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Financial Responsibility for Funeral Costs

February 15, 2018

I have been separated for 3 years. I live in New Jersey which doesn't have legal separation laws. My soon to be ex is very sick. If he dies am I responsible to pay for a funeral for him?

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He's in the marital home and has not paid one dime in child support. So to say I don't have money for a funeral would be true.

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Gold Post Medal for All Time! 677 Posts
February 15, 20180 found this helpful
Best Answer

You have to check the laws in NJ. If there is no separation law, it would seem that you are still married and would have to pay for some kind of funeral.It could be a cremation. You could bury him in Potter's Field if you have no money.

 

Bronze Answer Medal for All Time! 220 Answers
February 15, 20180 found this helpful
Best Answer

I strongly suggest that you discuss this problem with an attorney-legal aid is good, if you can arrange an appointment quickly! Otherwise, you may need to hire an attorney to represent your interests. Don't wait until the last minute, you need answers before the ex dies.

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Also re child support, the father may have money, etc., you do not know about so definitely check his financial status for any possibility of back child support.

 
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12 More Questions

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March 2, 2017

So I just had to take my older brother off of life support in January 2017. I am woundering who is responseable for the costs of his funeral. It is kind of complicated because he is married but separated not legally. They just separated and he has a girlfriend of about four years.

He was married to his wife 20 + years. I was told that because I was the one to make the decision to take him off life support and I signed the death certificate I am responsiable for all costs.

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Gold Post Medal for All Time! 677 Posts
March 2, 20170 found this helpful

That is not true. Don't get nervous. The money will come out of the estate, if he has one. If he doesn't have enough money, the hospital is stuck, not you.

 

Silver Post Medal for All Time! 255 Posts
March 2, 20170 found this helpful

In my state (Missouri) it is the responsibility of the person who picks and sends the deceased to the funeral home. So, if you signed the funeral home paperwork, you would be responsible. It has nothing to do with who made the decision to take him off life support--doctors make those decisions all the time, and they don't have to pay for funerals.

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Are you sure it was the death certificate you signed? Where I live, the death certificate is signed by the person who pronounces them dead, such as the doctor or the coroner.
When my first husband died, the funeral home had me fill out paperwork. I was the benifary of his life insurance and there is a form that if you fill out, the life insurance company will take the funeral expenses and out of the claim and send them directly to the funeral home. That is what we opted for. He had a $30000 policy and the funeral home was $10000. So, the life insurance company sent the funeral home $10000 and then sent me the remaining $20000, which I then split up among the kids for their college accounts.

Most areas have a "potters" funeral if you can't afford one. But you get nothing for it--it basically just pays for the burial or cremation and no service. In my county, they don't even give the ashes to the family, even if the family asks for them because they didn't pay (cold hearted if you ask me). If he was a vet, the military will assist with a service (contact the local VFW for more info)

 
March 2, 20170 found this helpful

Did you sign a contract with the funeral director to pay for funeral services? Did you sign anything at all? If you did, was it entitled "Statement of Goods and Services?" That form lists the prices next to the services and merchandise that were selected. (The law requires that at the time of the funeral arrangements, this document must be given to and signed by the person taking responsibility.) In many cases, there will be a fine print clause that holds you legally responsible for the funeral costs, regardless of the estate value.

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Unless you did sign that document, you are not responsible.
If the director contacts you again, tell him to stop bothering you or you will contact the Better Business Bureau. Block his number if needed.

 

Gold Feedback Medal for All Time! 949 Feedbacks
March 7, 20170 found this helpful

Here is an excerpt from an attorney:
Who pays for funeral costs:
The funeral contract. When seeking payment, the funeral director looks to the person who signed the contract on the day that the services were arranged. Although the service bill may be submitted to, and ultimately paid by, the deceased's estate, the terms of the service contract actually obligate the person who signed on the dotted line to pay the funeral director.

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I believe this is what you mean when you say you signed the death certificate but if you did not sign the contract at the funeral home then you are probably not obligated.
How did you become the one legally designated to remove your brother from life support? It would seem that his wife would have been the one responsible for this (separated means nothing legally) so this is a puzzle.
It may be too late to recover any funds from his estate/insurance but the funeral home should have at least applied the $255 available from Social Security for burial expense.
Did you make the funeral arrangements? Type of service and any "extras"? Did anybody else sign anything?
You should have a copy of whatever you signed but most likely you are going to be held responsible for this funeral cost.

 

Gold Feedback Medal for All Time! 949 Feedbacks
March 7, 20170 found this helpful

i forgot to ask - you say he had no estate - does this actually mean he had/owned nothing of value? No life insurance? Nothing in the bank? Did someone have a POA for your brother?

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None of this may mean anything now but at least you should know if someone is not being truthful with you.

 
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May 15, 2015

My ex-husband just passed and I was told by the funeral home that being that we were married 25 years and never married anyone else that I am responsible for half of the funeral expense. Is this true that there is a law for this?


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May 15, 20150 found this helpful

That sounds like some weird idea that perhaps some of your ex-husbands relatives dreamed up to save them money. You better consult an attorney about this matter. However, I don't know why, being you are divorced you would be responsible for part of the expenses.

 

Bronze Feedback Medal for All Time! 226 Feedbacks
May 16, 20150 found this helpful

You have no responsibility for your ex spouses funeral expenses. I think redhatterb is right, someone is trying to put one over on you.

 
May 16, 20150 found this helpful

Sounds to me like the funeral home is doing a number on you, trying to "sell" you.

Despite being divorced, you were together a number of years and I'm sorry for your loss.

 

Gold Post Medal for All Time! 523 Posts
May 16, 20150 found this helpful

I enjoy learning. I do a lot of research on the Internet. This time I'll guess, instead. If anyone does research this subject, they are welcome to show me right or wrong.

I'm guessing there's no state or federal law making anyone responsible for anothers funeral expenses. That includes children, parents, spouses or ex spouses.

Even if you were the beneficiary of a burial policy for the deceased, I don't think there's any law requiring a person to use the money for its intended purpose.

We may, in time, be required to carry burial insurance made payable to a state approved or state appointed undertaker....pretty much like today's car insurance. I wouldn't doubt it.

Hope I haven't given the undertakers and legislators any ideas.

 

Gold Feedback Medal for All Time! 679 Feedbacks
May 16, 20150 found this helpful

I never heard of such a thing! Please check with your state and local governments about this. I think someone is trying to take advantage of you. Sorry about his passing, but I believe you have no obligations where he is concerned.

 
May 16, 20150 found this helpful

Absolutely not! You are NOT responsible for any of the burial costs!

 

Gold Feedback Medal for All Time! 949 Feedbacks
May 17, 20150 found this helpful

I certainly agree with everyone who posted about you NOT being responsible for any part of his funeral expenses.

But I believe you should report the funeral home to your state/county legislators as they could just be trying to get "extra" money - maybe unbeknownst to his family. Either way - it is probably not totally legal. Reporting them may save some future family from being "threaten" into paying something they may/are not respnsible for.

On the brighter side - seeing as how long you were married - you may be able to draw from his Social Security benefits (when you are eligible) that could (?) be higher than your personal benefits.
Just a thought as this would only benefit you if his income over the years was higher than yours (or maybe even higher than a present husband). Only the SSA can give you answers to this question.

 
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July 6, 2010

Who's responsible for a funeral when there is a spouse?

By linda

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Bronze Feedback Medal for All Time! 186 Feedbacks
July 6, 20100 found this helpful

I would think the spouse would be responsible. I don't know who else it would be.

 

Gold Post Medal for All Time! 846 Posts
July 7, 20100 found this helpful

The spouse unless someone else volunteers.

 

Silver Feedback Medal for All Time! 450 Feedbacks
July 7, 20100 found this helpful

The spouse is. It is a debt just like any other. But by the same token, the funeral can be as simple as can be afforded. No one should make the arrangements except the one paying the bills.

 

Bronze Feedback Medal for All Time! 135 Feedbacks
July 8, 20100 found this helpful

I agree that the spouse would be; when you're married, his debt is her debt and the other way around unless some sort of legal agreement ( like a pre-nup) was in place at the time of the marriage that specifically stated otherwise and was agreed to by both parties.

The only other monkey wrench in the machinery may be if they were legally separated when the other died, or the surviving spouse left to live in a different location a long time ago and there was never a legal separation or divorce. In that case, the family's best bet is to contact an attorney.

 

Bronze Request Medal for All Time! 64 Requests
July 9, 20100 found this helpful

The fact that you are asking means that there is a problem somewhere. while the answers given are the best ones in the circumstances, it would be wise to make sure that you yourself wont have a problem like this ever! I have put aside money in a special bank account which i have told my daughter about, its actually written in my will with the a/c no. So that there will be no problems in the future and so that my ex-husband wont be able to touch them. they are written in my will as funeral expense account. Worth keeping in mind.

 
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February 5, 2014

My mother in-law remarried 8 years ago. They live in my mother's home and he will continue to live there after her death. She has let her life insurance lapse and she is now 80 years old. If she died first who should be responsible for paying for her funeral?

By Harriet W.

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February 5, 20140 found this helpful

That is something your husband should discuss with his mother and step father. That being said, if there aren't any plans already made, it would depend on how your husband feels about his mother. There are inexpensive funeral plans. If nobody in the family can afford a funeral, counties will do an inexpensive one.

In my case I will have to have the county pay my final expenses and there is one cemetery in town that has one area that has been blessed and is referred to as a spreading garden, where a person's ashes can be spread and a cement stepping stone is made with the person's name, date, etc. and put in place in the garden, all this for $100.00, plus the cost of cremation.

 
February 6, 20140 found this helpful

Bodies can be donated to a university for research. But I don't think anyone can be held financially responsible for another's fineral expenses. I could be wrong. I don't have a whole lot of friends, only one sibling left so I've told my two children, no funeral, no viewing and as simple as you can make it. That does not mean you loved me any less and I'd rather they have my money than a funeral director who would, more than likely, try to rip them off.

 

Silver Feedback Medal for All Time! 337 Feedbacks
February 6, 20140 found this helpful

Red Hatter has some very sensible advice. This is for your husband to discuss with his mother, and it depends very much on how you wish to celebrate her life after her passing. Many people prepay for their funerals, so that their children are not burdened with expense, nor spend far more on a show for the community than the parent would want.

 
December 2, 20140 found this helpful

If the man she remarried is still alive, he is responsible for the costs of her funeral. Best to have a discussion with both of them. If she paid into the policy long term then there may be funds. You need to find that out.

 
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September 3, 2013

I am legally married to a woman who recently passed away. Her family decided to pull the plug and I was present during that decision. Now they want me to pay for her funeral, but we haven't been together for more than 14 years. Am I legally responsible to pay the funeral cost?

By DP

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September 4, 20130 found this helpful

Yes, legal spouse followed by adult children. Perhaps you could all pitch in? You can cremate for less than $1,000 in WA state.

 

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September 5, 20130 found this helpful

You are saying that you and your wife have been separated for 14 years, and there is no one in her family who would rather step up and take care of her funeral? Did no one care for this poor woman? Were you living totally separate lives, or was she confined to a care home or something like that? Well, that isn't really my business, but it seems to me that whoever inherits her estate should step up and take care of the expenses. However, if there is no estate, and you can afford to pay for the funeral, perhaps you should do so, as a final act of respect for this woman whom you once loved.

 
September 5, 20130 found this helpful

In most states the spouse is responsible for funeral expenses as well as all bills the person has left behind. Only 14 years together? If your wife were a millionaire, what if her family said you all had only been together 14 years so really that isn't long enough for him to get anything. This was your wife.

 
September 24, 20130 found this helpful

Yes, some state the spouse is responsibility, and also you can donate the body to science and it want cost you a thing or you can just have the body burned and throw the ashes to the wind. Since you have been seperated for so long there may not be anything legally that ties you to her, her family can go half with you on the funeral, and I will check and see if there was an insurance policy!

 
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September 18, 2018

My brother was killed and it was supposed to get paid for by an organization. But now they don't wanna pay and I signed the papers because my mom wasn't doing well.

Am I stuck with the cost? Or can my mother assume responsibility?

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June 15, 2017

What do you do if the beneficiary only pays half of the funeral costs and takes the rest and then expects the other sibling to pay that other half?


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Gold Feedback Medal for All Time! 949 Feedbacks
June 16, 20170 found this helpful

You say beneficiary - does that mean beneficiary from a will? Has the will been executed? Was there an executor? Generally, if a normal will is executed then funeral costs would be paid from the estate.
Did all of the people involved have an opportunity to participate in planning the funeral and agreeing to the costs? Was it discussed before the funeral as to who would be responsible for paying the debt? Who signed the contract with the funeral home? Have you discussed this problem with the funeral director as they are usually very certain as to where their money is coming from?
Lots of questions but you should think about the answers before making any legal decisions.
I believe the will and/or executor are the main person/things to review/consider first.
Here is a link to review to maybe help you understand how this is suppose to work (a will and responsibilities). There may also be state laws to consider if there continues to be a problem. I believe checking the contract with the funeral director would be a good first move.

blogs.findlaw.com/.../who-pays-funeral-costs-after-a-relatives...

 

Gold Post Medal for All Time! 677 Posts
June 16, 20170 found this helpful

Every state is different. Most times the funeral expenses come from the estate. I'm not sure if there was enough in the estate to cover. If there is, it should not be your responsibility.

 
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March 15, 2016

My sister and I are not close. If she passes, am I responsible for her funeral costs?


Answers

March 16, 20160 found this helpful

Why not ask a lawyer (and mention where you both live)? I understand the laws differ rather markedly from place to place.

 
March 16, 20160 found this helpful

This link answers some questions.
blogs.findlaw.com/.../who-pays-funeral-costs-after-a-relatives...

 
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October 25, 2012

If two people are not married who is legally responsible for funeral costs and medical bills?

By Norma

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October 25, 20120 found this helpful

I think the funeral director will ask who will be responsible for the cost. They don't take care of business first and then ask who is to pay after. Best bet is to call a funeral home and ask how payment is handled for funeral costs. They would have the answers.

 

Silver Feedback Medal for All Time! 270 Feedbacks
October 26, 20120 found this helpful

Unless you have paper work drawn up, the information will be requested of your family...legal family. Get some power of att and executor work done at the lawyers. You might end up with a pauper's funeral or cremation when you want something else.

 
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November 16, 2013

My partner left his wife and came to live with me. We were together for 2 years. He never divorced is wife and he has now died. I've been told that his wife is the next of kin so she has to arrange the funeral and handle the cost. Is this right?

By Luela from Lancashire

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November 17, 20130 found this helpful

I would think that would be right, but then on other hand if she is resentful of the situation she might not be inclined to do so. That being said I would never admit to having a married man live with me. If his wife doesn't do the funeral and you don't want to do it, turn him over to the country as being indigent. Unless he has a bunch of money in savings and you can get to it, in which case use that. You aren't really entitled to have anything of his other than what you purchased together. Did he have a will and did he by any chance have pre-made funeral plans.

 
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ThriftyFun is one of the longest running frugal living communities on the Internet. These are archives of older discussions.

July 6, 2010

My mother passed away Aug 9th, 2009. She was married and her husband (my step-father) did not show up to make the funeral arrangements. My question is, if you are married and something like this happens can the legal spouse be held responsible and be made to pay for the funeral arrangements?

 
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April 30, 2010

My mother recently lost her husband of 35 years. The day before he passed his daughter got him to sign a power of attorney for his funeral arrangements.

 
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