Does it seem your son or daughter always "needs" (or wants) money? One way to save YOUR money is to help your preteen/teen develop a small business. Your son or daughter will learn the life skills of work, responsibility, and accountability. He/she will experience the pros and cons of independent business ownership/management, learning self-reliance and customer service. Recognizing the value of money and making better purchase decisions can result.
As a single mom of 4 I got checking and saving accts for each of the kids at an early age. Their $15 / month allowance went into the checking account and birthday, holiday $ went into the savings acct. They tithed 10% to the church from their earnings--we all worked together for the good of the family and were all entitled to have allowance for working together.
Every Friday we did Friday Jobs which rotated weekly: 1) dust, vacuum kitchen, laundry room, dust and vacuum their room; 2) dust and vacuum the living room, hall bathroom, and their own room; 3) "Blue Juice" --the youngest's name for windex! --all the mirrors, glass doors, tv screeens,etc., their room, ; 4) Kitchen Helper--set table, clear dishes and load/unload dishwasher daily., and spot clean tile floors.
Extra jobs--yard work, polishing silver, etc. could earn extra $, as well as babysitting, and part time jobs at age 16.
The little ones got strange looks at Christmas time when they wrote checks at Walmart and had no ID--my license worked fine! They grew up knowing how to balance a checking account, never bouncing, being very responsible. They got a credit card to take to college, which they then build credit in their own names.
The 25 yr old was 9 when I started this, the baby is now 16 and they all are very savy with money!
Here are the questions asked by community members. Read on to see the answers provided by the ThriftyFun community.
Do you think a child is too young to start going to the movies alone or anywhere alone at age 12 and a half in 7th grade? Should I wait till she gets older?
Personally, I think 12 is too young to go out by themselves, especially if your daughter is on the petite size. At 12, is she still small enough to be picked up and carried off?
Is she going with friends, or all by herself? We allow my 12 year old daughter to go to the movies with her girlfriends, but only to the theaters that are not attached to a mall and one parent drops off and the other is waiting to pick up when they get out. I would not let her loose at the mall! I trust my daughter and I believe she has been lectured enough to know what to look out for.
ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!
With that said ---
We have to, as parents, consider the maturity level of our children and their knowledge of how the REAL world works. I don't even allow my 15 y/o to go anywhere alone. Most children this age are not good judges of character in their "friends" let alone strangers that prey on children.
I am with you,I am a Grandma and and in this day and age,I wouldn't let a 16 year go out unless they were with someone ,it only takes a minute for something to happen and the rest of your life to regret it.
There is no way I would let my 12yr old daughter go places alone in this day and age. Let kids be kids for as long as possible. Going somewhere in a semi-supervised group is a different story. For instance, a group of girls go with one mom to the mall and go off by themselves for awhile.
My daughter just turned 13 and the only place I let her go alone is the dollar theater. BUT, that's with a group of peers. I drop her off right before the movie and then pick her up right afterwards. She has a cell phone and is very responsible or I wouldn't let her do this. I think being a smart parent involves teaching your kids about different scenarios. I mean, you could be at Wal-Mart, your 12 year old could run to the bathroom, be out of your sight for 5 minutes and just vanish. Teach her to be smart and go over different dangerous scenarios with her. Like, my daughter knows that she is NEVER to leave a store without me. She isn't to go looking for me in the car because I will NEVER leave the store without her. She knows how to go to the front and ask for my name to be called over the loud speaker. Just stuff like that. But erring on the side of caution is always best. :)
No, I don't think a 12 yr old girl...or boy for that matter should be out somewhere alone....just my personal opinion based on the way the world is today. It's just not safe!
I am certainly glad that I am NOT the only one to say Absolutely NOT.
I was thinking I would be alone, due to my age!! I am 62 and raising my grand daughter who is now 11.
She will NOT be "malling" or driving or running around in packs with her peers. It is just too dangerous and too tempting for getting into trouble. And never mind "but, I trust, her"-
teens are NOT CAPABLE of seeing down the road...it is all about the pleasure of the moment.
YES,...12 IS TOO YOUNG, AS WELL AS 13, 14, 15, 16 possibilly 17
Unless an adult is with her she should not go out alone..To many things could happen..When my Daughter was that age I went with her and her friends to movies or anywhere else they wanted to go.
Well I think it all depends on maturity. Although age could be something to look out for, maturity is a big key and so is trust. My husband and I decided that we'd see what happen if we let our daughter go and just show up early, to see what's going on. Its a old trick in the book although its might be embarrising to the kids you can get a taste of the enviroment your children are in. I also consider the fact that every child needs to grow up and I just started letting my 14 year old son and 12 year old daughter go together.
NO!
It is really an individual thing depending on where you live and how responsible your daughter is. When I was young, I walked to school by myself from a very early age (6). It's always better though at any age when she can go with another person.
Susan from ThriftyFun
Everyone here has made some very good points. I say NO, SHE'S TO YOUNG!!!
When I was twelve years old, riding my bike in my own residential neighborhood in the middle of the afternoon, a man hiding between two parked cars exposed himself to me. I was terrified and couldn't get home fast enough. Even at that time, I was so thankful that he didn't come out from between those two cars and grab me. So, I would have to say that, no, a twelve year old is not old enough to go places alone. It has nothing to do with how mature they are, nothing to do with how safe you think your neighborhood is; it has everything to do with how unsafe the world is. Safety in numbers, as the old saying goes. Don't let your children go anywhere alone.
I will first say that I do not have any children yet, but I can give you the point of view of a younger person. I'm 25. I was allowed to ride my bike in the neighborhood or walk to the corner store by myself at this age. I was able to go to the mall or movies with friends. I was always mature for my age. I'm an only child that grew up in the company of adults. I appreciate that my parents gave me some freedom, but still kept a watchful eye. If they would have continued holding my hand well into high school like some of you have suggested, I never would have learned independence. I also feel that children should be taught to be safe, but work to find a balance. You don't want them to be paranoid and think that everyone and everything is "out to get them".
I agree with Erin. I have had some friends whose "mommies" have held their "hand" up until 9,10,11, 12th grade, and they don't know what to do know. They have always had someone there and now that they are alone they can't function at 100% because they don't know how to behave. I'm 19, but was allowed to roam Wal-Mart and the like around 12-14..,while my parents where in the store.don't remember exactly when. My sister on the other hand had to wait a few years because she was not mature enough or emotionally stable enough to go on her "own". If I remember correctly, not long after I was alloweded to start roaming, we got cell phones to stay in touch.
My son was allowed to go to movies ,amusement parks and malls with other then family members around 12 years old. He OD'd 9 days before his 21st birthday. Your child you can trust most times. It is who he or she comes in contact with when they are out on their own.
It wound be far better the 12 to 16 years olds go out in some kind of youth club functions.
Parents you might want to think of possability of getting together with other neighbors and friends to start such clubs. I mean you already have Black Homes
What I am talking about takes Love , Caring and little Time .
Please Try and do something.
Happy Holidays
Mr. Thrifty
I have a friend that says to her children,"your body is mine until you turn 18" that's how I feel about my kids, Supervision is the key!
I didn't see the feedback by azDana before I started to respond, but I COMPLETELY agree!! They're still children at 12. Even though the public is more dangerous than the private, how comfortable would you feel about leaving her alone in the house should you ever decide to go for a long night out? If you're cautious about that, think about her in the public alone. Does that bring about a sense of peace and well-being when you think about it?
I was allowed to go to the movies with my best friend when I was 12 and in 7th grade. Usually, one of us would ask our parents if it was ok, then call the other one. Then, before hanging up the phone, we both passed the phone to our moms and they chatted and arranged transportation. Our parents got to know each other after we became friends at school and I think that helped them feel better about who their kids were hanging out with.
I agree with the two younger people (I am 24) that mention at some point you do have to stop holding kids' hands. My mom sheltered me a lot and did a lot for me and I still have a trouble in social situations even now. I was always a good kid and my parents didn't have any reason not to trust me, but they didn't trust the rest of the world and that kind of hindered me in learning to function in it. But I think the way they assisted in arranging my social life in 7th grade was healthy.
I think if your child is responsible and you trust them at age 12 then they should be able to go to the movie by themselves. If they have something that they could reach you with if they need you then i would say, what the heck (:_*
My daughter really likes this boy. She's 11, as is the boy. I heard a few days ago from the boy's mom that the 2 are a 'couple'. What do I do?
Well, hopefully you and your daughter talk to each other about everyday, mundane things as well as all the "necessary" stuff- such as, "Don't forget to start on that school project soon", etc. .At 11 years old, she may still seek your input and approval. I hope that this is the case.
Something similar happened with my son at that age, but a few easy conversations with him helped to end my worries , AND helped him think about-and sort out for himself-what " dating" meant for him and his schoolmates.
This is more or less how the convo went:
Me: So, how are things going with Sylvia?
Him: Oh, pretty good. She's nice. And she likes me a lot.
Me: Well, yeah, if she is your girlfriend, she must like you the best. And you like her more than all the other girls in class?
Him: Yeah. (Hesitates) But, she gets upset when I spend time talking to Joey during lunch.
Me: Why's that?
Him: She wants me to spend time with her instead.
Me: ha-ha. That doesn't change much as you get older, I'm afraid.
At that point I had the opportunity to ask him , what, exactly could they do, that would be boyfriend-girlfriend kinds of stuff. And I began with, well there can't be any kissing or hugging really, because that is not allowed in school.Plus, her parents definitely would not like it and he might have to answer to angry parents . And there's a little time to talk during lunch and after school, but not very much time- especially if he wanted to also talk with his friends, which he did. And when older people date, they sometimes go out to dinner or to a movie or bowling , but that requires money and permission, rides,etc. You could talk on the phone, probably. (This was before everybody had cellphones). And my son thought about all this. Basically, his "relationship" was just letting everyone know that they liked each other best.
Probably a week or so later, my son told me that they had broken up.
Talk to your daughter, try not to criticize or belittle, discuss what it means, and let her figure it out. If it sounds like the boy is being improper with her, discuss that with her too. How she feels , and that she ALWAYS knows that Nobody should ever make her feel she " ought to" if she does not want to. Emphasize that rule ALWAYS applies, and if she needs help getting out of an uncomfortable spot(or relationship) she should let you know, and you will help her immediately.
Sorry for the length, but it's an important topic.
I have a 10 year old daughter who is starting to have a fresh mouth. I have tried punishing her and taking away privileges but nothing seems to be working. My babysitter is starting to complain. I am afraid I might lose her. What should I do?
I've learned this from a local mother, vinegar. My daughter is 7 and getting quite the grumpy fresh mouth. I finally did a drop on her tongue, she was quite pleasant for a while. Sometimes the mother said she just places the vinegar on the counter, that whips them into shape. But honestly, I am going to fill a tiny little spray bottle I didn't use for my vacation and let her know that I'll have it with me at all times. I think it will make her think twice before she smart mouths or is fresh. It doesn't harm them, it's not torturing them, it's basically teaching them what they say is sour and doesn't "taste" good.
Maybe your daughter doesn't like it any more than you do and together you could come up with a solution. Ask her what she would do with a daughter who had a "fresh" mouth. She may have a good suggestion on how to encourage herself to stop. Mention the vinegar spray as a possibiity. If you work TOGETHER if will be less adversarial, and that will help her take more responsibility.
I am raising my grand daughter and this season she is into Jr. sizes. I have looked and looked and CANNOT find a decent bathing suit in her size! I know it is early in the season, however, none of the places I have looked even showed a one-piece suit and all the two pieces are too skimpy for an 11 year old. What is a person to do with a child who wears an "adult" size but is still very young?
My daughter is starting to wear jr. sizes too. We shop thrift stores, you can sometimes find modest suits that are still in style. I also have some friends who buy bathing suit patterns at fabric stores, then let their kids pick out the fabric. I've heard they're not too hard to make. Hope that helps!
LL Bean has some awesome one-piece suits for pretty good prices. I've always liked Speedo, too. You can go to SpeedoUSA.com. Hope that helps!
Hi Bonnie, I've found my 9 yr old daughter some nice suits at Garage sales. LL Bean or Land's End might have some. I would just look online but you said you are not comfortable with that.
I don't know if you have any Ross Stores near you, but I saw Speedos there for $8.00. Also check out stores that carry "Girls Plus" sizes. Many of them are junior sized(especially the14.5-20), they just call them plus. Here's one from Sears.com www.sears.com/
I saw some nice one piece Speedo bathing suits at COSTCO for around $29.
Hi, I found these at JCPenneys, look at the one on bottom right , real nice, stylish and modest at the same time. Its 19.99.
www4.jcpenney.com/
I just bought a nice two piece but respectable (looks like a 1 piece, I was very heavy once so I would not wear a tummy bearing 2 piece!) at Costco for 21.99, try there. They also have 1 piece Speedos there, I buy my daughter 2 or 3 speedos there a year (we have a pool and the chlorine is wicked!).
Go with a tankini suit which is stylish and not too revealing. And if you order something from Land's End, you can return anything, for any reason!
Thanks so much for all the tips. I actually found nice decent coverage one-piece Catalina's at Wal-Mart for $14...I got two. A size 4/6 Jr. fit her really nicely! We also have a pool and need at least two suits per year.
I had forgotten about Costco and their suits. She needs a suit with a good support across the back, so it stays in place for swim lessons and such...she actually SWIMS and does not just lounge around and so many of the suits will "fall down" and go up and fall from the shoulders. I think I will be able to handle the swimming suit issue now. Thanks.
OH..PS, I sew and have been sewing for 10+ years now, I even have a serger...but I would not want to take on a bathing suit...first, look at the price of the bathing suit material...and the year I really was going to try it...they had no designs that she liked.
So, it would have to be someone braver than I to try that!!!.
Thanks again
You have received a lot of great suggestions and I'm sure your granddaughter might not be so happy that she can't have a bikini or something like what her friends have but good for you! I'm only 29 but constantly appaled at what young pre-teen girls are wearing and the parents think its cute.
I'm 11 too and i've started to wear jr sizes too, my mom hates all the ones i pick out because she thinks im too young. Try limited too, they may be really glitzy but they actually have some nice stuff that covers a girls body and its not too grown up either... try it out!
Jr. size clothes are almost always too skimpy or sexy. Try the misses [regular ladies size] dept. for bathing suits. Most Jr sizes have an equivalent ladies size. Many stores have small and extra-small sizes. Walmart is great for reasonable prices and a good selection.
try looking at Old Navy or Old Navy.com. I just was looking at some swim suits for my 13year old that was leaving for camp where they could not wear skimpy swimsuits. I found this cute and adorable one piece that was not expensive.
"im in high school so i wear jr. sizes too but i have always prefered to wear tankinis over bikinis because in my opinion they look better and its just not right for little girls to be wearing bikinis and they are still technically 2 pieces but a lot more modest"
My daughter really likes this boy and they are in the same class and he asked her if she wanted to date him. She asked me and I don't know if I should let her; she is 11.
My twelve year old daughter wants to invite a boy from school she likes and that likes her to the movies with us on Friday. Her dad said no! maybe next year. My daughter says it's not a date and why don't we trust her. I need advice please.
By Yolanda H
Many parents are concerned when their 13 year old wants to have a boyfriend. Going out can mean different things at different ages. While 13 may be too young for unsupervised dating, there may be alternatives that are acceptable to both parents and teens. This is a page about, "Is 13 too young to have a boyfriend?".
