I have 4 daughters, 11, 7, and twins that are 5. I am ashamed to say they have been quite "spoiled" when it comes to helping out with chores around the house up until now. I am a stay-at-home-mom and I have found it's easier to just do things myself, but I am finding it harder and harder to keep up with the cleaning!
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I started by using a chore chart I found online that is printable. I started off putting just two or so chores per week. As they get the hang of doing these chores, add more. My kids no longer need the chore chart! They did complain a lot and would say they didn't want to do them. So I retaliated by telling them I didn't feel like cooking supper or doing their laundry!
I think it is good to have your kids help with chores. I have a two year old son and he already has to help pick up his own toys and help do other small tasks. This website www.thefamilyhomestead.com/
We have found the the reward system helped a lot. Have a chore jar, then assign points to each job, more for harder chores, etc... Then at the end of the week add up the points, whoever has more points gets to pick out something fun to do as a family. We have a jar of fun (inexpensive) family fun things to pick from. Hope this helps get them in the mood for chores.
I learned this through a parenting class and at first I wasn't too sure how it would work. I have 3 daughters, 10, 12, and 14 years old. I used to have to fuss all day long trying to get just their rooms clean. Then I decided to try this new technique. First decide what it is you would like them to help do then you give them a choice: clean bathroom or do dishes, for example. they get to pick what to do and do not feel like they are being told what to do.
I have an 11-year-old and 9-year-old twins. There is a certain amount of cleaning they are expected to do without getting paid, such as making their bed, cleaning up their rooms, etc.
google : printable chore sheets or theres one called chart jungle that sends updates.
you could start them each with a balance of say $15 a week then from there, things that DON'T get done are viewed as CRIMES & they get penalized for them by you subtracting funds from their balance.
Hopefully it's not too late to teach your daughters to do their chores. They say it's much, much easier to start them off very young. But good luck. I hope something works for you. I strongly encourage you to atleast try. My husband's sister,a stay-at-home mom like you, raised her daughter the same way you've been raising yours (thought it was easier to just do everything herself) and has really reaped the whirlwind as they say. Poor sis-in-law is now raising her daughter's 3 illegitimate children, whom she's also not teaching to do chores. She is trying to raise those 3 little kids and still do everything herself at the age of 56!
When my two children were pre-teen they helped and it was a pleasue for all of us. Then the dreaded adolescence hit. One made money in college doing laundry for ignorant students.
The other did nothing, until one day I went into her room with trash bags, collected everything lying around, put the bags in the garage, phoned her, told her the trash pick up was in two days - and waited.
A flurry of indignant action ensued, but within 24 hours her space was immaculate, stayed that way and we had recovered our "work is fun" attitude. Now she is a respected executive in a cutthroat company, and her brother is an international human rights lawyer.
Mostly child-raising needs vigilance, fairness and courage. I choose to be a stay-at-home Mum, so I could taylor my child-raising to the needs of each day and importantly each child. I worked from home too, before it had a name.
Good luck to all conscientious parents.
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