original comment ( perhaps it was my husband). I know that NEVER in my life have I felt such anguish and pain. Im praying constantly for God to help me. Hes the only one who can. God bless you and keep you too.
I lost my daughter on August 28th, 2021 due to Covid, she left behind a husband and 4 children, I understand what you are going through, I am really struggling to make sense of all this, if you would like to talk write back, I'm sorry for your loss
I am going thur something similar I lost my daughter (34) to cancer and she left 3 daughters & her husband
I am sorry you have to go thur this its definitely the worst
I lost my baby 8 months ago and Im finding it hard to be happy again. He was only 5 weeks old, I started doing frogs jist to cope because I have no one
I am so sorry for your loss. It is unimaginable to me but I know a lot of new mothers have to deal with the same. Don't forget that you were dealing with being postpartum at the same time and that can be difficult in the best of circumstances.
I would really try to see a therapist or find a group of people who are coping with a similar situation. I hope the holidays can bring you a little joy to build on as we go into the New Year.
Hey, if you want to talk and share with you how I'm coping feel free to contact me. It's my second year since my son passed email me and will give u my number
My dear, sweet sisters. I have read each and every one of your personal stories of pain and loss. My 26 year old daughter died as a result of an accident on October 15, 2021. My world turned inside out, like all of you, I cried and cried. April makes six months, a life time for me. I am sure you all have that same feeling.
I do have my faith and could not be walking thru this without God. For me, I view her passing as a higher, most divine task she had on this earth to teach and make an impression on all people she came across in this life. I too still text her daily, as was our routine, and I talk to her constantly.
For me, to heal, I view my journey here as a way to make my child proud of me. Each and every day I try to practice more love, kindness and compassion because that is what shed want me to do. For people who say I know how you feel because I lost someone important to me, its not like losing a child and everyone here knows, but I try to remember that they are trying to express compassion to the best of their abilities, and I accept all acts of kindness.
I am sending a virtual hug to each and every one of you. Be kind to yourselves, the other survivors who loved your child and make your child proud of you.
Hello,
There is an incredible organization called TAPS. They have a hotline 24/7 for those who are grieving the loss of a child, spouse, relative or friend. They also have grieving programs for adults and children.
I lost my 24 year old daughter this past April 10.She had been struggling drugs for the past 2 years.I found her n still have the horrible image in my head.Some days I find it difficult to breath.
Hello I'm so sorry for your loss of your daughter. My condolences to you. I lost my only adult son age 32 January 14, 2023 and l feel your pain. I cry every other morning and night. He also died of a overdose, only they found him in a McDonald's bathroom dead. I miss him SOOOOOO terribly bad. I hope the loss of my only adult son will get better with time. Because I feel alone and my heart feels empty, like some one took my heart out of me when I found out that my son passed away.
I lost my son a decade and 2 months ago. Then his sister joined him 4 years later. That 1st year with my son who shall remain forever 28. I literally stayed drunk n listen to music and beat the floor. Even now I have good days but also bad ones you will never get over it are even understand it. Time helps a little but you'll go back and forth.
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