As a working parent of 6 kids (the oldest 4 are in a 5 1/2 year age span), the kids helping with chores was a given. Our system was the job jar. All household chores were written down and put into a job jar. Pink paper for the under 6 set, and yellow paper for those school age and above.
Every Friday, we all sat down and everyone, including parents, drew their jobs for the following week. We had a chart hanging on the wall that had everyone's name, their jobs for the week, and a space for Mom (or Mamaw) to sign off when the job was done satisfactorily (without more than one reminder) and finished each day of the week.
On Saturday, anyone that had their assigned chores done at least 6 out of the 7 days, participated in a "treat day". We took turns choosing the treat for the week, from a list provided by Mom (depended on time and money available). The treat might be a picnic, a trip to the pool, a movie, a trip to the zoo, or a Baskin Robbins ice cream treat, etc. Anyone not completing their assigned chores was left at home with grandmother, with no TV or phone privileges for the weekend.
In the early days of course, a 6 year old assigned to cook supper needed a lot of help from Mom or Grandmother. By the time they were 10-12 years old, they (boys and girls) could all plan a menu. They could make a edible, balanced meal for the family, fix lunches for school, vacuum, mop, etc.
From 9th grade on, they were also involved in budgeting, balancing the checkbook, writing the checks for monthly bills, seeing that they were mailed, making the grocery list, and shopping for groceries.
We do not give our kids enough credit. Even a 2 year old can empty a waste paper basket or pick up toys, and put them away. It is not just a case of helping out Mom. Everyone lives there, eats the food, and wears clothing. Everyone needs to feel a sense of ownership and responsibility for their home.
When we don't teach our kids to clean their homes, wash their clothes, cook a decent meal, manage their time, manage their money, and accept their responsibilities, we do them a grave disservice because someday they are going to have their own homes and families to manage. You can't teach those things by starting the week before they leave for college.
By slee15
This page contains the following solutions.
Take a sheet of paper. With a pencil, write on one side all the chores that the person doesn't like to do/needs to do. On the other side, write a corresponding reward.
Take a bin with their left out stuff in it and add a print out that says this:
When my kids (and fosters) were young, I bought a roll of tickets (like those at a carnival). They are available at places like WalMart. I made lists of chores, age appropriate for each child.
I know people with multiple kids. Some of them don't think chores are for kids. One says it's all women's work (hehe), and getting them to help out is a chore in itself!
My daughter has mirrored closet doors, we use them to keep a daily check list of things to be done. She loves putting the check by the item, or sometimes a mini artwork flower.
When my kids were younger, each had plastic hangers, a laundry hamper and clothes basket in their favorite color. They knew what laundry was theirs and were responsible for putting it up, just by the color of the hanger and basket.
This is a great way to organize your kids to do chores.
Here are the questions asked by community members. Read on to see the answers provided by the ThriftyFun community.
I'd love some ideas on how you do chores. We have four small girls. We agree they need daily chores to do. We agree that some things need to be done because you are a member of the family. Where do "just because chores" and "receive allowance chores" start and end?
By NellieMom
My siblings and I never received an allowance, doing chores was just part of being a family. We grew up on a farm and us kids had lots of chores, both inside and outside. My daughters never received an allowance. I did things differently than my parents did. From the time my kids could walk, when it was nap time or bed time we walked around picking up their toys and putting them away, this was teaching them when they were really young.
The chore division comes where you decide it does. One suggestion that worked in our family was that chores which benefitted the individual child ( picking up toys, cleaning the bedroom, doing own laundry) were free. Chores that helped the entire family ( lawn mowing, cleaning the bathroom(only had one), vacuuming, laundering towels and sheets) ,were paid. Payment was once a week, and in cash. You have to adapt the chores to the child's age and ability.
You want your children to learn to be useful and self sufficient. but it has to be age appropriate. Explain to them Daily chores have to be done to maintain a clean home and a good feeling. so that when you are at home you can look around and say "isn't our home nice? nice job everyone!" and feel pride when visitors come over. My kids had to pick up their own clothes, clean their bathroom, load or unload dishwasher, dust, and vacuum daily. this was done or no one went anywhere.( work first, then play). At the end of week allowance was given. (again age appropriate). Now, here's the catch, you have to show them how to do the chores. you can't just say "go make your bed."
You have to show them how to do it! Then as they get older you can again show them how to fine tune it. just like real on-the-job training. this is a" learning for life" experience and the allowance lets them feel proud to buy something on their own. If my kid's friends helped them, my kids had to share part of their allowance. the kids would decide for themselves who does what. The competition created more motivation for all of them and team work. if they did something extra like rake leaves, wash car, sweep drive and patio, windows even, we would negotiate the extra allowance beforehand. I never had one complaint.
An allowance teaches children how to handle money. Whether or not it is tied in with chores is up to the parent. The greatest life lesson my parents gave me was a generous "clothing" allowance when I turned 16. While I was counting dollars in my head, I was informed of what it had to cover and that if I misspent it there'd be no more money forthcoming until the following month. Boy, did I learn to be frugal. By the time I was 40 my home was paid for, as was my vehicle. I had no debt and a nice savings account. I do not pay interest on a credit card and bills are paid on time. This I owe to my parents wisdom.
Doing chores and having an allowance are both part of being a family. I had an allowance to spend as I chose or I could save it for something special. Being the kind of person I am, I always saved back some special purchase. As to chores, my parents took a "you are part of this family" and I was expected to do my share within limits of my abilities.
I learned when my children were small that it was my responsibility to teach them the skills to be a wife, husband, mother, father, college student and to be self-sufficient. At an early age, I taught my children that we are a family and we should take pride in our home and also to learn different skills in the household; they learned to make their beds, laundry, bathroom cleaning, kitchen duties (loading dishwasher, unloading dishwasher), dusting furniture, vacuuming and to know their way around the home as far the location of items that they could find themselves by being involved in the household chores. My children were making their own school lunches beginning in kindergarten (I had arranged all the lunch box items in an area they could get to without assistance); they placed their lunch boxes in the fridge and I would remind them about their lunches in the fridge; back packs were packed after doing homework and placed by the door. After school chores were to be completed plus homework completed before my children could play outside; they always had enough time to play outside! My son who is 34 and has a 4 year old son thanked me for teaching him the skills he needed to be a husband and father even though at the time when I insisted that the chores should be done he didn't understand but now he does and that makes me happy. Chores are important for a child's self-esteem and growth as they grow older, more household skills are learned and they become self-sufficient.
We didn't have a lot of money and I was a single mom and had a stroke at 38 so learning the difference was fairly easy. We picked up cans or made things to sell for spending money for Mcdonald's and such or something they wanted real bad then we all pitched in and helped. The chores were not tied to the allowance but the behavior was and if they misbehaved no allowance. A couple times of losing that and they got the message. If you didn't do your chores you didn't get to participate in family time till you did.Last resort got punished according to what we agreed was appropriate for the offense.
Chores for real small children should be according to their age and start with one or 2 simple things. Make their bed and put up toys won't be perfect to begin with but gentle urging that is a sloppy job and help a couple of time then no that is your job usually works unless they run your house.
I feel similarly to redhatterb, no one pays me to cook or clean for myself or the family, I don't think I should be paying my kids for that either. Chores for that maintain your person or your home are a part of being in a family and doing them should have other rewards, such as inviting a friend over.
If I were to pay my kids for helping, it would be for going above and beyond, like washing the screens in the spring or cleaning out the storage shed. We always provide for the kids outings like movies, etc when they are appropriate and offer them chances to earn extra money by doing things like selling outgrown toys at a yard sale.
Our kids got a small allowance with no strings attached, but chores were done because it takes all family members to run the home. Once in a while we'd give them the option of earning some extra money for doing a special job of some sort.
I have 4 daughters, 11, 7, and twins that are 5. I am ashamed to say they have been quite "spoiled" when it comes to helping out with chores around the house up until now. I am a stay-at-home-mom and I have found it's easier to just do things myself, but I am finding it harder and harder to keep up with the cleaning!
I was hoping I could find some ideas on how I can make up a "chore list" or something similar that will help in getting my girls to participate in the upkeep of our house. What has worked for you or what hasn't worked? Any feedback is much appreciated!I started by using a chore chart I found online that is printable. I started off putting just two or so chores per week. As they get the hang of doing these chores, add more. My kids no longer need the chore chart! They did complain a lot and would say they didn't want to do them. So I retaliated by telling them I didn't feel like cooking supper or doing their laundry!
I think it is good to have your kids help with chores. I have a two year old son and he already has to help pick up his own toys and help do other small tasks. This website www.thefamilyhomestead.com/
We have found the the reward system helped a lot. Have a chore jar, then assign points to each job, more for harder chores, etc... Then at the end of the week add up the points, whoever has more points gets to pick out something fun to do as a family. We have a jar of fun (inexpensive) family fun things to pick from. Hope this helps get them in the mood for chores.
I learned this through a parenting class and at first I wasn't too sure how it would work. I have 3 daughters, 10, 12, and 14 years old. I used to have to fuss all day long trying to get just their rooms clean. Then I decided to try this new technique. First decide what it is you would like them to help do then you give them a choice: clean bathroom or do dishes, for example. they get to pick what to do and do not feel like they are being told what to do. It worked like a charm with no fussing all day. ALSO another approach i use is the timer method, make a BIG deal like its a race. you set the timer for 15 minutes. You clean in one room for this set time when the timer goes off you are done in that room. my girls and I will all clean in one room and you will be amazed how much can get done in a short time frame. We turn the radio on and when we are done we have the rest of the day to do whatever we wish.
I have an 11-year-old and 9-year-old twins. There is a certain amount of cleaning they are expected to do without getting paid, such as making their bed, cleaning up their rooms, etc.
Whenever they want to buy something and need money, I use that as an opportunity for them to earn money by doing cleaning chores. I make a list of everything that needs to be done and assign a monetary value. They each take turns choosing the tasks they want.
Typical chores for my 11-year-old are vacuuming, scouring the kitchen sink, and windows. The 9-year-olds can clean the bathroom sinks, empty trash cans, dust, and unload the dishwasher.
It takes a few times showing them how, but after that they can do it themselves. I keep a little bucket under their sink with a sponge and cleaner so they can get it out themselves when it's time to clean.
I haven't been able to have them do these jobs regularly, but when they're motivated to earn money for something, they do very well!
google : printable chore sheets or theres one called chart jungle that sends updates.
you could start them each with a balance of say $15 a week then from there, things that DON'T get done are viewed as CRIMES & they get penalized for them by you subtracting funds from their balance.
It would work the same as when I was in school & at the start of the year everyone had an A; all we had to do was KEEP it!
Hopefully it's not too late to teach your daughters to do their chores. They say it's much, much easier to start them off very young. But good luck. I hope something works for you. I strongly encourage you to atleast try. My husband's sister,a stay-at-home mom like you, raised her daughter the same way you've been raising yours (thought it was easier to just do everything herself) and has really reaped the whirlwind as they say. Poor sis-in-law is now raising her daughter's 3 illegitimate children, whom she's also not teaching to do chores. She is trying to raise those 3 little kids and still do everything herself at the age of 56! As a consequence, her health is shot, the house looks like a disaster area, and the kids are getting more and more out of control. So you hang in there and give it a good try. If you have trouble with the girls refusing to all of a sudden take orders from their sweet, easy-going mother who's been doing everything for everybody, maybe a female relative - your mother, mother-in-law, sister, sister-in-law, (somebody who can be tough when she needs to be) could come over for a few days and kind of put your daughters through a sort of chore "boot camp". Good luck!
When my two children were pre-teen they helped and it was a pleasue for all of us. Then the dreaded adolescence hit. One made money in college doing laundry for ignorant students.
The other did nothing, until one day I went into her room with trash bags, collected everything lying around, put the bags in the garage, phoned her, told her the trash pick up was in two days - and waited.
A flurry of indignant action ensued, but within 24 hours her space was immaculate, stayed that way and we had recovered our "work is fun" attitude. Now she is a respected executive in a cutthroat company, and her brother is an international human rights lawyer.
Mostly child-raising needs vigilance, fairness and courage. I choose to be a stay-at-home Mum, so I could taylor my child-raising to the needs of each day and importantly each child. I worked from home too, before it had a name.
Good luck to all conscientious parents.
