My teen thinks she is going to die if I don't let her where thongs to school. She is 13 and apparently they make fun of anyone who doesn't wear thongs in gym class. They call normal underwear "Granny's Panties"? This has caused a major problem in our relationship. Does anyone have any advice or experiences to share?
I'm a father of a 10 year old and my daughter wears thongs. I personally don't care if she buys them because they're underwear and if she likes them, she likes them and I can't prevent her from being what she wants people to think about her. And yes, I did ask her once why she wears thongs and she said because her friends wear them and she doesn't want to be left out. So my suggestion is to buy some for her at Victoria's Secret pink or something like that (because it's what she has the most of) or just give her something like 100 bucks and let her go buy what she wants (that's what I do to my daughter). I don't think any parent should prevent their child from being what they want others to think about them. In the sense that it's the current trend and she doesn't want people to think she's old fashioned. Actually, if she wears normal underwear and others call it grannies panties, you are making her get teased more because you are not allowing her to wear them. So you might just as well save your daughter from being teased by buying her some thongs. As simple as that. Hope you got what I said.
So your saying that we should allow our children to fit in with their friends so they are not being made fun. Not trying to be rude, but I think that is absolutely ridiculous. I would rather teach my children to love themselves for who they are and not have people to turn them into something they don't want or is not who they are. Besides if they were truly her friends, they wouldn't be making fun of her in the first place.
I don't think that you should let your daughter do what ever she wants and become whatever people want her to be. However, when it comes to thongs and bras, honestly wearing lacy underwear makes me feel fancy and special and as long as she's not going around showing people her thong there is no reason to not let her.
I think you should let the girl wear what she wants, for God sakes, it's just under wear and no ones gonna see her any way but other females at most so lighten up!
So what are all the types of "underwear" that are not appropriate? REALLY??
She will find a way to wear them one way or the other and your relationship with her will be only that much further apart.
You are absolutely right and I applaud your point of view .
My daughter is 16 now she starting wearing thongs at 12 just because that what I bought her to wear now I still go with her to buy thongs
So youre saying drugs and alcohol are the exACT same as wearing a thong? I think not.
Her underwear at age ten will not determine if she does drugs or not. This is a type of growing up because she is learning what her limits are. She wants to wear them, so let her. She can trust her friends at school. I'm sure you can remember the struggle of fitting in and how you felt about how you knew you were responsible.
She shouldn't wear a thong just to be cool but if that is her way of asking you for a thong because she wants one then i wouldn't make it a big thing. Its really only underwear. Also you don't want her thinking of you as controlling or uptight. Save your battles for bigger things.
Thongs and drugs are two different things thongs are a type of underwear drugs are NOT
I think you mean "you're" the dude doesn't own "your". if YOU'RE going to correct someone's parenting technique, use proper grammar.
I love when people start a sentence so you are saying... and then proceed to completely miss the point.
1. First of all, 10-year-old thongs is straight creepy concept. She should be asking for a pony, not a g-string.
Thank you captain obvious, but as I said before; it isnt that a thong is a drug, it is that at some point in a childs development, the little rat needs to learn that it doesnt get what it wants all the time.
Likewise, the reason behind wanting a thong is probably more important than the ask. Because everyone else is doing it is the same reason most people do drugs the first time. (Notice how it is the presence of peer pressure in both situations; most people know that panties wont get you high.) It is good to teach a girl that doing things because everyone else is doing them is not the penultimate method of decision making, and starting early might reduce the chances she will do drugs when everyone is doing those too.
Everyone to their own, but My problem with 'girls' wearing thongs is because, my 14 year old already attracks the attention of nearly ANY male that passes her. If he can also see that she has NO KNICKER LINE then i can also imagine his next thoughts.. or if she tells her testosterone filled 15yr old boyfriend about what she is wearing...
sorry but its a DAILY worry of mine
i want my babies to stay that way as long as possible.
Thats the problem with our children now, we dont teach them to be themselves which may mean that you dont fit in to a popularity group. I get everyone wants to fit in to a degree but this dad clearly is going to let his daughter play a if her friends jump of a cliff situation, just let her do it so she doesnt have to be teased by her friends for being the one not to copy or repeat their actions.
Im pretty sure everyone that is referring to drugs etc. really are using that in an example if our teens are influenced by friends to do drugs (let me put in in CAPS for non readers) NO DIFFERENTLY OR SIMILAR TOO being influenced to wear things or even play games that potentially could kill themselfs, you all (the ones that continue to say let them go ahead) will all allow it to avoid them from being teased. My parents, family and community taught me to have a backbone and not to worry so much about fitting in because were different anyway. Because if that Ive achieved so much as an adult and have so much more to achieve but I forget, its just underwear, or just doing drugs. Great parenting folks (to the ones who let their kids fit in to a degree and not help them develop a backbone or have standards)
Im glad you are aware of the difference in drugs and thongs as most common sensed people are
Thats the problem with our children now, we dont teach them to be themselves which may mean that you dont fit in to a popularity group. I get everyone wants to fit in to a degree but this dad clearly is going to let his daughter play a if her friends jump off a cliff situation, just let her do it so she doesnt have to be teased by her friends for being the one not to copy or repeat their actions.
My 12 year old loves thongs and g strings we go shopping once a month she likes have no underwear lines all her friends wear them all she wears is yoga or stretchy pants and says helps with her figure.
Your throwing this way out of proportion!! Its a piece of clothing for frick sakes! If youre kids are saying their friends are doing drugs and they want to fit in then yea raise hell. But youre freaking out about something irrelevant, worry about things that are actually going to affect your kids life! Not whether their wearing a thong or not! Just petty
To those that think it is ridiculous to allow a teen to fit in by wearing thongs.
Let me point out, that there are far worse things kids can do to try and fit in. Seeing as how underwear is the problem, id say that's a good problem to have. Now you need to ask yourself, is fighting with your kid over wearing a thong really worth it? What happens if she tries it a few times and doesn't like it? Then the problem solved itself.
And to the one comparing a teen girl wearing thongs to doing drugs and drinking alcohol. Are you serious? You are seriously making that comparison? Drugs and alcohol are 100% not comparable to underwear, and just the idea of you comparing them is quite concerning to me.
If your kid came to you saying she wants to wear thongs to be sexy and turn boys on, that deserves a talk for sure because thats in a different context. But if you have ever been in a situation where trying to fit in was a concern for you, which any kid in middle or high school should agree, you know that its a very hard and stressful topic. And if wearing a certain type of underwear would minimize a chance of a negative social interaction, then id say go for it. Give it a shot. She's not doing any harm to herself, or to others.
You let your 10 yr old daughter wear thongs...that's ridiculous...good luck raising your daughters baby when she's pregnant at 13
i do not agree that you should be letting your 10 year old daughter wear thongs. at her age she should still be wearing regular (full coverage) underwear. i would have let her get regular cheeky underwear at her age if she really wanted something that is more sexy.
So, teach her to go along with the crowd. Teach her to succumb to bullying. No need to teach her to be her own person and stand for what what she feels is right and honorable. No need to teach modesty in this day and age right? My parents said if all your friends are jumping off a bridge does that mean you have to too? Common, I think we can teach and install a deeper understanding and moral compass with our children not just say "here's a $100 go do what you want so you can fit in and not be teased" You just opted out of an opportunity to be the parent she needs right now!
Remind her of that when she is at the mall or on the street wearing her string and tight fitting yoga pants and her "figure" is being watched and fantasized by dirty old men. Albeit that will make her feel really sexy!
Go Mom
My daughter is 11 and wears thongs it's just undies. I'm a single dad and my daughter is happy and looks fashionable.
Uhem! 10 years old? Youre out of your mind! Fit in with friends? What are you gunna do when shes strung out on drugs because you just wanted her to fit in? Oh hell no!
This is an atrocious exaggeration of what he said. He didn't say that he would allow anything. He was talking about Thongs.
You need to learn to pay attention to the scope of the conversation and not perform an unwarranted extrapolation just to make a point.
I really think they should be able to wear em when they want, dont think of it as a sexual thing. They just like it, I personally wore them at 10
First off letting your daughter wear thongs because her friends do it and she doesn't want to be left out is basically letting her follow the crowd and teaching her that being her own person is not good second of all thongs are to prevent panty lines only now 10 years old is way too young to wear thongs come on their children and don't even know how to clean themselves completely yet I would think the proper age is 14 or 15..
It really doesn't matter in my opinion if she wants to wear a thong let her she mostly just trying to get of vpl which on school whould make people look a her butt if she didn't wear them and im pretty sure you don't wanna know that boys are looking at your daughter butt due to a visible panty line
She could be wearing sweats or even a burka. If a dirty old man is there, he's going to leer, no matter what. Don't blame the female for the perversion of the men.
Whatever happened to bikini panties? I used to wear them all the time, but as I got older I only wear grannies. Thongs don't look comfortable to me, but dealing with peer pressure is different when you're an adult. If I had a 14-year-old daughter, I'd let her wear whatever kind of underwear she wanted.
There's plenty of time to stand up to peer pressure when you're grown.
I do agree that you should teach you child how to love themselves that is not the full story of whats going on. The thing is, drugs and alcohol are serious things that can ruin someones life and are hard to get out of. Thongs are not; they are just undergarments and will have no serious bearing on your childs future. In my opinion a small hit to your pride is worth the comfort and dignity of your child. Lastly speaking from experience thongs can help prevent VPL which can be embarrassing, and uncomfortable. Most girls dont wear thongs to impress others, they just do it because it makes them feel more comfortable with themselves both mentally and physically.
ThriftyFun is one of the longest running frugal living communities on the Internet. These are archives of older discussions.
My teen thinks she is going to die if I don't let her wear thongs to school. She is 13 and apparently they make fun of anyone who doesn't wear thongs in gym class. They call normal underwear "Granny Panties"?
