Ever since my daughter was 3 she used the potty with little effort. She did use a diaper at night. She always waited to poop until I put the diaper on her.
Now at 4 1/2 she refuses to sit on the potty. She says she is scared. After trying everything from rewards, to talking to her, I held her on the potty for 45 minutes, she screamed the entire time, I started to get worried someone would think I was hurting her and gave up.
There are also a lot of changes we have been going through lately. I do not know what to do to help my daughter use the potty. Please help.
By Dawn Heath from Myrtle Beach, SC
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My daughter uses a chart hanging in the bathroom and when her child goes she gets a sticker to place on the chart. after a certain number of successes she gets to have a small prize. So far so good.
My 2 1/2 year old runs around with no diaper, pants or underwear while we are at home. If he says he needs a diaper, I know he needs to poop so I make it fun and say don't you run to the potty, I have to go first, don't beat me to it.
Try putting him backwards on the toilet. Buy a few hot wheels {or some special car he wants} but ONLY allow him to play with them on the toilet tank while he "going" and no other time.
You can also add some special books that he only gets to read/play with when he is on the pot. A lot of kids feel like they are going to "fall in" when they sit on the toilet forward and by putting him on the pot backwards he can lean against the tank and feel secure. He will also be able to climb up onto the pot by himself this way, it worked for my son and my nephew.
Maybe he's afraid to sit on it. Do you put him on an adult toilet or a child's 'potty' ?
I am not sure if this would work well for pooping but it worked well for my some with peeing. We set a timer alarm on the computer that would go off every two hours just for him to try, whether or not he had to even go. We gradually lengthened the time between the alarms and this worked so well for us.
I like Coll3's method. Games are a lot more fun than nagging!
My daughter used the "sticker method" with her son because that was what worked for him. She added an extra layer, though: if he regressed badly, he'd have to peel off a sticker and give it back to Mama. He didn't like that!
At 4 1/2 (barring any developmental delays) your child should be able to tell you why the toilet is so scary. Until you understand why it is so scary, it may be impossible to make it better for your daughter.
My oldest was scared that the toilet would overflow. It never had before, but that was her fear. To get her past it, I had her stand at the door where she could hear and see the toilet flush, but not be near if it did. She cried the first few times, but soon she did come closer and eventually got over the fear.
You also stated there are other changes at home. Little kids don't handle stress the same way adults do, but they do get stressed none the less. She may not be scared of the toilet so much as the change has bothered her to the point that for whatever reason her fear/stress is attached to the toilet.
Both for my own children and the children I have worked with in day care, the best method I found to potty train any age was to put them in the clothes and panties for the day.
Delicate subject, but this has to be asked. Does your daughter feel afraid to potty because it hurts? If this is a yes, is it possible someone has been hurting her? Talk to her about her fears. Something out of the ordinary has happened.
If she likes to primp, let her put on lipstick or make-up after each successful poop! It worked for my grand-daughter.
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