I'm 18 and I need help on dressing myself. I want to learn how to dress cute and sexy, cute, but casual. I would like to learn how to mix and match stuff. I really don't like to get dressed because I feel like I'm too ugly and fat and I'll just look gross.
When we have parties to attend or anything else where you need to dress nicely I don't. I really don't know how to dress myself and it embarrasses me. That's why I don't go anywhere not even to parties. I want to change my style and look nice. Please I need some help on how I can dress and what websites to get the stuff from.
By 09bby from Fresno, CA
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If you have a weight problem there is a clothing store for teens/young women called something like "Deb Shoppe." They have young peoples plus size clothing and it isn't real expensive. I don't know where all they are located but they do have a web site. Look through a few of the Seventeen magazines and see what you like.
I have two granddaughters, 18-21, who dress how they want to, jeans, tees, and hoodies. They don't have one single dress up outfit and don't want any. It really frustrates me because I figure every young person should have a decent outfit. Without knowing you it is hard to tell you how to dress. Do you have a close female relative that you could go to for advice. Maybe help you go through your clothes and have you try them on to see what looks best on you and go from there.
Don't spend a fortune on new clothes, buy most of your clothes at Thrift Stores! Your friends will never know & even if they do find out, tell them you are "shopping for vintage items" because this is all the rage, even for Hollywood celebrities! If you want to buy new clothes, don't go to the mall & department stores were everything is expensive, instead go to stores like "Ross, T.J.-Max & Marshals". These are stores that sell designer clothes for a quarter of the price & they are made well too! I would never buy my clothes online without trying them on, with the exception of Sears & Target where you can easily take them back to the store if the fit isn't right. You really need to try your clothes on before you buy & don't feel weird if nothing fits, because for most of us, we have to try on at least 20 things that don't fit. for every one thing that does fit!
Here's my advice for always looking good & looking thin:
Buy lots of black clothes because you can match practically any color with black (except navy & brown) & black makes you look thinner! So when you are out shopping or when you go to the thrift store, look for black pants or jeans, & black & navy skirts or tops. Don't wear all black when you get dressed, you don't want to look like a vampire! Always try to wear something colorful with the black, even if it's just a colorful necklace or scarf. You don't want to look like a goth girl & you won't if you always add a bit of color with your black. If you have lots of black in your closet, you'll know you can wear black with almost everything. Also, Navy is another great color! I may be prejudice because half my wardrobe is black & navy!
* Note: buy a sticky lint-roller to remove any lint or hair from your dark clothes!
If you want to look thinner, never wear stripes that go sideways (horizontal) they tend to make you look wider, instead look for stripes that go up & down.. Also, it's best to never wear large prints or patterns, instead wear tiny prints. Large flowers, prints & large plaids tend to make anyone (even a runway model) look wider. Your accessories can also help you look thinner, for example a long scarf or a long necklace, can fool-the-eye & make you look a bit taller & thinner by creating a long vertical line, whereas a short fluffy scarf, worn around the neck can make you look wider!
Another important thing, if you're bigger than a size 7/8 never wear tight clothes! Don't wear clothes that you have to squeeze into or are skin tight, they tend to show your flaws. Nearly all women have one part of their body they like less than the rest. With me, it's my tummy, so I never wear anything that is tight or short that shows my tummy, but I know I have nice legs, so sometimes I'll show them off! Try to emphasize your best feature & camouflage your least-favorite feature! Also, Dark Navy blue jeans are more slimming that light blue, because darker colors make you look thinner.
Also, I recently read an article on a sewing web-site that talked about the best way to dress to look taller & thinner, The article said the best way to look the tallest & slimmest is to wear all-one-color & darker colors... For example, instead of wearing a pair of jeans & a white top, you'd wear a dark blue top (in print or solid) to match the color of your jeans. Or you'd wear a navy vest or jacket with a colorful top under the vest along with your navy jeans. It's all about the eye looking in one unbroken line. If you want to look thinner, stay away from ruffles & other "fluff" because the more simple your outfit it is, the thinner you'll look!
Dresses: Women always look nice in dresses (especially simple or solid color dresses). Dresses are usually very flattering to all body types! They tend to make you look thinner too! A dress doesn't have to be fancy or for "dressing-up", it can also be casual. Like a simple cotton dress can be worn with sandals (for a casual look) or with heals (if you want to dress it up). And halter dresses (dresses or tops that tie behind your neck) are extra becoming! Go to a secondhand store & see if you can find some simple long (mid-calf) & short (knee-length) dresses. If you have 3 or 4 dresses you really like, you get dressed in 5 minutes (& always look nice!) because you just throw the dress on, then choose fancy or simple shoes (to dress it up or down) & a pair of earrings & you are set to go! No worrying what goes with what. You'll also want to buy a simple black & a navy button-up (cardigan) sweater to wear over your summer dresses.
Make yourself a checklist of the clothes below & go shopping to some thrift shops & second-hand stores & look for some of these items. If you have these, you will always look, nice, classy & put-together! You don't have to buy everything at once, just keep your eyes open for these things to add to your wardrobe:
- Black pants
- Black jeans (nice fitting, not to tight & not baggy)
- 2 Blue jeans (at least 2 pairs of black & navy jeans that you really love!)
- Black skirt (loose & comfortable & long, mid-calf length)
- Black skirt
- 3 Black dresses (sleeveless, short-sleeve & long sleeve)
- 3 Black tops (sleeveless, short-sleeve & long sleeve)
- 1 Black blouse
- 2 or 3 black knit tops or T-shirts
- 3 pairs of Black shoes - sandals, low heals & tennis shoes
- 1 Black blazer (fitted lightweight jacket)
- 1 black cardigan (button-up sweater)
- 1 black vest (to wear with you black skirts & pants with colorful tops under them)
- 1 black lightweight summer jacket
- 1 Black winter coat
- 1 Black fleece jacket
- 1 black purse
- Black socks
- Black Tights (for skirts & dresses in winter)
- Cute black & colorful headbands & hair clips
- Colorful scarves (Thin cotton scarves for summer & thicker scarves for winter)
- Many colorful tops
- Bras that fit correctly & do not show (without cup seams)
- a bra that can be changed from plain to strapless, criss-cross & halter
- Panties that won't give you panty-lines
- Lots of cute earrings & jewelry (but only wear 1 or 2 pieces of jewelry at a time!)
* Earrings are great conversation starters!
Also, buy some of the same things in Navy, to go with your jeans, especially a navy fleece jacket. Then buy some cute tops to go with these clothes. You don't have to look "Trendy", but if you have lots of black & navy, you will always look "pulled-together". Then you simply decide on a simple top or shirt to wear with it!
* Washing: Read the labels, & make sure you can machine wash everything you buy! Dark colors will last longer & fade less if you always wash them in cold water, then hang dry & I always turn everything inside-out before I wash it, to keep my clothes looking new longer!
* Shoes: You can buy your shoes at Walmart & other discount shoe stores, but look for Leather uppers so they will last. My favorite brand that Walmart sells is Dr Sholls with "gel-pack insoles" they are super-comfy, made from real leather & come in many styles in the fall & in the spring they sell sandals.
First of all, I know it's a cliche but a smile is the most attractive thing you can wear! If you don't have confidence in yourself no outfit will make you feel attractive. Focus on the things you like about yourself rather than dwelling on the negative. Instead of thinking "I'm too fat" think "I've got a cute nose" or "I've got a nice laugh." Trust me, there isn't a woman in the world who doesn't doubt their looks from time to time. It is what's on the inside that counts. Believe in yourself and people will respond.
Second, (and I'm not saying you don't do any of these things!) it's important to take care of your personal hygeine. Keep your hair clean and nice, shower, wear clean clothes, etc. It sounds basic but it can be easy to neglect especially if you're feeling down. If you feel like you're too big, try and lose a little weight. Just doing a few simple exercises can make a difference.
Third, just try to find your own style. You don't need an outfit that screams "Here I am!" when you walk in the room, but if you're wearing your style you'll automatically feel more comfortable. Find clothes that fit well, that aren't too tight or too loose. I also think that skirts and dresses tend to be more flattering than shorts and pants. Good luck! :)
I think you could get some really good advice from the gals who work in ladies wear stores. They often have a lot of experience and can tell you what looks good on you and how to put together an outfit. Just checking out the way the mannequins are dressed gives you some tips. If you buy several pieces at the same time, you can get the salesperson's advice on how well they match. If you actually do have a weight problem, you need to dress to fit it. Do not buy anything that is too small. Buy good bras. Do not try to dress like you weighed 98 pounds. Some of the most elegant women I know are overweight.
The show What Not to Wear, if it is still on, gave great tips on how to put together outfits and how to avoid fashion disasters.
I don't think you should shop from websites, as you can't try the clothing on for fit or style. Go to a shop and preferably take a friend who knows how to dress and put together an outfit. And if you don't have a friend, go to a place where they wait on you and offer good advice. If there is no one to help you, go to a different store.
My dear, you are not ugly or fat. You just have low self esteem. At your age you will look good in many different things but since you are unsure, buy outfits that are already put together on display in the stores. You won't have to worry that they don't go together and you will know that the colors are right. After a while picking outfits will come naturally to you. God Bless.
You will find your own personal style! Spend an entire day, no matter how tiring, at different stores and just choose clothes off the rack and try them on! Play mix and match with them! If you love the way something looks on you then that is part of your personality and build on that :-) The best rule of thumb it to not wear too skimpy or tight fitting clothing! It's more cute, alluring and sexy to leave things to the imagination ;-)
The other posts here are awesome so listen to all the advice and you will find your place in the sun! In speaking of finding your place in the sun, here's a song that lightened my heart when I was young. I am definitely an older coot now - LOL but it still gives me such a positive boost and it's the spirit of the song that will lift you up :-) I think if you listen to it, it will give you a 'You Go Girl' boost :-)
This video is too dumb to watch but the sound is decent so just crank up your speakers and literally dance with joy and go 09bby shopping ;-)
www.youtube.com/
And you are beautiful 09bby!
A Place in the Sun
by Pablo Cruise
Well ev'rybody's heart needs a holiday sometime.
And ev'ryone of us needs to get away, somehow.
So I'm laughing lighthearted moods, oh, the sight-seeing afternoons.
And tellin' a joke or two, 'cause ev'ryday invites you to find
Your place in the sun,
It's time to find your place in the sun.
(find your place, find your place in the sun)
It's time to find your place in the sun.
Ev'rybody's pannin' for gold, and you can find it for a price.
Love always promises to last forever, but sometimes it just don't work out.
'Cause laughing lighthearted tunes, oh, sometimes they turn to blues.
So tell yourself a joke or two, 'cause ev'ry day invites you to find
Your place in the sun,
It's time to find your place in the sun.
(find your place, find your place in the sun)
It's time to find your place in the sun.
It's time to find your place in the sun.
First off don't try to dress sexy. A real lady is sexy by how much integrity and style she has--and I don't mean clothing style. Find a friend who you know dresses well and have her go along on your shopping trips. Two sets of eyes are better than one for dressing well. Find a style that is comfortable for you and go with it, you want men to admire you not look down your cleavage. Any outfit you wear should first be seen by your father (gasp, I know), dads know what young boys think when they see young girls in certain outfits and you really want to be respected and not sexy looking. Good luck:)
Be careful when taking the advice of sales people; they are there to sell. I've had sales ladies tell me something looked good on me and I knew full well it as a disaster. Take a trusted, honest friend or relative with you. I'm a Grandma and I do by best shopping with my 36 year old daughter. When I'm with a friend or my Daughter I'll try on things I'd never dream of wearing and their judgment talked me into some very attractive things for my body type and age.
You sound like me when I was 18. When I was your age I had little self esteem and thought I was ugly. I see pictures of myself now at 18 and I see what others saw in me. I think most 18 year old girls say the same things if only to themselves. I know my Daughter did too.
Sweet girl, don't be so hard on yourself! Having confidence in WHO you are is much more attractive than any outfit you could buy! Concentrate on your best traits. Do you have pretty hair or pretty hands or nice skin or good teeth? What is it about yourself that you like? Whatever that is, emphasize that.
If you have pretty hands, always try to have your nails painted and polished. If you have nice teeth, always wear lipstick to show them off. If you have pretty feet, wear lots of strappy sandals. If you have pretty hair, buy fun hair accessories to show it off. As for clothes,my policy it to always buy solid colors and then let your jewelry pull an outfit together.
Start buying fun earrings, bracelets and necklaces at thrift stores for cheap. Buy all different colors, shapes and sizes. Then with a simple solid color blouse and skirt, you put on great jewelry with some pizzazz and people will think you are very fashionable. Be bold and fun with the jewelry. Another good thing about wearing solid colors is being able to mix and match them with other things in your wardrobe. And remember, most of us all felt insecure about our looks at your age. I wore red converse all-star sneakers when I was your age! What was I thinking? :)
It is so easy to feel fat and ugly. Do you realise that the photographs of models in magazines are all airbrushed to make the models look slim and perfect? They are not real.
As far as dressing yourself goes, the important points to concentrate on are your hair and shoes. These are what people notice most about you as they are the extremities (the top and bottom) of your look. The other very important thing is to wear a well fitting bra.
I am in the UK where clothes are more expensive and I can't afford to make mistakes. To experiment I buy clothes from rummage sales very cheaply. This way I get to know what colours and styles work well on me.
Most items of clothing anyone buys need some alteration, such as made shorter or nipped in at the waist to fit the individual. Perhaps an older friend or relative would help you to make any alterations that your clothes need.
If you feel that a garment is all wrong on you try and work out why and see if you can improve it. For example, a loose top and loose trousers together can look sloppy. A loose top with slimmer trousers, or a fitted top with loose trousers, usually works better.
Try and have fun. The worst that can happen with any garment is that you decide never to wear it again.
Hello, we had a friend that felt just about the same way and really needed help to feel better about herself.
I belong to a medium size church and discussed this with the people in charge of programs (try taliking to anyone at a local church) and decided that our friend was probably not the only young person (male or female) who felt this way.
A program was started with volunteers and after some mistakes it is going well and has generated quite a lot of interest. It took a lot of work - mostly organizing speakers and helpers but it seems to be needed.
Maybe someone at a chuch near you would be able to help. Don't feel like you are the only one who is in this position as many young people need help adjusting to the world.
Good luck and remember- keep smiling!
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