I am afraid to ask my mom to shave but i hate my legs I have tried to bring up the subject but I keep chickening out. Please help me.
Whitney
I decided to ask my mom early this morning... She said it hadn't even crossed her mind about me possibly shaving(even though I'm 12) she then said she would buy me a razor then teach me how..(though we've had the talk already) and I will have to shower then tomorrow morning I will begin shaving.. So don't worry at all it will feel great for her to know and to get it off your back
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I am a hairy girl and I've noticed that I am the only girl in my grade that is hairy. I have asked my mum to let me shave, or even just use creams. When I ask her to shave she always tells me that I shouldn't because the hair will get darker. So, I ask about creams, and she says that she will buy me some things, but she never does.
She always says "another time," or something like that. I want to shave so I look pretty, but she never lets me. How should I tell her that I want to shave?It is a myth that if you shave your hair will be darker. There are lot of alternatives to shaving, but if you're underage you should speak to your mom. You could tell her your insecurities and have her help you during this time.
She may be concerned that you will cut yourself. Suggest a depilatory and see what she says
In life the rule of thumb is honesty is the best answer. You should sit your mum down when everything is quiet and there is no one else around and explain to her why you want to remove your unwanted hair.
So I'm going on to grade 9 and I want to shave my legs. It is summer and all my friends are wearing their shorts and I'm afraid to wear my shorts around them so I wear them when my friends are not around. I really want to ask my mom if I can shave my legs, but I'm scared. I've asked her about it a couple of years ago and I think she said I can do it when I want.
But I'm scared to ask her now. She isn't struck and I really don't think she would get mad at me, but I don't know, I don't know how to ask her or tell her I want to. Even me grandmother said, "you soon need to start shaving your legs'. I said, "I know", but that's all there was to it. I was thinking now I know my legs are bad.So can someone please tell me how I can tell my mom. I'm afraid to come right out and say it so I don't know if there's a way I can ask/tell her without really saying it. And going to the store and looking at the razors and bringing it up isn't going to work. Because I would find it very awkward. Help me!
By K.D.M
Right now it's winter so I really don't need to shave. I'm a diver, and no one really stares at my legs. When I have gym at school, I have to wear shorts. I see some people looking at my legs when I'm sitting on the floor. I really want to shave. My parents are fine with it. I'm afraid that once I start shaving, I will be committed for life because of the stubble. Once I shave, the fine point of the hair will be gone, and it will look thicker and darker since the razor is cutting the hair into a blunt edge. So, if I shave does that mean that I'm going to have to shave forever? Or would I be better off not shaving? I already bought a razor and shaving cream.
By W.W.
I am 61 years old, and I have shaved my legs for years. Should I quit for awhile, the hair grows back, pretty much the same as it did before. Shaving will not change your hair. Think about men's beards. Do they change when they shave them and then let them grow, and then shave them again? No, of course not.
Once you have shaved your legs, if you run the razor over your legs daily, you will never have stubble. I do this, and it takes about a minute to keep this up, daily, after I shower. I do not use a shaving cream to do this.
What is the average age for a girl to start shaving?
Kittyclaw from Hendersonville, TN
I don't know what the "average" age is, but my daughter is 9 and just came to me and asked. First I asked her if she was talking about her underarms, her legs or both. She told me just her underarms.
My little sister is nine and she started shaving her legs last week. It seems young to me (I'm 27, I don't remember when I started. 13, maybe?) but the hair was rubbing on her sheets and clothes and bothering her. She seems to have a lot of hair. She's pretty fuzzy. I hate to say it, but even on a very young girl, the amount of hair she had looked a little strange. I think when it starts to look odd that they have the amount of hair that they have is when they should start shaving, especially if they are aware of how it looks. If they start asking about it because they're just curious and a little excited about the prospect of growing up, that's one thing. I think I started "asking" when I was 7 or 8, too. But when they start to worry about it and they really ask to start shaving, give them that confidence boost and let them. There's no reason to let a girl go around being self-concious because of a little thing like leg hair. It's hard enough at that age. There's nothing wrong with shaving; it doesn't even really mean that they're "growing up" on you. All shaving means is good grooming.
Great comments ... I've hesitated to bring the subject up with my nearly 12 year old, because she seems oblivious. After reading all these comments, I think I'll mention it to her, give her options (ie. shaving or not!) and leave it with her to decide. I know my husband would like her to wait until she's 25, but I think she needs options a little sooner than that! :)
I'm Jessie, I'm 14 years old and a 3rd year high school student. I'm going to have a prom and I don't know what to do. What if our theme is a cocktail dress? Should I wear stockings because I am so embarrassed about how I look.
I have hairy legs, but I notice my mom has smooth and soft skin and I'm opposite of it. The other day I saw a razor in our bathroom and I felt like I should use it to shave my legs. Then when I started to shave a little part of my skin I remembered that I should ask my mom if I could shave my legs. So I started to ask her if I could shave my legs. She just said "No. Many girls have hairy legs. The hair on your legs will become more and more thick and darker if you do. Trust me. You're too young for thinking that and your are so insecure, just study hard!"
I started to run in my room and started to cry. She doesn't know what I am feeling. When I wear shorts I fake feeling comfortable because every time I wear shorts everybody's looking at my legs and I can see how their faces react. They are like saying, "eew". So can somebody help me? Sorry for my grammar I'm not good at it, but I tried hard.
By harlett
Hiya from Scotland:) I'm not all that with grammar either (I LOVE run-on sentences) so it might be easier for you to get the following if you read it out loud to yourself.
First and most important (and you knew I was going to say this) she's your mum and she is in charge-if she says you can't shave your legs you have to follow her rule.
Mums make rules for their offspring for a reason-to protect and teach the offspring how to get along in the world safely. This is done in hopes of raising a healthy child to adulthood.
Her stated reasoning on this particular rule is that not shaving will keep hair growth to a minimum, thus saving you the trouble of shaving regularly, and possibly saving you money on shaving supplies. She's probably also imagining you inflicting a serious shaving wound that could become infected, make you totally sick, and leave a lifelong scar (ask me how I know this-I have a few shaving scars from the first year of shaving) and she wants to protect you from that.
LOL, this is what mums do when they love their child-they make rules to try to teach their child how to make life safer, easier, and cheaper so that when you are an independent adult you spend less to live better:)
However. Right now you are enduring some very serious embarrassment when your legs are exposed (I'm assuming in sporting activities at school, or on warm days whilst out with your friends) and now you have this huge social event about to happen that may cause you even more embarrassment.
I am American by birth and upbringing, and now live in the UK. In both countries it's usual for most girls to begin shaving legs and underarms around 11 or 12. So the other girls around you are shaving and they are looking at you as though you are totally out of touch because you aren't shaving. That hurts, you feel different and not in a good way. You don't want to be that different!
You don't say what country you live in or what your cultural traditions are but I am assuming (since you are anticipating this prom) that you come from a culture that is similar to mine. I well remember how much it hurt when my 14 year old schoolmates made fun of me for being too different. I'm way old enough to be your grannie so the hurt can really stick with you from teenaged years!
To be honest it sounds as though your mum has either forgot how hard it is to be 14, or somehow miraculously managed to get through her teen years with a minimum of hurt. Keep reading:)
You also say that your mum doesn't understand what you are going through. Have you considered asking her for a quiet hour of her time to talk about this?
Maybe you could present your case (for a rule change) in this way: ask her for a sit-down talk when it's a good time for her-not just in from work or after she's just spent hours catching up on household chores, cooking or baking, etc. You want her to be relaxed and able to hear you and she won't be able to if she's tired from hours of hard work or a similarly stressful and tiring activity.
Chose a place for your discussion that is away from any potential interruptions so that you can 'state your case' and peacefully negotiate with her without losing your train of thought from interruptions.
Once you are sitting down together tell her you need to ask her for advice coping with the stares, rude laughter, comments, etc, when people see that at age 14 you still aren't shaving your legs. Ask her if she experienced any similar hurtful embarrassment when she was a teenager. (See, sometimes mums have to have their memory jogged about what it was like to be too different at aged 14)
Tell her how awful this is for you, and how it makes you want to stop participating in activities that expose you to what you are experiencing as hurtful ridicule of your unshaved legs; also tell her how worried you are that you're going to endure much worse at the formal dance. Tell her how that worry is spoiling your pleasure at anticipating the event.
You might also want to do some Internet research for reputable (reliable, credible because the source is a recognised authority on the subject) source of proof that on the contrary, shaving doesn't cause hair to grow back thicker, etc. If your mum is the type of mum who accepts advice from this kind of source, be sure to show her your bookmarked research results. It might help her come to the understanding that medical authorities say shaving or not shaving, your legs are going to grow hair just the same.
Between her finding out how awful it is for you to be the only one not shaving and that medical authorities are OK with 14 year olds shaving, she might change the rule for you.
If she doesn't, well, at 18 (depending on what country you live in) you can move out of her home and take full charge of your life, making your own rules including if you shave your legs.
Whatever happens, stay calm (but it's ok to cry) during the talk. Don't scream at her if she is unable to see your points. This is all part of growing up-showing her that you can handle both a calm discussion and the possibility that you will not achieve your goal of a rule change is the way to gain her respect for your growing maturity.
If she won't change the shaving rule, wear lightweight long trousers in warm conditions to hide your legs-tell your gym coach/PE teacher that you are hiding hairy legs, they'll understand; for the prom, even if a cocktail theme is chosen you can get away with a long frock as long as it's simple and not too 'fancy' Something lovely with no glittery trims, no deep neckline or exposed back because dresses like that fall into the 'glamourous evening gown' category, not the cocktail styles. You'll be safe from jibes (word for the day, look it up, you'll love that word:) and look wonderful!
Will you post back in and let us know how it goes?
This is a tough one. Your mom said "no", and she is the boss. Have you tried telling your mom how you feel? I remember how it was to be a teenager. Other children can be very cruel to others even about something as small as hairy legs. I too have very hairy legs, so I know how you feel. Some other suggestions are to bleach your leg hair, have them waxed, or use an epilator. You can see if your mother would be okay with any of those. I like waxing or using an epilator. Every time I use them, less hair grows back than I had before. It is time consuming, but it is worth it for less hassle and worry about your legs.
Make sure you wax or epilate several days before your event in case it takes your skin that long to recover. I also use castor oil on my skin after waxing or epilating. It is a natural pain killer and helps your skin heal. It is very soothing and has healing properties. It also helps get the sticky wax residue off your skin.
Bleaching works if your hair is not that thick, but if it is thick, you will still be able to see it. I hope this helps you, and I hope you are able to be honest with your mom about how you feel. I know your mom would not want you to be in distress over this. Also, consider the possibility that she is right. Are you making a big deal out of a little hair or being too sensitive about your looks? Ask yourself honestly. Good luck!
I forgot to mention. Your grammar is pretty good. It is a lot better than many have at your age (and older).
Can you talk to a female teacher or school counselor to have a quiet word with your mother? or perhaps a relative? I had the same problem when I was your age, having hairy legs showing is very embarrassing and I feel for you. In the end, my aunt spoke to my mother and persuaded her to let me shave my legs.
Hi - sounds like you have some good advice. Does your Mom read this column? If not, maybe you could show this to her and let her see how and what everyone has advised you. Might help (and might not!).
I do urge you to get an aunt or another adult female friend or relative to speak to your mom. Or perhaps, if your dad is approachable, he might intercede on your behalf.
First, be assured that most people are NOT looking at your legs to see if they are shaved or not. And anyone who would comment on or tease you about it is NOT your friend. However, that being said, there is absolutely no reason not to shave your legs if you think that they need shaving and you would prefer to have them look hairless. Shaving is by far the least invasive method of hair removal. I used to use my father's electric shaver and there is no risk of cutting yourself with an electric shaver. (I think it was a couple of years before he realized I was doing so!!! ha ha) Shaving will not make your hair grow back thicker or darker or anything like that. Sometimes it appears that it grows in darker if you have been wearing shorts and the sun has bleached the hair. Of course, when it grows back, it will not be sunbleached.
If there is no way to convince your mom about this at this time, by all means, wear panty hose to the prom. Sometimes girls wear fancy colors of hose to match their dresses. I don't know if that is style at this time, but the gals in a dress shop would be able to advise you of the latest trends.
So last year when I was 12, I realized how hairy my legs were. So I asked my mom to shave, but she said "no, I didn't start shaving till I was 27". That's an obvious sign that she doesn't want me to shave, but I really need to and I was gonna ask today, but what if she says no? My mom is a really easy going person, but I don't understand why she won't let me shave. I'm going into 8th grade and ever girl already shaves. Whenever I try talk about it I just don't say anything. I would really like to show off my legs, but I'm too embarrassed. Pleas help!
By ariel.13
Shaving results in hair growing heavier and quickly back. There are other ways that can achieve the same result but diminishing the disadvantage.
* bleaching the hair... same but isn't so evident.
* waxing strips then adding lemon juice to make it last longer and not grow again so heavy.
My Daughter is grown now and I don't remember when she started shaving her legs. She never asked me just did it and I remember being shocked but I figured it wasn't worth fighting over. My Daughter was strong willed and had a mind of her own. Traits that have served her well as an adult.
A Mother has to pick her battles. LOL I know how things like this can affect your self esteem. I remember asking my Mother for a bra and she said I didn't need one. I couldn't talk to my Mom about a lot of things. I was embarrassed at gym class when I had to undress. Are your friends shaving at your age? I think young girls are maturing a lot faster than when I was a young lady.
Maybe your Mother doesn't understand the impact this has on your self esteem? Also you said you wanted to show off your legs and I understand that. Does your Mother think you dress inappropriately? If that's the case maybe you can meet her half way by compromising. Your Mother is probably sad that you're growing up so fast.
About the only advice I can give you is try to build a good, close relationship with your Mother and maybe she will come to see how much this bothers you. If you're not spending much time with her try to find more time. It's hard being a teenager but it's even harder being a Mother.
I don't think I ever asked my mom but just grabbed a razor and shaved. I do recall getting about a half inch cut which did scar, but no big deal. If you have the money, why not buy some "Neet" or other type of hair removal cream/lotion and try that.
Shave them. She'll get over it. Had the same problem with my Mom and people made fun of me. She got over it.
I'm old enough to be a bit older than your mom, and I _still_ remember when I was your age, having the same problem. It was really embarrassing, because I wasn't trying to look sexy or provocative, I just didn't want the nickname of Sasquach among the kids at school!
I must have been 14 before I was actually allowed to do it. I think I tried hair removers like Nair and Neet on my own first, but they didn't work well, although they did at least thin it up a bit. And there was still enough hair left to keep me from getting into trouble... :)
Your mom isn't trying to be mean. She just doesn't want to think of her child becoming an adult. And maybe subconsciously she knows that your not shaving your legs will keep you dressing a bit more demurely than you might otherwise.
My recommendation as an adult is to be open and honest with her. Don't just tell her "everyone else is doing it," as this is a statement that immediately rubs parents the wrong way and makes them worry about raising lemmings. Tell her that you are very embarrassed about the amount of hair on your legs and that it is making you uncomfortable with your body and that you feel it is time that you were able to do something about it. Remind her that it has been a year since you brought it up in the past.
On the other hand, my recommendation as someone who went through the same thing is that razors are pretty cheap. It isn't that much different than wearing a bra or using deodorant. It is considered a personal hygiene issue by our peers, and at some point the vast majority of us do it, whether our parents make it easy for us, or not.
PS- Shaving your legs does not cause your hair to grow in faster or thicker. That is just a myth. It just feels a little spiky for a while when it is growing back out.
Good luck!
minkuti...you took the words right out of my mouth! I just want to add that Ariel13 I think it's great that you care about what your Mom thinks, that goes a long way to help the communication up between you two! Good luck :)
At what age should girls start shaving their legs?
By precious from Chicago, IL
I don't there is one answer that fits everyone. This is highly personal to each individual. It'll depend on her comfort level, and hopefully her parents will support her (assuming she still lives at home). Some females choose not to ever shave anything.
When the girls start to feel uncomfortable when other kids notice it. I raised two daughters. When they came to me and said they wanted to shave because of comments, they were old enough. Yes, I know you can tell kids about standing up to peers, etc. But I was a little girl whose mother would not allow me to shave my legs, and I know how embarrassing it was to me.
When she wants to. Just make sure she knows how to do it without cutting herself. If she is not really ready but just curious, she will not bother to do it regularly and will eventually let it grow out. (it will not come in thicker, if it did we all would have legs like an ape) Show her how and give her a package of razors and some shaving soap. If she doesn't want to shave but you want her to, forget it.
Lilac's answer of "when she wants to" is a terrible answer! My twin granddaughters wanted to at 5 years old! I used a 2 sided rule with my daugher and granddaughters. One was if their leg hair started coming in dark (they are all fair skinned) and not before age 12. If at age 12 it was still coming in light, then they waited till 13.
And when they did start, I bought them all the paraphenalia, one set for each with the twins, and sat in the bathroom with them and explained step by step how to do it and watched them carefully the first few times they did it. After that they pretty much had the idea and could do it by themselves, but I never allowed them to shave unless I was home with them, even if in another room, until they had been doing it by themselves for at least 6 months. This was just in case of a severe cut or something.
By me doing it this way they were grateful to be allowed to do it at all, and glad also that I was being extra careful with them until they really had it down pat.
I believe a girl should be allowed to shave her legs when the hair becomes very visible, either because of the amount or the darkness and she is aware & bothered by it. And I don't think you can use the rule of 12 or 13 (my mom's rule) anymore either. Too many girls are going through puberty at an earlier & earlier age anymore and that means more & darker leg hair. If it doesn't bother them, fine, but if it does, do something about it, the cruel teasing of classmates can do real & permanent damage to self esteem.
My daughter's leg hair became dark & visible around 4th grade (age 9). I talked to her about it & she seemed comfortable with it the way it was. I told her that when she felt like she was ready, to tell me & we would do something about it. She was in 5th grade (age 10), when she decided she was tired of the teasing when she wore a dress or shorts, so I took her out & bought her a safety razor & taught her to use it.
My daughter had friends who's mom's wouldn't let them shave until 12,13 or even 14, despite long & dark leg hair & the constant torment from their peers, just because that had been the rule enforced when the mom was a kid!
When I started shaving my legs at age 12, no one was there to teach me. (My mother didn't have hair on her legs, but I had lots!) So, being ignorant I ended up with bright red lines that burned because I pressed too hard on the razor. The red marks didn't appear for a couple of hours, so I didn't realize it was happening. The most important thing to do is warn your teen not to apply too much pressure. Instead of buying a special product to use as shaving cream, hair conditioner or hand cream works great, and there is no rinsing; just towel dry after shaving.
I am going to be 15 this May. My legs are so hairy that I feel so embarassed when I wear shorts and all. I really want to shave. But the problem that arises is that my mother doesn't shave. Last time when she got shaved was near her marriage. From then on my mother, who has so little hair that they don't even appear, has not shaved. So a few years ago she became a nun and she literally doesn't shave. What should I do? I also don't want that my mom should know about it. I am too shy to ask for a razor and all that stuff from a shopkeeper.
By Ishu
I'm 13 and have really hairy legs. I don't know how to ask my dad to shave because I fell like I would feel more comfortable asking my mom, but I only see her once every 3-4 months. What should I do?
By Destiny
My mom has talked to me about growing up, but I am embarrassed and I need something to make her notice, but it never comes out of my mouth! My leg hair is getting darker and more noticeable! Please help me.
By Adriana Marie
What age do you think is appropriate for little girls to shave their legs? My mom wanted me to wait until I was about 14 or 15 to shave, that was pretty embarrassing, but I was a compliant child, but this day and age it seems kids start doing everything earlier. I'm not the type of parent that lets their kids do whatever everyone else is doing and when they do it. But I just wanted some input.
I think early middle school would be acceptable. It's when their bodies are developing into young women anyways.
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What is the average age for a girl to start shaving?
What age do you think is appropriate for little girls to shave their legs? My mom wanted me to wait until I was about 14 or 15 to shave, that was pretty embarrassing but I was a compliant child but this day and age it seems kids start doing everything earlier.
