I need help. I am a new cat owner. I always had dogs. Payton landed on our doorstep last October 30, very sick. We got him together with our vet and my husband just recently said let's get him a friend.
I adopted Clover and it has been a month and there is no hissing, but after 2 or 3 minutes our Payton is trying to hurt the little one. I have him isolated in another room, and I've had a million people giving info and it's different. I feel I am causing my Payton undue stress and I get apprehensive when they come together. Payton's tail bushes, his ears go back, and his eyes get very big.
I don't want to give back Clover, who is also male and approximately 2-3 months old. I have let the little one in rooms when Payton is not in that room and then he sits outside the door and cries. Please help.
By rayerae from Maple Heights, OH
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Are you immediately separating them as soon as Payton's tail bushes and you 'think' he's trying to hurt Clover? If so, you simply aren't giving them enough time to investigate and get to know each other. There will be spats until they've gotten to know one another. Only separate them if it looks like Payton is actually trying to hurt Clover and you can easily do that without getting hurt yourself by quick and continuous squirts from the jet stream of a water bottle and do not yell at either of them, stay calm! They need time together, while you're watching, to get to know one another and establish their relationship and territory.
I once had a large male rescue and a few months later someone brought me an eight week old male that someone had simply dropped off in the middle of a busy street at the stop light. Jake, the older large male, reacted the same way as Payton but I just kept an eye on how they were progressing and separated them as needed. It was just over a week later that Jake was best pals with Duke (the kitten) and they slept together and they bathed each other all the time. They were best buds until Duke passed away in his sleep of heart failure a couple of years ago when he was thirteen years old.
I know you don't want to traumatize Payton but it's also traumatizing for Clover when he wants to not be locked away from you so you need to let them work it out as soon as possible. They will be happier and less stressed then and so will you.
P.S. Not all cats will end up being best buds but they will come to an agreement and tolerate one another just like we humans do. :-)
Try to get in touch with cat breeders. Some of them look after cats for people in crisis till they can have them back. I have spoken to a lady from Chicadee Cat Club in Fredericton that takes care of cats in need and her pure breeds are fine with it. You might want to check them out I'm sure they have a web site.
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I adopted a male cat from the shelter. I had him neutered the day I picked him up. He's a sweet cat. The problem is the female cat I found as a small kitten is not taking to him. She is 17 months old, spayed, and spoiled rotten. She acts aggressively towards him. She gets along with all my other pets. I have two birds, a ferret, and a dog.
I thought she would be OK with the cat. She cried when she first saw him. Now she growls and hisses at him. He's a lot bigger than her and could hurt her if she tried to fight him. He was going to be put to sleep but he's too good of a cat. I pray they become friends. What can I do to help her accept him?
By Trishaann from Shallotte, NC
You can buy a product called "Aggression Formula" from Petalive. Google petalive and you'll find it. It's meant for exactly what you're going through. It'll help them get used to each other, and over time they can work things out. It's kind of expensive though. (03/30/2010)
By Debby
It's pretty normal behavior. Give them some time. Eventually, she'll get over it; he'll figure out how to avoid her; they'll just co-exist; or they'll actually become friends. She's just threatened and guarding her territory. We have eight cats and a dog - all spayed/neutered; introduced at different times; various ages - and they all get along in various ways.
By Amy
I am currently dealing with the same situation. The new cat has been here (in the guest room most of the time) for 2 1/2 weeks now. My resident cat is afraid of the new female kitty. She attacks him every few days. The rest of the time when they are in the room together she stares him down. If I speak to her, she doesn't go after him. I have trimmed all claws real short.
I tried the Petalive aggression product but had no luck. Botanicals also did nothing. I have noticed that Farnums comfort Zone with Feliway does work to some degree. It kind of takes the edge off. I tried a pet gate so they could "talk through the gate." She climbed it like spider-man. I had to laugh. At the moment I am making sure they both get lots of exercise and two people are in the room when they are together. I keep a squirt bottle handy and that does slow her down. I feel like we are making some progress but wish it was faster. Good luck! (03/30/2010)
By Lizzyanny
I have had cats all of my life. Well, since I was 4 and I am now 47. In 43 years there have been a lot of cats! It may just take time. Most of the time they will learn to get along and may even seem embarrassed when you catch them sleeping together. Or they may never get along but at least learn to tolerate each other.
Don't give up! Don't give one more attention than the other. In some cases it helps if they get to eat a really special treat together, but not something that they have to share from the same dish. Also, play with them together. When they discover their shared enthusiasm for chasing a string they may also find the other one isn't so bad after all. (03/31/2010)
By Beth
