Ideas for Positive Incentives for Good Behavior?

Liz Orr

November 12, 20080 found this helpful

How about rather than an item, you play one of their favorite games with them.

You did not give ages of children. When my son was younger we had a "prize " box. Cheapy little toys that I got at dollar store or garage sales. I put them in the box . When he did something to earn it he got to get a prize from the prize box.

I've found that spending QUALITY, uninterrupted time with them, doing something THEY choose is a wonderful reward. Most children thrive on feeling special.

This all depends on the ages of your kids, of course. Whenever possible, use positive reinforcers instead of "things". Use lots of praise, and perhaps have them earn a privilege, like a few minutes extra TV or computer time, extra bedtime story, getting to pick the dessert or ice cream flavor you will buy when you grocery shop. Use lots of praise and thanks that arte specific to the behavior you want to see-i.e. "I really like it when you..., or thanks for helping... or you really tried hard on..."

If you set your kids up to expecta reward, like a toy or treat for every good thing they do, they will always have their hand out and you will begin to hear things like "what do I get if I....."

BTW, I am retired from 30 yrs teaching special ed, have a MS degree in ed and lots of grad training in behavior management.

Hugs and kisses with words of sincere praise are the best reward. "That was perfect!" "Yeah, yeah for you!" "I love working with you because...." As the mother of 7 children and a child care provider for 20 years, I have learned that the cheerful sound of my voice is what the children need and crave. Material rewards do not bring the results you want if you are trying to improve behavior. I find that it only makes a child more whiny, demanding, cranky and greedy. I did want them to be rewarded for good behavior and teach a lesson at the same time. When we went to the grocery store, I would tell them that they had been so good that they could pick out one item to share with everyone. This worked well for me. May you be blessed in the challenge of motherhood.

Louise B.
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November 12, 20080 found this helpful

What about a chart with stars or something like that, rather than 'things". You could have something like a trip to the dairy Queen for a full chart, or a prize from the prize box, as the previous person suggested.

We have a jar for each of our sons and every time I ask them to do something they say "yes, I'd love to" it has to be said sincerely and they have to actually do it but they get a "chip" (poker chip) in their jar. When they both get 200 chips in their jar we get to do something fun, go see a movie, go to a water park, etc. etc. If they put their mind to it they can earn many chips in a day, but the great thing is you can set the amount of chips and what the reward is. The best thing is the looks on peoples faces when we're in front of friends and I ask the boys to pick something up and they cherrily say "yes, I'd love to".

My little girl and I have been through a ton together. At one point she started whining, being greedy, back talking, etc. I thought at first that it was just a stage that she was going through. An adjustment period of sorts. It turns out that our days got so busy that we virtually had time to spend together doing the things that we always did together. We would get home in the afternoon, she would have to rush through her bath while I cooked supper, we would eat when she was done, do her homework together, if there was time watch a cartoon, read a book, etc.

And before we knew it, it was bedtime! I realized what was wrong and I made time to do things like take her to the park, play games, go for a walk, play Barbie's with her, etc.

Leave the dishes in the sink until they are snug in their beds. then go back to that! Spend uninterrupted quality time with your child. I would like to recommend a book to all of you who have children (behavioral issues or not). Every parent should read "The Five Love Languages of Children" by Gary Chapman! I absolutely loved this book!