We have over $22,000.00 in credit card debt, 2 car payments and can't get rid of them for we owe more than they are worth, a house payment and heloc loan we got when we purchased our home for the down payment, medical bills, and the utility bills.
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My heart goes out to you and your family.
We too have been ear deep in debt and are still somewhat clawing our way out of it. We have four kids who range in age from 9 to 24. It's scary not knowing how you'll make ends meet.
Fortunately we were introduced to the Dave Ramsey website ( http://www.daveramsey.com ) and learned how to prioritize and budget our money. He has several books out and I'm sure some of them are available from the library.
Two of the best tips we got from him are: 1) name every dollar before you spend it; and 2) protect the "four walls of your house"
Name every dollar refers to his zero based budget idea. The idea is that you sit down with a piece of paper and list each check. From each check you deduct each expense you have before the month even starts. That way you know where your money is going. You direct your money rather than trying to chase it down and see where it went after the fact.
Also, as you pay your expenses, you pay them in a certain order which protects the "four walls" of your house. What are the four walls? The four walls are what every family needs in order to survive: food, shelter (rent, utilities, etc), transportation (gotta get to work), and
He also has a three hour radio show he does M-F. If you don't have a local station that carries it, the broadcast is also available off his website for free.
I wish you and your family the best. God bless.
Kathryn
Have you checked with any local foodbanks or an organization in your area that can provide some relief for you on your grocery bills? Also, check with the same organization for heating assistance or any other type of help they can offer.
If you aren't already using a budget to get the maximum out of your financial resources, I would strongly recommend putting one into play. It will help immeasurably to see where the money is going and how you can use it to better advantage.
Call your local Extension office and see if they have any helpful booklets on budgeting, low cost meals, etc.
Surf the internet for all kinds of helpful advice on budgeting, consolidating debt, accerelated strategic debt reduction plans according to your debt load and based upon your current income.
Spend lots of time going through back issues of every thrify internet site there is because you will find a wealth of hints and tips for keeping more of your money in your pocketbook to be applied to those debts.
I wish you good luck! While getting out from under this kind of debt can be a challenge and at times will seem disheartening, it can be done!
Approach all the foodbanks and also goodwills in your area, go through your whole house and garage and sort out anything that may be sold in a yard sale. Approach all of the agencies and people you owe money to and explain your situation to them fully and honestly. They will see that you are a woman of integrity and honor and in all likelihood will be open to an arrangement for payment that will be easier on your family.
Ang
Have you checked out Consumer Credit Counseling?(or some similar non-profit organizations?)
My sister was in a similar situation and she contacted CCC and they helped her reduce her monthly expenses (on Credit Cards) by almost $400.00 month. This action saved her from filing Bankruptcy..which she did NOT want to do.
Good Luck
Been there......not as deep in debt, but had the dh on disability.......immediately go online and apply for Social Security.......they may help till he is back to work.........it is a hassle, but worth it......apply for foodstamps, etc......call all utilities as they sometimes will lower your bill for the time, if you have AOL, call them and tell them your situation, they usually give a few free months-if not cancel and go on 'free' internet, apply for free lunch at school- ask if they have any help available re graduation expenses, etc...contact all creditors as was said before and explain the situation.....drive only one car and try and take the insurance to minimum for the other car.....ASK relatives to help.......if all else fails, figure out what is important and pay all of that first........use libraries for entertainment....videos, CD's.......enjoy your family.......this will pass and you will probably learn what not to do next time.....and think how strong you will be then......good luck and keep intouch with the group.""
The hardest thing to do is to take one day at a time and get through that day. Turn it all over to God and He will get you through each day. That is how I get along. You ask Him for help and He helps. I will pray each day for you.
You should read "The Complete Tightwad Gazette" by Amy Daczycin from cover to cover. It has excellent tips and it's very well written and not at all boring. I was able to save an incredible amount of money when my husband was laid off for two years. Another thing to think about is how you can reduce your expenses each month instead of how to make more money to pay off bills. You'd be surprised how much easier it is to get rid of things like cable, internet access for a fee, cell phones, voicemail, video rentals (use the library), magazine subscriptions, daily latte, prepared foods, expensive snacks, eating out...etc. The number one way to quickly reduce your "output" monthly is FOOD. A lot of people spend way too much on food each month and by tackling that first you'll save a lot. It all adds up. Good luck.
Go to www.benefits.gov and answer some questions and it will do a search and give you a list of "aid" that you qualify for. It's all free.
Thank you all so much for your feed back. It lifts my spirits to know you took the time to give advice. I will get the tightwad gazette from the library and go to daveramsey.com. I already have a trial version of aol for a couple of months. Cell phones and direct tv are under contract. Any suggestions on how to get out of cell phone and satelite tv contracts? I really need to learn how to make nutritious meals on as little money a week as possible. My goal is 50 a week for our family of 4. I drive 72 miles one way to work and that makes gas at $30.00 every two days. I earn too much for food stamps as suggested in one of the feedbacks. If we didn't have so many bills my income would be great! I know it is all our fault but damage is done and I must deal with it. Thank you all again for taking time to help with your advice. I will keep looking for your post and will follow your advice and encouragement.
God Bless
Ablssdmm
I feel for you honey. A lot of wireless companies
will tell you what their cancellation fee is if you call
them and ask. Even if it is $125.00 it is still better
than paying $40.00 a month for another full year
of however long you contract is for. If its only for
a month or two then hang on and then cancel without
the fees.
I have lived many years below the poverty line. I choose to make a living as a craftsperson and that means little money.
I buy all food on sale. Really. If you do, you will find that every meat goes on sale regularly, every fruit, etc. I know the best prices for most of the things I buy and do without until they are at that price.
I buy all clothes at a second hand store that has half price on certain color tags (rotating colors). Sometimes they are cheaper, on major sale, at department stores. I only buy what I need.
Before spending money I ask myself how passionately I want that thing...do I want it more than any other thing the world has to offer? Usually not.
Money is power and control, but only if you have it. Once you spend it it is dead, lost and gone forever. Make a game of saving, not spending. See yourself as a winner when you get what you want without spending.
I go to Europe every year, even in years when I made less than $10,000 because I am passionate about that and more than happy to eat eggs for dinner, drink water, and forego most restaurant meals.
You will be healthier, thinner, have more fun and feel more powerful when you learn that your happiness doesn't come from spending, and even moreso when you have enough to give some away.
Good luck. I'm pulling for you!
Your daughter and/or you should contact her guidance counselor and explain the change in financial circumstances and ask for their assistance regarding college education costs. Also go online and check out www.fastweb.com -- this is a website that lists hundreds of scholarships, some of them extremely obscure -- she should apply for as many as she remotely thinks she may qualify for.
You do not mention details about your husband's disability -- is he flat on his back in bed? Or is he able to do some things, but not 100% cleared to return to work? He should explain the financial situation to his doctor -- maybe he can be cleared to return part time, or to return to "light duty" to accomodate his temporary disability. Can hubby oversee a yard sale while you are at work? Can he clip coupons from the newspaper and match them to on-sale items in the grocery flyers, so that the shopping list is ready to go when you get home from work? Can he list items for sale on ebay or half.com?
Back when you had disposable income, you may have signed up for "extras" such as credit disability -- the sales pitch is that this coverage pays your credit card bills when a breadwinner is out of work due to a disability. Call your credit card companies and see if you have this coverage, and if so, how to activate it.
I didn't know until I went into "extreme broke mode" due to similar circumstances, that you can cancel magazine & newspaper subscriptions mid-stream, and request a refund of the unused portion of your subscription price. For me, that produced a little bit of "found money" to apply to grocery costs.
I have been there, and have survived. You will, too! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
Hi Becki,
My husband is not flat of his back and is able to work and begged the doctor to release but the doc refuses to clear him. His job will not let him come back on light duty. He calls every week trying to get light duty but they refuse. We don't get a newspaper or magazines. I get coupons from old papers at work, shop the dent can store, and buy only sale items. I think I will call the satelite tv company and cell phone company to see if our circumstances will allow us to cancel but I doubt they will. I will go to fastweb to look for scholarships and have my daughter to help. Her school cancelor is new and should of let us know to apply for scholarships in my daughters junior year but she did not and that has a lot to do with the struggles of getting a scholarship this year but I will be sure to get a head start on next year and I will know what to do when my son gets in high school. I would put my husband to clipping coupons if I we had coupons to clip:-) I could find something to put on ebay and have him oversee it and see how that works. I let him gather stuff for a yard sale also. Thank you so much for your advice and taking the time to comment. Just a reminder that we are not lazy, I work two jobs , my daughter works a part-time job and goes to high school, my 12 y/o son tries not to ask for things.
Thanks again
I have been exactly where you are and it was just over a year ago. I called my credit card companies and told them that if they didn't lower my interest rate and forgo all fees that I owed that I might have to file bankruptcy. One company lowered the rate to 5%, another to 2% and another to 0% all for a year. I also talked to my lease company and got them to put my lease payments on hold for three months. The only one that wouldn't work with me was they mortgage company. Most places will try to work out what they can, especially if it is their best interest to do so. Good Luck. It took me a year, but I am now $5000 less in credit card debt and a lot happier.
I know you are not lazy -- the fact that you are turning to others for help shows that you are trying to get control of your situation! If you have never sold on the internet before, I would suggest checking out www.half.com -- it's a division of e-bay, but instead of listing an item and taking bids, you set your own price. I have sold books on half.com for a couple of years now and made close to $1000 total, for very little work.
Why is the doctor refusing to release hubby to work? Is the doctor aware of the financial situation? He may think he's doing your hubby a favor by giving him "extra" time off -- if your husband makes it clear how this is hurting the family and the doc still won't clear him, maybe it's out of legitimate concern for his health. I would make sure the lines of communication are open bwteen them.
I will certainly keep you in my prayers!
Hi Becki,
I will try the half.com thing for I have plenty of old nursing books. The doctor will not let hub go back to work because he has nerve damage in his hand and cannot move his thumb at all. He is waiting on healing from the last surgery so he can do some nerve transplantion. If he uses that hand to much he could loose movement to his other digits. It sounds like nothing, Just a hand, but it sure has turned into a big something! Yes, my husband tells his doctor at every visit what a hardship this is causinghis family.
Thank you so much for your help:-)
Hi HD,
I do get depressed a lot but try to hold it in and my husband is derpessed but does not verbalize it. So what is better...credit counceling or bankruptcy? Which one allows you to get credit back sooner if needed. Not that if I ever get out of this would I want to go back but I know things happen out of our control. I called the credit card companies a year or so ago and not one of them would lower interest rates. Right now I only have two that are about two weeks behind but they will start piling up for I will not have it to pay if I intend on feeding my family and keeping the house. I have one credit card with a 28 percent interest! Will they lower interest if you are late on the payments already? We have only had the house for about 3 years and I hate to give it up because we lived in a 12 x 65 mobile home for 10 years. I went to college and worked three part-time jobs during that time because I wanted to get my children out of that dump. The house is a dream come true for us and we don't take that for granted. I can pay the house payment without the credit card bills. But if I must loose the house we would survive but it sure would break my spirit and my children's. WE can't believe we live in a house and I am almost in awe everytime I pull in the driveway. NOt that is is an elaborate house but it is a gift from God to us ...it is like it is to good to be true and it might be if it gets so bad that we have to give it up. Thanks for your advice . I apprecitate your replys and welcome every new reply.
God Bless
I have been there too. I read the Tightwad Gazette and am trying to keep expenses low. Try to keep your chin up. I know it is hard. I have a blog where I'm trying to write down my thoughts about my debt and how I plan to get out of it.
http://nodebtforme.blogspot.com
I got a cccs anaylsis yesterday and their recomendation is for me to see an attorney. If any of you were in my shoes what would you do. Can't sale cars because they are worth about 10 or 15 thousand less than what I owe, can't get rid of cell phone because that would cost 740 up front to get out of contract, direct tv's contract ends in december, getting aol on free trail at this moment, That is the extras we have, don't go to movies, but do eat out at drive thru on the dollar menu which is about 5 dollars a week. we drink water. the rest of expenses is credit cards , utilites and house payment. The house does not have enough equity to be sold yet and the kitchen needs floor work and it came with a heloc loan that has not decreased but 140 dollars in three year! that thing is worse than the credit cards! It helped us get in house without a down payment. my husband has applied for temporary ssi for the third time . we are now waiting for a reply for the third time. I am going to try to sale some junk on ebay, sale some stuff thru a free add in our local flyer. If all else fails backruptcy or more than likely the altrnative that Budd hibbs offers. Please pray that I don't loose sanity. I know we brough this on ourselves but that does not stop the guilt and depression that I have now. WE are not a happy family. The light has faded in my childrens eyes. I teach my children that if they work hard and make good grades, never be tardy, perfect attendance then it will pay off . My daughter has not said anything but the spark is gone in her eyes. She worked hard , had good attendance, always responsible and it has not helped her a bit. As a matter of fact the kids at school who have below average grades, even been in trouble with drugs have gotten scholarships. Why is that? Why can't a child who has stayed out of trouble , contributed to her community and school , and been a credit to her friends and family not get a scholarship of some kind. There is still time so hopefully I am wrong. thanks for your prayers again.
Forget aboutknocking yourself out.....get a good attorney and find out how to go about filling for bankrupcy..no shame in it.....just do it..and you will
be able to get a fresh start..quit killing yourself.
Could the lady who posted originally please let us know how they are doing now?
Could the lady who posted originally please let us know how they are doing now?
I think sometimes, knowing that people care is important, and that u trust in God...
simple ways to make extra money is helpful
but because of the illness of your husband, we need to look at ways of limiting your debt
1. cut cards
2. inform Creditors or your intention to pay
3. I am from Canada, but just paid off my highest interest debts with a lower interest credit card from 28% and 17% to 3.59%
4. Give one credit card to a friend or family member with no access until debt completely paid.
5. Reach out to the Church if u go...
6. Sometimes exchange of services will help relief u
7. Moving to a cheaper place might not be an option, but renting out a room may be.
I will send u a website that I just love with a variety of ideas, that might help out...
8. Online there are ways to make money but u need to be careful.
Is your husband able to use the computer at all? Does his disabiltiy prevent him from doing anything?
It is difficult to know other than what u have told me...
but sharing is good
please rent the movie "The Secret" this might help u to "Believe"
get a stone and keep it in your pocket,
I went to the Dollar store in Toronto the other day
and bought a bag of stones with some simple sayings on them...
"Faith"
"Hope"
etc.
I have a strong Faith but let me tell you that this simple rocks and Faith really worked....
I hope that my message was helpful
I wish u well
take inventory of your debt
gas bills
hydro
no packaged foods.
frugal living is a must right now, but not forever
Regards
Janet Menezes from Toronto
General tip for eating frugally - Use less meat! and then only for flavoring - use lots of beans/tofu cheese/eggs and other forms of protein. Make lots of soups/stews (you can put anything in them.) Eat potatoes and pasta. Drink water & iced tea - Buy thing like canned tuna etc when they are on sale - Buy your bread goods at discount bakery stores - all those things can be easily frozen. Buy in bulk at places like Smart & Final...Always bring your own lunch/coffee/drinks. Get your kids to have their school lunches paid for...See about food stamps and any other assistance here. Get your kid to the financial aid office of the institution she is applying for & rack their brains about funding. Try to get your payments down thru a credit counseling service - See what you can do about the cars - I don't believe that you can't get rid of them somehow...Next time GO USED. Have yard sales and get rid of everything excess....Look around for ways to pick up $ - odd jobs, etc. You kids could baby sit, for example....mow lawns, you get the idea. Shop at thrift shops and dollar stores FIRST. Repair, reuse, recycle.Check to see that your credit cards don't have some provision for your husband going on disability to ease your burden....It's really fun when you get used to it.....
Hi I am the original poster form 2005! I came back to this site and seen that I had replys in 2007! Wow thanks for your comments. So I thought I would update you on where I am at present. I did not file bankruptcy. I just paid off one car and it has 230,000 miles on it and I still drive it everyday 114 miles to and from work. My prayers are being answered in that it is still dependable. I let some of the credit cards go into old bad debt. I have started paying on one and made some payment offers on two more but I do not have a reply back yet. My husband never got another job but he draws SSI now. He pays the light bill , his truck payment , and car insurance. I pay the rest of the bills and it takes every dime. If a miss a day of work ( as in the extra days I normally work )then I get behind. I have tried to find cheaper housing but rent is more or the same as my house payment so why bother. I have ask several different companies for help and no one can really help. It is discouraging but i am surviving. I do feel that I am in this alone and sometimes I get angry with my husband because he does not take extra effort to help. I work so much that I have missed my children's childhood. I have three more years with my youngest child before they go off to college hopefully with a scholarship! I don't see any hope of have any time to spend with them because I must work work work to keep us from drowning. It saddens me deeply but I have learned to accept it and do what I must do. I will rent that movie the secret as one reader suggested. They also were going to send me a web site that could help. I never got that web site. so ...Jane if you read this will you send it to me? Thanks so much to all of you. I would love for you to send me more suggestions. I need the support to get me thru until every debt is paid in full.
I hope the original poster reads this &/or it helps others. I am retired from the Social Security Administration last working in the Office of Disability & Review component where judges hear appealed disability cases. This is the Agency that administers the Supplemental Security Income (SSI) program. If your husbands still gets SSI payments, even if the check is only $1, he is eligible for Medicaid health coverage through the state. This pays for everything and includes about 3 or so prescription drugs a month (use this to pay the most expensive or get a prescription for 2 months worth), basic dental care, and basic eye care.
In addition, in most states, if you receive SSI you are eligible for food stamps with the state. Also, if you receive food stamps, you may be eligible for utility assistance (like in Texas electric assistance during the hottest months and phone assistance). Check with the state to see what you may be eligible for. See if your daughter qualifies for a work/study program with a federal agency. For example, these students generally work at entry grade level for a semester and then go to school a semester and also have summer employment. When the student graduates, he/she gets a permanent job offer that student can accept or not. Have her decide what type of career she is interested in, then go to an Agency that does that type of work.
I have upmost respect for those who get out of credit card debt and learn their lesson; for the others I have no sympathy. For those who don't pay, the rest of us pay in the long run.
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